A Defeat of the Heart

"It doesn't count if you're already planning your defeat." Harry started, staring at her lips as he said this. He was unreasonably drawn to them. Did she get them done or were they always that appealing? He hoped they were natural-- not that it would really matter-- but natural was better. They were natural, he was sure. He only met her briefly, but knew enough to know she was not fake, which he liked. That was rare in his world these days.

He also was staring at her lips because her eyes were uncomfortably looking down at her feet. Why was she doing this?

"What do you mean? I am not defeating myself." Caroline whispered, scared to meet his eyes because he was right, though she wouldn't admit it.

He moved his eyes up from her lips, trying to fight a glance with her gorgeous, green ones. He stepped closer to her and calmly put his hand under her chin. A shiver ran down his spine as his hand touched her tan skin. Did she feel the same?

He slowly pulled her chin up and as her eyes finally matched his, Harry couldn't help but smile. If he didn't know himself better, he knew his eyes were probably as dilated as if he had just got an eye exam. He was oddly very drawn to her, and not because of their different life styles, but because she was unlike any other girl he had ever met.

"Caroline."

"What?"

"I am not saying you are defeating yourself. It would be a defeat of the heart to not let yourself feel. If you are feeling anything at all that is."

"Oh I feel." Caroline said quickly. He felt her chest rise as if taking in a deep breathe, and slowly exhaled. He waited for her to continue.

"I just don't see how this is going to work, and I have had too much heartache already that I don't know if I can go through it again." She truthfully admitted, and felt her eyes widen at the thought she was able to be so vulnerable. See, this was why she was scared. It was the first time she was around someone who made her feel so open and willing to express her true self, and yet, she was flying out tomorrow. What more could come from this?

Her back was against his black SUV, and she felt the cool sensation of it through even the oversized jean jacket she had on that he let her borrow. The night air was crisp, but a breeze came through just consistent enough to keep some goose bumps on her skin. Or was it him? Where his smooth hand had just touched her chin, a lingering feeling of warmth stayed. Oh how much she felt. He smiled wider.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked, attracted by his smile in more ways than one but also not seeing how this was the appropriate time to be doing such.

"Because it is better to be fighting with your feelings than accepting one or the other." He said, and she raised an eyebrow.

"It means I still have a chance to convince you this could work. It would only be pointless if you already made up your mind, but I can see you haven't."

"How so?"

"You are still here, when you said earlier you thought this was a bad idea." Her stomach dropped. He was very intuitive, but honest.

"Okay, fair." She had to smile at this. Why couldn't she just let herself be? Why was she always guarding herself. His body was pressed against hers now, and she felt her own warm up from head to toe. The jacket was getting a little warm now, despite the low temperature outside.

"I don't know who hurt you or why your guard is up so heavily, but I want you to know that you no longer need to feel that way. Not around me anyway. I can tell you are a planner. You plan your future, and every step of the way. And that is okay, it is good to have a plan. But sometimes if you plan too much and things don't go the way you plan, you end up only planning your defeat. That was what I meant earlier. I would never say you are defeating yourself, and you should never think that way, because the fact that you still plan even if things don't go your way means you are atleast trying. And that is all that matters." Harrys words just flowed, with that deep accent, and Caroline was drawn in. Mesmerized if you will at the smoothness, confidence and truth behind every word.

It was clear he was who she was missing in her life. This guy, who she had known for only a few hours, was the missing piece to not only her life dreams, but her hearts healing. So why couldn't she just accept it and let it happen. Well, maybe-- as she commonly argued inside her head like this-- because they were from different worlds. He was a somebody and she was a commoner. He influenced the world and she sat behind a desk. He lived between Los Angeles and New York, and she lived in urban city Dallas. How were those two worlds meshible?

"So how can I plan with you, if my plans never seem to work out?" Caroline asked, truly asking from the depth of her heart, hoping for the perfect answer. There was so much more she wanted to say, so many questions to ask coming from her world wind of a mind where thoughts ran a million miles a second, but she was trying to let someone else take the reigns for once. Not tell her what to do in a dominant, overbearing way, but a trusting, and gut reacting option of hers that she rarely ever felt. She waited, and their eyes met again a she looked up, noticing the last minute she had been looking at his chest. His arms were on her hips now, his fingers slightly pressing down on her hip bones. She felt every finger upon them. Oh, how she was conflicted. His eyes were beautiful. Green, piercing and staring into her soul. She felt confident around him, surprisingly, knowing he liked her. And out of all that has happened in her life, that was something she was sure of. She could feel it, despite their newly found connection. Well, that's a start.

Harry tightened his grip around her sides, as if with excitement and his smile grew wider.

"Oh babe, I got this. Let me plan and let me into your heart, and I promise there will be no defeat. Let me be there for you, let me love you if love comes to show, and let have that chance of a lifetime. You say you have tried to love, but like I said, it doesn't count if you already planning your defeat. So don't. Don't plan, unless it is WITH me. Don't accept any defeat unless WE decided it equally. I don't care how long I have known you, all I care is that I am ready for you; for us and for this to be something. I got this. I promise you that."