My miracle

I love animals. They're all special and unique, not to mention cute! While all animals are awesome, I especially love dogs. Not just any dog, my dog. My beautiful puppy is an eight-year-old English Mastiff, and yes, I realize I said puppy while she's been a full-grown dog for the past six years. Nevertheless, she'll always be a cute, tiny puppy to me, even though she was never technically tiny.

Now, this is just an overview of my beloved Bella. A string of words that are pulled together, hoping that they make some sense. I wish I could properly express how much this dog means to me, but words can never truly embody the way Bella has changed my life.

I've always wanted a dog. Since I could remember, I’d beg my parents every day for one. Thankfully my dad and younger siblings wanted a dog as well. I will never forget the day we went to the home where Bella was. We found a family who’s English Mastiffs’ had puppies that they were giving up for adoption. I remember walking up to the driveway, looking at these big puppies, all wagging their tails and trying to get a better look at us. My siblings and I played with the puppies for hours. It wasn’t until my dad picked up Bella and she rested her head on his shoulder, that we knew she was the dog for us.

I never knew what was missing until Bella walked into our home. She changed my life. I became more confident in myself, happier, and whole. Even though she may bark at us once we sit down, or she smells and desperately needs her teeth brushed, or the fact that she slobbers 24/7, I wouldn’t want any other dog. She is there when I need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to tell all my secrets too. I can honestly say that she is my best friend. My camera roll is filled with pictures with Bella and my Instagram isn’t any different. I most likely annoy people with all the pictures of her. 

Recently, I’ve realized how old she has gotten and how much her arthritis is hurting her. She shakes as she sits down and strugglings to stand back up. It scares me how close I may be to losing the best part of me. She has changed my life in all the best ways and I don’t want to give her up, I can’t give her up. These thoughts really hit me when a couple of weeks ago, one of my friends called me saying that her dog had died. Her dog had a couple of rough last days, being as old as he was. When I heard the news I rushed to her house with a plate of cookies and some books. Immediately after I get home, I break into silent tears and hug Bella tight, hoping no one would notice how scared I was to let go. 

I tend to try to distract myself about this terrifying thought, with noticing how much energy she still has and that she stills loves to play and take walks. My favorite thing is when her ears perk up and she cocked her head when you call her name. My heart melts because for a moment, she looks like a puppy, even with the gray around her muzzle, and I can keep that image in my mind forever. I may be a bit biased, but she is definitely the cutest, friendliest, and the most loving dog out there. 

I cannot imagine my life without my best friend. I moved the summer before my freshman year and I was terrified. Starting over that late in the game is not the best thing to ever happen to me. Before school would start, I’d stay inside all day watching TV and snuggling with Bella, trying to ignore the fact that all my friends were miles away. Because of Bella, I was able to cope. She helped me calm down, she comforted me, and she never left me. I still turn to her for comfort, and I will never stop. I know that she is aware of my feelings. She knows when I want a hug, want to play, or when I’m happy or sad. Bella automatically brightens up my day, I can’t look at her without smiling. 

The thing I admire most about my furry friend is her love. She loves everyone and everything. She’s just a big walking ball of love, ready to share it with the world. We truly don’t deserve dogs. If everyone in the world was half as loving as dogs, the world would be a better place. 

I can recall every night when I’d be lying in bed and I can hear her walking up the stairs. Before she’d lay down in her bed outside my bedroom door, Bella will poke her head into every bedroom, checking to make sure we were in bed. Her snoring throughout the night makes me feel safe and protected

I may never be ready to let go, and that’s the thing about life, you lose things and you gain things. I have a complex relationship with change. I’m pretty flexible and can mold into change easily, but I don’t like it. I’d rather stay in the same old same old for my whole life. Throughout all the crazy changes in my life, Bella has always been that one constant. She’s the same forever and always, there to make me happy and there to make me comfortable in every situation. 

While the future is fuzzy, I will always look forward to every adventure, every game of tug-of-war, and every happy news that I will share with her. Some people may think this is silly, She’s just a dog, right? Wrong. She is so much more than that. She is my playmate, my snuggle bunny, my greatest confidant, and most importantly, a ginormous part of my life. She is one of the biggest miracles that I have been blessed with and I thank God every day for her. Without her, I would lose a part of myself.