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"Just say it," you silently reminded yourself. You knew you'd regret it if you didn't. You sighed and prepared yourself to speak up as you stood in front of the mirror that reflected a wealthy but distraught lady. Sunlight poured on beside the king-sized pearl bed right on your face. You glanced at the highlighter brightening up your face, the mascara covering up the burning eyes and the loose pale blue-lavender blouse with white slender jeans looking odd on your exquisite body. Ahh… such a life! Ups and downs, ups and downs…..


‘Mom!’, she uttered those words out of great stress and curiosity. She was definitely feeling uncomfortable and did not like the sight of you shaking in front of the mirror, like an autumn leaf. You could feel her choked breath as she held your hand, ‘tell me what you want to, mom. Relax’, she glanced at you with her deep leaf-brown eyes, darker than an abandoned well. She was just like you. The saccharine, sweet finally carved lips and the mid-night black curls with a slight shade of stardust golden tumbled over her broad shoulders. Her short bluish -tint polka dot dress with square-cut, shimmery fabric was accessorized with a modern leather belt which she loved wearing in evenings. You cleared your throat and urged yourself to let it go. ‘I am not your..’, you paused to settle down the tornado swirling in your mind, you suddenly changed your decision. No! you could not tell her you’re not the real mom, you could never let her know she was born illegal… deprived. Her past still haunts you, she was too young to be told.

You were brought out of your flashbacks as she pressed your palm and encouraged you to continue, ‘ I am not your..?’, she inquired. you knew there was no turning back so you moved on, ‘ I am not your God’, you made up, ‘ and anything that’s not a god has to come to an end one day, die..’, you got stuck, you didn’t know what to say next. AH! You clung your fists tightly, you never should have called her in your room, you knew she was already very disturbed by your illness, she wasn’t too small not to notice your frequent blood tests and hospital visits. You calmed down your racing heart and ignored the weakness destructing your inside, making you hollow, worthless. You slowly raised your eyes and looked at her face. Astonished, you saw the teardrops trickling down her cheek. She was crying! Trembling, you quickly wiped them off with your dainty fingers. You never wanted her to cry. Did she know it already? You felt your body quiver. ‘ I know mom... I know!’, she started sobbing, moaning in low painful tones. That was it. You didn’t cringe at the sight of that polka dots you hated when she wore then, you didn’t desperately try to tidy up her messy tangled curls into a bun, as usual. You just couldn’t help yourself hugging. Lovingly, you surrounded her with your arms but didn’t dare hush her, you silently brushed off the hair dangling on her bright forehead and gave her a light kiss. No, you didn’t care your lipstick’s gonna ruin up and leave a dark shade on her skin. It was all you could do as a mother.

 ‘I know you have been hiding it for too long, I figured it out mom. I knew it was cancer!’, she finally spoke but with her head low, soaking your hands that held her face. You suddenly let go. It was your turn to cry out loud now, sob and moan… you quickly backed up and stood, your hands pressing the pulsing awful sensation on the side of your head. She was still on her knees, crouched to the floor. You unbelievingly gaped at her, was she true? You felt your brain spin, the sky suddenly fall on you, ‘ Where are the reports?’, you barely managed to say. She was stunned, ‘ you didn’t know?’, she shuddered as she spoke, her pencil-thin eyebrows raised over her wide-set eyes. She shoved her hair strands behind her ears gleaming with diamond studs and quickly got back to her feet, turning towards the door. In a minute, she was back. You could see the storm growing in her eyes, the cheeks burning Venus-red. You tried ignoring the confused expressions and snatched those results out of her hands. You shockingly read out the claim of your cancer to be on its last stage. That was your last hope. You could not hold on anymore. She rushed to catch you as you dropped down to the floor. You saw her running to get you water. You wanted to stop her but you felt too wrecked, destroyed. As you held the glass and touched the cold, transparent surface to your lips weakly, you watched her…her eyes, dreamy like a starry night…But reddened, dark circles beneath. Her lush and curvaceous body, her glowing smooth, blossomy skin all wrenched with sweat and gone pale… tired and distressed. You sighed a sad, long one. You knew it was all your fault, you were to blame. You didn’t remember when was the last time you kissed her goodnight, or laughed and joked with her, ask her about the school, you were too busy with your life revolving around the hospitals and medicines. You failed to be a successful single parent. You knew it’s hard nourishing a kid being both mama and daddy. Difficult but not impossible… you tried boosting up the positivity embedded deep in your soul as you looked at her, mesmerizing as the sunrise. You smiled as the salty water filled up to the brim and then rushed down your ashen cheeks. Gut-wrenching sobs tore through your chest and your chin trembled as she quietly patted you up and lightly called again, ‘ mom’. You wished you would let her know every time she joined up the three alphabets in a connection and uttered the words out of uncontrollable love, she sets your heart on fire, you feel the sensation of burning alive, it’s painful.

You finally decided. Yes, you could not tell

 her mom called you every day and forced to

return her daughter back. She was not normal at all, you knew that. And little Olivia Dankworth will prefer to be thrown off a 100 feet cliff rather than being sent there. No, there was absolutely nothing left to think about cancer then, it had already won. You had no choice but to wait and count the days to your death. You knew you were going to die, soon. Why panic? You tried calming down. You were not going to throw away your daughter into the hands of a beast, she was just twelve. You would fight her mom who drinks and smokes all night, you took her in your arms when she was just one and owed staring deep into the innocent eyes, as serene as the morning dew, that you would never leave her alone. You reminded yourself, again and again, that it was no use thinking of cancer, you had a daughter to look after.

But what was happening now? You were dying. Just one choice left, the last you ever thought. You couldn’t turn your back and hand over the kid to her torturing mom who was a crazy maniac, who loved child screams. What about his Dad? You didn’t know him, neither did he. You had no friends, no trustworthy people, no cousins, no family. Who becomes a friend with a rich lady? Ha! everyone. And what are those friends like? Well, several harsh words pop up in your mind whenever you think of them. Hungry for money, jealous and greedy… Killing snakes. Yes, the only way left was to snatch the gifted life of hers and send her far away, heaven. Where you were going to, peaceful and harm-free zone, no worries at all. You might kill her someday, you knew there was no way out, you would regret if you didn’t.

Sometimes…….

 death seems a blessing.

June 24, 2020 08:12

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43 comments

Zoha Tariq
16:03 Jun 27, 2020

EPIC!! Such an amazingly crafted written piece. More power to you Fatima! Loved reading it❤️

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Syeda Fatima
16:15 Jun 27, 2020

Amen, 💕

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Hilter Abdullah
06:40 Jul 13, 2020

good story. keep it up!👌

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Matt Strempel
03:35 Jul 06, 2020

Hey, Syeda. I've been sent here via the Critique Circle, so here's my critique. Please don't take this criticism as anything but constructive advice. I have always found people identifying problems in my stories to be far more helpful than comments that simply say 'Great job! Please read my story' and offer no actual feedback. So, with that in mind, here are some comments I hope will help: - Firstly, what a sad story! I love the idea for this and can only imagine the pain the woman is going through. - Only include what description is n...

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Syeda Fatima
00:08 Jul 11, 2020

thank you, Matt I am glad I finally found a critical reviewer. would love it if you help me out in other stories too... After all, I am just a beginner and I know, I am not good in avoiding cliches at all. So these comments help out a lot.

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Nancy Drayce
18:45 Jul 04, 2020

The way you were describing her was... little to say AMAZING. Great job! Your descriptions are breathtaking. Truly amazed! ♥

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Syeda Fatima
23:55 Jul 10, 2020

bundles of thanks for such an encouragement💗

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Batool Hussain
14:42 Jul 04, 2020

A wonderful story👍👍

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Syeda Fatima
00:09 Jul 11, 2020

thank you💖

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Roshna Rusiniya
12:31 Jul 04, 2020

This is a very touching story! Great descriptions too. Really enjoyed reading it. Well done Syeda!

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Syeda Fatima
00:10 Jul 11, 2020

I am happy you enjoyed it, thanks❤

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Roshna Rusiniya
03:59 Jul 11, 2020

You are very welcome! Would you mind taking a look at mine too? Thank! :)

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Syeda Fatima
11:38 Jul 12, 2020

Sure.

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Sierra Butler
14:22 Jun 30, 2020

Wow. That was such a powerful and bittersweet story. Good job!!

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Syeda Fatima
11:17 Jul 01, 2020

Thanks...💗

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Kosar Sadiq
10:45 Jun 28, 2020

ماشاءاللہ

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Syeda Fatima
08:36 Jul 16, 2020

💗

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08:52 Jun 28, 2020

Very good attempt, dear fatima! Why don't the cancerous mom thought of Leaving the poor girl alive in Allah's hands.? Death is a solution only when natural!

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Syeda Fatima
14:01 Jun 29, 2020

yes, you are absolutely right but the point is that I was actually trying to describe the western society that sometimes gets worthless and people think as if they are still the happiest persons on earth. you know, money is never the road to happiness.

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Fiza Rizwan
07:34 Jun 28, 2020

Amazing story 🌋 Just wow !! Fatima keep up the good work.

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Syeda Fatima
12:29 Jul 04, 2020

thanks...❤

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Sadia Sadiq
06:36 Jun 28, 2020

Masha Allah fatima . May Allah bless more bounties upon you.👏

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Syeda Fatima
01:27 Jul 13, 2020

Amen💙

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Insha Tahir
17:03 Jun 27, 2020

Truly brilliant... Keep it up dear 🤗

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Syeda Fatima
14:04 Jun 29, 2020

💛

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Abdullah Zeeshan
16:51 Jun 27, 2020

Nice story, good theme, kept me occupied till the end

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Syeda Fatima
01:27 Jul 13, 2020

thanks!

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15:49 Jun 27, 2020

Excellent read. I hope some day you will write complete books and follow the writing tradition of your great grandfather.

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Syeda Fatima
16:12 Jun 27, 2020

Insha Allah

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Abdullah Zeeshan
14:29 Jun 27, 2020

Wow! AMAZING!!!! I am glad you submitted here, nope. don't find any ending perfect than this

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Abdullah Zeeshan
14:14 Jun 27, 2020

WOW! amazing , so deep... I am glad it approved .

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Syeda Fatima
01:28 Jul 13, 2020

thank you.

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Zeeshan Akhtar
13:39 Jun 27, 2020

Masha Allah , good effort such an epic theme mashup. keep it up.

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Syeda Fatima
01:29 Jul 13, 2020

😇

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Syeda Fatima
13:17 Jun 27, 2020

HI THERE, hope you liked this story, make sure to let me know in the comments if you think there is still a way out to the ending... keep connected...

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11:39 Feb 11, 2021

wonderfull

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Ibraheem Zeeshan
15:25 Dec 31, 2020

EPIC!! Such an amazingly crafted written piece. More power to you Fatima! Loved reading it❤️

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