Of Jasmines and Viridescent

Submitted into Contest #51 in response to: Write a story that begins and ends with someone looking up at the stars.... view prompt

190 comments

Romance

Without my eyewear, the sky above belongs in a museum of modern art right alongside Van Gogh's starry night. The light radiates from every star and my distorted lenses twist it into gleeful patterns. Returning the starry night to constellations of pin-pricks is simple, but my glasses stay right in my pocket while I take in the sky above. The grass on my soles is soft on soft, warm on warm, a gentle tickle as each giving strand forms a cushion of green. Each strand moves in the summer breeze as easily as my hair, the waves and rustling as alive as my steady breaths. Mom? Dad? Why did you have to leave me like that? I say to the stars pretending they are my parents. Tears well up in my eyes as I cry. My chin trembles and my lips quiver.


I hear heavy footsteps approaching me, crunching the leaves beneath. I sit up straight and try to force a smile. "You have been crying again. Haven't you?" I hear a smooth voice. It's none other than Tayler, of course. He lost his parents the same night I did. Since then, he has been my guardian angel. I smile and look into his eerily serene gray eyes that look deep blue in the dark. And, he smiles back.


It had been a chilly December morning when the news arrived. My parents had been killed and nobody seemed interested in telling me that. My relatives had been pretending to be all sweet and condescending up until...until Tayler arrived. "Tess, they...they got killed ." Brutally murdered, he had said. I was five and I didn't know what murdered meant. Not until my parents' corpses were brought in front of me. Not until I was told to bid them farewell. Not until I was told that my parents had gone. Forever!


Tayler and I used to live in the same house. Despite having good family terms, we never interacted much. I minded my own business and he minded his own. I didn't know that he had gray eyes that looked hues of hazel in the afternoon and aquamarine at night. I didn't know that his front tooth was chipped. I didn't know he had a small scar right under his left earlobe, which was both tiny and innocuous. Not until I turned eighteen.


"What are you thinking? Reminiscing about the old times. Eh?" Tayler takes my hand in his and suddenly the air around us grows chill. I shiver and thus, he pulls me closer towards him. What would I have done without him? He looks at me with soft eyes as if sifting through the grains of my thoughts, separating the wheat from the chaff. "I wouldn't live without you. Never," he answers.


Eighteen. I got to know everything about him when I turned eighteen. I got to know that his fringe kept on falling back into his eyes even after tremendous tries. I got to know that he was ambidextrous: was able to write equally well with both of his hands. I got to know that his favorite color was viridescent because it meant life, nature, energy, harmony, growth. Because it meant the color of my eyes. It was on that day he showed me his tattoo. He had a small tattoo that said ‘T' on his right ankle. “For you, " he had said.


I feel a raindrop fall against my skin, followed by several others, but I don't have the heart to go back inside. I move slightly, crossing one leg over the other, leaning back on my palms to observe the remaining constellations uncovered from the clouds. The moon hangs full and hazy beneath an eclipse of blazing stars, allowing me to see Tayler's face, brightly illuminated. Our bodies are a fountain for the incoming rain, the water making my eyelids heavy. I close my eyes, a rattled sigh passing through my parted lips as I do so, causing my breath to fog up in front of me, obscuring my vision, as I take in the feeling of wet, bruised skin.


I feel an insect crawling on my skin. Panicking, I open my droopy eyelids to see Tayler, grinning. He is holding Jasmines in both of his hands. Jasmine, my favorite flower. "C'mon, you loser. You aren't allowed to sleep over here." And, before I can argue he stands up and gets going. Being the lazy brat that I am, I lay still trying very hard to go to sleep.


Tayler and I became best friends in a very short span of time. Wherever we went, we went together. I had no one except for him. He had no one except for me. It had been my twenty-second birthday party when he proposed to me. I hadn't known how to react and so I had burst into tears. Everyone except Tayler had soothed me. Stupid him. Stupid him. Stupid him. Back at our home, he had rolled his eyes at me as if I had spoiled his 'perfect proposal.' I didn't have the courage to face him and so that night I had cried myself to sleep. He still makes fun of me for doing that. Stupid him. Stupid him.


I'm lost in my past when Tayler snaps me back into reality. "Hello, hello! What is happening, Tess?" Sweet, our friends call us. He never calls me Tessa. Never. He wants to pretend that we are the best couple to ever exist. "Can we please go inside now?" He asks and gives a pleading look. I smile and motion for him to sit down. He folds his arms and remains standing firmly at his position, his brows creased with annoyance. He looks cute as a button just like a five-year-old. "Sit down," I say realizing that is the first time I've spoken throughout the night. He turns around and stomps his feet which automatically makes me laugh. I feel relaxed and that makes me realize just another thing: my face is damp. I have (probably) been crying. "Tayler. Come on. Sit down." I pat the grass and move to make some room for him. When he still doesn't listen to me, I grab his arm and pull him down. "Oww…" he mutters.


I lay my head in Tayler's lap while he tells me just how many things he loves about me. I am trying to close my eyes, slowly and slowly, drinking in the night full of stars and the moon which is covered by murky clouds that blend in with the rest of the sky.


July 20, 2020 14:06

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190 comments

05:09 Jul 21, 2020

Beautifully written, I could visualize them out under the stars. I really enjoyed it.

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Batool Hussain
18:18 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you.

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18:25 Jul 21, 2020

😊

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D. Jaymz
02:30 Jul 21, 2020

The writing is fluid like the emotions rolling off the endearing characters. Great work Batool.

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Batool Hussain
18:18 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you;)

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Deborah Angevin
22:42 Jul 20, 2020

Beautifully crafted characters; I loved reading it :)

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Batool Hussain
18:18 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you;)

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Deborah Angevin
09:47 Jul 22, 2020

Hi Batool, would you mind checking my recent story out, "Red, Blue, White"? Thank you!

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Abigail Slimzy
21:52 Jul 20, 2020

I admire your writing a lot. Good👍 it's really nice Batool!

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Batool Hussain
18:18 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks.

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20:32 Jul 20, 2020

Wow, I loved it! The opener is especially hooking! You have an effective way of bringing out emotions using the surroundings. The back story is artfully interwoven without losing the reader. Thank you for the opportunity to read it.

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Batool Hussain
18:19 Jul 21, 2020

This means so much! Thank you.

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Miles Gatling
18:14 Jul 20, 2020

It describes in detail what the characters feel. I had a clear image of what went through their minds. Nice one! The power of love and such.

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Batool Hussain
18:20 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks Miles;)

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Anja Z
18:11 Jul 20, 2020

Beautifull story I felt the character's emotions through every word such beautiful words you use too well done :)

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Batool Hussain
18:21 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you♥

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P. Jean
18:06 Jul 20, 2020

A lovely way to share intimate moments and feelings. You have a gift!

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Batool Hussain
18:21 Jul 21, 2020

This means so much! Thanks;)

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Hi! Out of all of your stories, this is definitely my favorite. I've been reading them but not really commenting or liking (sorry). However, they are great inspiration! One thing I noticed (and so did others in the comments, apparently) is that you used "you've" in sentences like "why did you've to...", which gave the impression of an accent or even a lisp. Great job Batool (I hope it's okay if I call you by your first name), once again, I really enjoyed this story! P.S. Sorry if you didn't find this comment very helpful, just wanted to...

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Batool Hussain
18:21 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks for your true feedback;)

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Lovely story, I came here as fast as possible. 🌹

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Batool Hussain
18:25 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you! This means so much🌹

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You are very welcome!!

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Juliet Martin
16:55 Jul 20, 2020

Sweet story, I really love some of the imagery you use, especially the metaphor of Tessa's thoughts as grains of wheat. Nice development of the relationship throughout

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Batool Hussain
18:22 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you;)

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Charles Stucker
16:30 Jul 20, 2020

This has the right amount of poetry in the prose for literary fiction- which sells as university press sites. The pacing is good and the scene, along with the flashback portions, evocative. You have several places where little edits might be useful "the museum of modern art" could be "a museum of modern art." Try to keep the for a singular place, like "The Boston Museum of Modern art." " while I take the sky above" probably should be "while I take in the sky above" "Why did you've to..." is a nonstandard use of abbreviation- go ahead ...

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Batool Hussain
16:47 Jul 20, 2020

Thanks for your true feedback:)

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Barbara Burgess
15:57 Jul 20, 2020

I love this story and the descriptive words you have used. I was transported to the scene by your words. well done - love it!

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Batool Hussain
18:23 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks, Barbara!

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Amanda W.
14:29 Jul 20, 2020

Wonderful!

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Batool Hussain
18:24 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks

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Samantha Chills
14:28 Jul 20, 2020

Amazing! This has to be my favorite story of yours. So sweet;)

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Batool Hussain
18:24 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks

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Aeliya Hussain
14:27 Jul 20, 2020

Oh My God! This is really, really good;)

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Batool Hussain
18:24 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks

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Gee Here
14:24 Jul 20, 2020

Wow! This is a really beautiful story;)

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Batool Hussain
18:27 Jul 21, 2020

Thanks

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Alex Casner
19:17 Jul 29, 2020

This story is so well written. I love how you give little hints towards a darker underlying theme. It makes the reader engage in the story and make inferences about Tess and Taylers relationship. Loved it! If you had time could you check out my story “Bent Yet Unbroken?” I’m looking for feedback. Overall, great writing.

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Batool Hussain
10:52 Jul 30, 2020

Thank you. And, sure!

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Jen Park
00:49 Jul 21, 2020

Your first sentence have one flaw: It was too beautiful. I mean, I wasn't ready to face such a wonderful description like that! You grabbed my attention right from the beginning. :) I liked the character of Tayler and Tess. The strong bond between them makes me smile, even though this is kind of a sad story. Amazing, Batool! I admire this.

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Batool Hussain
18:18 Jul 21, 2020

This means is much! Thank you.

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Keerththan 😀
07:02 Jul 30, 2020

Loved it. Short and sweet. Well written. Keep writing...

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Batool Hussain
08:43 Jul 30, 2020

Thanks

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