a night spent a-waiting

Sitting across from each other, in a fancy restaurant, they could not look each other in the eye. They just sat there, waiting.

It was their 13th anniversary. 13 years, 2 children, 5 dogs. But they could not smile, as they remained there, waiting. 

They waited as the time slowly passed. But the time did not wait. Slowly but surely it continued to crawl, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour as it had since the very beginning.

As a lawyer, he had written great speeches, relaying them with great conviction. In fact, he was very famous in the courtroom, and people had to pay a lot to hire him. Throughout his career, he had earned the reputation of having enough courage to take on any case. But as he finally mustered the courage to look into her eyes, his ability to speak completely evaded him. He could only sit and wait.

When a waiter came by, asking for their orders, they ignored him, absorbed in each other, as if stuck in a universe of their own. After a minute, in which he asked them quietly and politely four times, asked loudly some more, and finally tapped them on the shoulder, he left. 

She was a social worker, who helped people in need. But this evening she was not at all social, and she was the one in need. But no one came to help her, and if they would have, what could they do? She just continued waiting, slowly, with him.

An hour passed in silence, a silence filled with meaning, a silence full with words unsaid. But the silence was uncomfortable, a silence that felt so wrong, and he could not help wondering how something so non-existing, can hurt so much.

And they continued waiting in silence, together, but alone, as the sun finished his travels and disappeared over the horizon. The moon came out, and the stars began appearing, but that did not move them at all. She thought back to her childhood, a young girl with a happy family, healthy surroundings and never-ending happiness. That girl of the past could not have imagined that she would wait like this. 

A few hours passed, and the restaurant became a bar. Instead of the constant smell of fancy food, a sharp, alcoholic smell filled the air. But they remained there, still sadly waiting. For the first time in her life, she wanted to drink. Drink until the sorrow evaporated along with the silence. But she restrained herself, thinking about how she could not forever run away.

Soon the place filled with people, merry and drunk. They looked at the pair, who remained stuck, waiting, and wondered what they were waiting for. Then, one by one, they shrugged and quickly forgot them. But they could not forget, could not pretend, for this was their life, their marriage, their world.

He remembered the days before the marriage when he was also one of them. partying all night, getting drunk with his friends, forgetting his problems as his time ran away. Better than waiting, he thought, although he did not turn the thought into any sort of action. 

A few more hours passed and she could not get the past out of her head. Most of the people there left, but she could not. Waiting she came for and waiting she would do. 

When would it end? When would she be able to stop waiting? Those thoughts crossed her mind as she stifled a yawn. She was certainly very tired. But she could not sleep- for she was waiting. She looked at the sky. She could tell which star was venus- she had learned from her mother how to find it. She remembered that camping trip, all those years ago, remembered how when she shivered in fear, Her mother took her out of the tent, pointed to the stars above, and taught her the names of the stars, one by one. Then she said, “do you see the brightest one? That is venus” and the fear she felt made the memories strong in her mind. Know, sitting in the restaurant/bar and waiting, she wondered who was lonelier; her or venus?

A drunk man threw up next to them. the bar became quieter, but he could not help thinking about how he would have looked by now if he was not busy waiting. He remembered a time, in the first year of their marriage, when he had come home one day drunk, and she let him in despite that. He remembered how surprised he was; his mother made a habit of locking the door when he would come in. slowly, he sank into thoughts about his mother and her parenting skills. He could never be angry with her really, especially know that he became a parent himself; after all, she never received parental training of any sort, and she really tried her best at all times. He could not say the same for himself. He stopped his train of thought and looked at she who was in front of him. How he wished he’d had the patience to wait more than they agreed. Not like his mother, who had waited throughout his whole childhood to become better. But they had waited enough. 13 years had passed, and still, they were waiting.

Slowly the bar emptied, people going to sleep somewhere else, but that did not deter them; certainly, it was more unnerving, sitting together alone, but they had agreed, and agreements must be kept. And they both knew that it was important: the last chance for it to come. So they waited.

Wait they did, until the sun completed its circle, slowly and surely, condemning their lives. For 13 years they had waited, waited for love and it did not come. Her fears came true and she burst into tears, as her husband broke the silence by just one word, that meant so much.

“divorce” 

And only now, with the night over, he let himself drink until drunk.