That’s the thing about this city

That’s the thing about this city, you never know when it’s going to happen.

It’s annoying to know something’s going to happen to you but you never know when. My dad says, for him, it was when he was 18 and my neighbour, when he was 17. It all depends on how strong your self control is but no one has ever resisted yet. 

I’m 13 years old and I live in Laval, Canada, small city in my opinion. Nothing big has ever happened here before, just the usual, sometimes teens want attention but the police takes that down real quick. 

My family is normally very calm and healthy. I have an older brother, Matt, then there’s me, Alex, and a younger sister, Aisha. I was pretty close with my brother since we’re only 2 years apart, but he moved away for cegep this year. I wasn’t sad or anything at the time but now it hits me which I didn’t think it would because at the time, I wasn’t as close with him. Now, every time he comes to visit, I’m excited to see him. With my sister I’m more distant because I don’t really know what to talk about with her. It’s always “girl stuff” going on with her, that’s why she has mom. 

I go to a private school, very well seen in my province. Kids there look very well educated, but once you get to know them, you can see they’re just the same as all the others: normal humans. I used to be a lonely kid but I feel different this year. I don’t know if it’s because I physically look better or just because I’m more social.

The first day of school, I was late. I couldn’t find my class because it was the only class not in the same part as all the others. I got detention, my first time getting one. My teacher was honestly the worse I could’ve asked for. Music teacher. Ew. 

As the weeks went by, I got used to school again but I still didn’t like my music teacher. Plus, there was this girl, she was cute but I didn’t think much of her, I couldn’t even remember her name. Weird name she had, if I’m being honest. 

One day, she texted me on instagram, she sent me a French homework that was due for that week. Why would she do that? In any case, it was very nice of her because I was horrible in French. I thanked her and the next day at school I saw her, but I saw her differently now, like if I was attracted to her a bit. Oh and now I could know what her name was since it was written on her instagram page: Ella, that was her name. 

The next few days, we started texting more and more. I invited her to an after school thing in math so she could help me. In reality i just wanted to get to know her better. She was a nice girl. 

We had a friend in coming, her name was Selena. One day, she came and asked me if I liked a girl and if so, who was it. I didn’t want to tell her at first but then she just made me say it. As soon as I said Ella’s name, she started screaming. “Oh my! You should definitely ask her on a date! She likes you too!” Then she went running to Ella and that’s when I saw her face bright up. I could tell she like me too.

After class I asked her out and there we were, the beginning of a roller coaster. 

I had a group of friends: two of my best friends and three other girls. Zack and Jayden, my two best friends, and Maya, Talia and Sarah, the three other girls. I used to have a crush on Talia but that was last year and a bit in the beginning of this school year. She was very flirty with me but when I asked her out she was like “Ew no, were just friends” so we just stayed friends. 

When I started dating Ella, Talia got very jealous. She started flirting with me again, which I liked because it made me feel special having girls’ attention even though I was with Ella. 

As months went by, I felt like being with Ella started to get boring. Plus, I had Talia’s attention. I couldn’t do anything about it since I was with my girlfriend but it was so tempting. Talia would always be touchy and would like me touching her hair. I started being distant with Ella until one day she texted me. 

“What’s wrong Alex, I feel like we’re not good.” She’d texted me that. For a moment, I felt bad but then, when I thought about it, I didn’t feel anything for her anymore. 

“We need to talk. Go see me at my locker tomorrow morning.”

The next day, she came to my locker, she didn’t look as happy as usual. She still had her daily smile. “We need a break. It’s just that I have to figure out my feelings.” I knew I hurt her but the only thing that went through my mind is that I could finally be free. “Yeah, I figured you would say that. It’s okay, I just don’t want to be on bad terms with you. Are we good?” She was being very sweet and I couldn’t understand why. “Yeah, for sure we are. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” Then she left. I could tell she was about to tear up but I think she didn’t want to do it in front of me.

I was finally free, I could do whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted while “I figured out my feelings”. The thing is, I already knew how I felt: I didn’t love her anymore, I just didn’t know how to tell her. 

The next day, she approached me and told me “I think we should just end it here. Let’s just get it over with.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, don’t make me change my mind.” “Okay, but I don’t want you to cry. “I won’t.” And that’s how it all ended. I could finally go see Talia and ask her out again. Maybe she would accept now. 

“Talia, can I talk to you?” I asked her as we were going down the stairs. “Yes, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t tell if she was worried or she was just curious of what I was about to tell her. “Do you want to go on a date?” I saw her face change instantly to a disgusted face. “Alex, I really don’t know what’s going through your head right now, but we’re just friends. Just know I would never date you, I don’t like you.” “Oh, that’s okay. I just thought....” “You thought nothing, were nothing but friends. Ew, you’re so disgusting.”

In that moment, I realized I had made a fool of myself. I had Ella go when she actually cared about me for this girl. He could I even had thought about that. I felt so dumb. 

Two months went by and I had to see her every day since she was in my class. One day, I saw her with another guy, he wasn’t in our class but I knew they had something between them. Naturally, I got jealous. I had to win her back. 

“Can we talk?” I went up to her in the hallway when she was alone. “For what?” She said with no care in her eyes. “Please Ella, I miss you.” “No you don’t, you just failed at replacing me. I always knew you had a thing for Talia, but I always refused to admit it to myself.” She was right, but I couldn’t let her believe that. “It’s not like that, I swear...” she didn’t let me talk. “You’re free now, after all, that’s what you wanted.” She turned around and walked away. 

There it was, it happened to me, 13 years old: my first love in this city.