The Talk We Needed

It was half-past two in the morning, and I still can't sleep. I rolled over to the right, and the bunk bed creaked a bit. Six of my classmates were occupying the three bunk beds in our room. I am at the top bunk while my friend, Monica, was on the lower bed, and my friend, Kim, was sleeping on the mattress on the floor next to us. After the last three days' activities, we are all tired to the bone. We had things planned to do on our last night at the camp, but none of it happened. We all just wanted to rest and ready to go home.

I, on the other hand, can't find sleep. I have been trying to, but I can't. Too many thoughts were keeping me awake. No matter how hard I try, I keep failing to shut it down. I rolled once again to rest my back on the wall.

"Jane, stop moving, will you?" Monica mumbled from under my bed.

"Sorry," I whispered.

With that, I decided to sneak out. There's no point trying to get some sleep this time. I looked for my bag in the dark and grabbed my jacket. I peeked out the door to see if any patrol guards were around. I saw one and waited for him to move away. I slid the door open as quietly as possible. The cold air and the smell of morning dew greeted me right away. Lucky me, our room was not near any floodlights. I hid in the dark as I closed the door.

I began tracing my way into the darkness. I planned to go to the treehouse since it's away from the dorm rooms and it's rather dark in there. And from what I saw on our first day, it's got some nice view of the sky at night. It's a few kilometers away, and from what I saw earlier, the patrol guards might be keeping an eye on it.

I run west, taking the path from our room to the enormous sandpit, where I lost one of my earrings earlier. I hid behind a gigantic palm tree. I was next to the mini-park, which was bright with yellow fairy lights, by the way. There's also the field on my right, which is well-lit by the floodlights. I can see the silhouette of the treehouse from where I am standing. It was beyond the field. Now, how am I supposed to get there without getting caught?

I comb back my memory for the last three days. There must be another way. Aha! There's a shortcut that leads to the trees behind the mini convenience store. I took the left path and run, almost crouching, my way to the store. It's been closed for hours, so I don't think someone could be there anymore.

Easy-peasy lemon squeezy, I made it to the trees. However, I don't know how to get to the treehouse from there. I heard a nearby patrol guard sneezed, so I immediately run into the trees. I used my phone flashlight this time since I am not aware of what elements might be hiding on the up and even down. It's scary and cold. At first, it seems like I'm lost, but soon enough, I saw a glimpse of the floodlights from the field shining through the edge of the trees.

As I've said, there's no lighting in the treehouse, so it was dark in there. Looking at it from below, I started to question my life decisions. It was like a place where ghouls hide. I even felt goosebumps.

I was startled to death when I suddenly heard some rustling noise nearby. I immediately hid behind the tree's thick trunk. With a hand on my chest and another on my mouth, I waited for whatever it is to come out. Someone was walking, and it's getting near. It stopped walking. There's some rustling again, and then a flashlight cuts through the darkness.

"Who-who's there?" the person asked.

I held my breath, afraid the person might hear my breathing.

"That's weird. I thought I saw someone in here," the person said.

He starts walking again, circling the trees. I thought about running away, but that's too late. If I stay, I'm going to get caught. If I sneaked out, I'm also getting caught. Guess I have to face a penalty no matter what.

I peeked at him at the same time he flashed his flashlight in my direction. We both freaked each other out. It's not a patrol guard, after all.

"Wait, what? Jane?" he asked, confused.

I revealed myself and took a quick look at him. My eyes widened. Oh my, how unfortunate!

"Drew?" I asked with a frown.

"Geez, you scared me to death," Drew told me in a low voice. He looked sleepless, like me. He was holding his phone in his right hand and something in his left.

I just looked at him, unable to formulate something to say. Drew! Of all people! We haven't been talking for the last two years.

"What are you doing here, by the way?" he whispered as he remained to where he was standing.

I mentally shook myself back to reality. Well, now is not the time to act soft and stupid. I said quietly," None of your business." And with that, I turned back to him and started to climb up the treehouse.

"Oh."

I thought he would leave then but no. He asked, "What are you going to do up there?"

"None of you biz, too," I answered.

"Really, Jane?" he asked sarcastically.

I reached the top and went inside the treehouse. "Why? Are you curious about me now? That's odd."

"Come on, what's you're problem now?" he asked, a bit stressed.

"I'm pretty sure you know what the problem is here, Drew," I said glumly.

He didn't answer after that. I heard him walked away, just like he always does. I shook my head, unamused of my encounter with Drew. My eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness. There's nothing inside. People just went in here with friends to talk privately or spy on people below. The morning breeze greeted me with a hug as I walk near the open window. I don't feel restless anymore. I'm as wide awake as the star-lit sky above.

I heard someone entered the treehouse. It was Drew. Why so he never left?

"What are you doing here?" I asked him right away.

"I'm pretty sure you know why I'm here, Jane," he answered, imitating what I said three minutes ago.

I rolled my eyes though I know it's impossible for him to see it. I looked out the window and watched the stars in the sky. He stood right next to me. Near enough so that I can smell his familiar scent. Nostalgia flooded me over.

I suddenly became too aware of our breathing. I took a deep breath as Drew exhaled.

"Well, this is awkward," I blurted out.

"Yeah," Drew mumbled.

I bit my lower lip as the silence went on. I was not ready for this.

"I'm sorry," he said so suddenly, I was startled a bit.

I laughed. "Wow." I can't believe he said that.

He looked at me, so I looked at him back. "Truly, Jane. I'm sorry for what I did to you. That was so heartless. I didn't know what I was thinking. But believe me, I regret it every day for the last two years."

I looked at him intently, trying to figure out whether he was lying or not. He used to say this before. He would say sorry, and then, in the end, it turns out that he is not.

Seeing him face to face after two years, I can't help noticing how much he changed. He isn't the same boy I loved before. He grew up a lot. I'm surprised, too, at how much his voice changed. He was tallish, but he towers over me now. He was like Drew, but not quite as I knew him before.

Drew and I grew up together. Though we don't live in the same neighborhood, we managed to get clear communication. We are also schoolmates. And I know best friends don't always fall for each other, but we did. It's hard not to. I'm always with him, knows all his darkest, daring secrets, we vibe, and I know everything about him. He used to be the sweetest and most caring person ever until he isn't anymore. We were together for the whole year of grade 9 and grade 10. We broke up the summer before grade 11. We were happy, and then suddenly, it felt like we aren't on the same page anymore. He became unpredictable. It's always me, hanging on his words. I don't understand if he loved me, hated me, or wanted me. And we would always fight, endlessly, over one of our friends. I noticed their interactions are getting frequent. I tried to ignore it, though. But it's getting weirder. I confronted him, and he said she was just a friend. I believed him. My hopelessly devoted 16-year-old self always believes him. But he continued acting weird until I can't take it anymore. I called it quits. He agreed and said he was tired of me, anyway. He can't stand my nagging anymore. Like what? Two weeks later, he started dating the girl I mentioned and is flaunting her to everyone. It broke me twice as much, you know. Not only I lost a boyfriend. I also lost my best friend. We have avoided each other since and became part of different circles. And trivia, he's still dating her. And another trivia, I don't love him anymore.

"Well, you don't look like it," I told him. I never, not even once, seen him look at me like he regretted anything at all.

"I always wanted to talk to you. But you looked like you're okay, and I don't want to ruin it."

"I can't believe you just said that," I said as I looked out the window, suppressing my irritation. "Just because I'm happy doesn't mean I don't need to hear you are sorry anymore. I waited for you to come around. But you never did. Do you have any idea how you made me feel? You made me feel worthless! I was always there for you. I loved you then, even though I can't feel your love anymore.

"And then, two weeks! Gosh, two weeks! After we broke up, you immediately dated her, the girl of my doubts. My place became her place. My spot became her spot. It used to be me, and then it was her right away! I've asked myself many times if you loved me or you just loved my presence. Because after you got tired of me, you erased me in your life entirely. It made me feel irrelevant. It felt like even the years of friendship we had don't mean anything to you. I used to hate you so much! How could you be happy while I'm miserable?"

Drew touched my arm, so I looked at him. "I can't believe we ended up like this."

"I was childish before. I never really cared if I hurt anybody. I took you and our friendship for granted. I'm sorry, Jane. I am really sorry," he said with sincerity. I saw it in his eyes before, so I knew. "If you want, I'll explain everything to you."

Standing next to him, and having the conversation I always wanted to have, all my hatred melted. I always imagined myself crying and thrashing in front of him, but I was calm. I guess I just wanted to voice out everything I wanted to say to him.

I shook my head no. "It's okay. I don't want to know anymore. You've missed that chance a long time ago."

I looked up at the sky. He looked up too. "I'm sorry, again. I should've talked to you back when you were trying to talk to me. I admit that was such a jerk move."

"Glad you know."

We were silent for a while. It felt okay. I'm contented. We weren't technically friends again but at least, we have finally said everything that needs to be said. The friendship we had before was long gone, and I don't think it will bloom again soon. But we can try to work it out, right?

"So will you tell now what you are doing here?" Drew asked, leaning against the side of the window.

"Nothing. I just can't sleep," I answered.

"And why is that?"

I hesitated. But he gave me an encouraging smile. "I have a lot in my mind."

He nodded his head. "Like? Come on, tell me, I might help."

I shook my head. "You'll never understand."

He faked a cough," For your information, I was your best friend before you know… what happened."

I arched my brow and smiled. We spend the next hour talking about it and catching up with each other.

"How about you, what are you doing out here, too?" I asked him.

He scratched the back of his head. "I was just-I was just hiding something for Hannah."

I smiled and looked at him teasingly. "What something?"

He blushed and told me what he did. "Gosh, that is so romantic. I'm sure she'll love it."

The night ended, and the sun started to rise. I was always mesmerized by the way the sun rises. The start of the day. It symbolizes new beginnings. The first streaks of sunlight were starting to hit the trees. I looked at Drew and knew our time was up. We ended the day as strangers and ended the night with a sincere talk. And now, as we climbed down the treehouse, and as stepped out into the sun rise, I knew we were up to something new.