Tooth Hurty 🦷🪥👽

“Keith, you’ve done well so far by coming into the building this time, staying in the waiting room and now you’ve sat in the chair for longer than ten seconds but please keep your mouth open wide.

“Please try not to talk, you’re spitting into my face and I can’t understand you because your mouth is wide open and I’m trying to inspect your teeth.

“You’ve been so brave so far Keith but now I need to numb your mouth so we can start the first filling. 

“Please stop shouting! Are you crying? Come on, calm down Keith!

“Keith, listen to me! If you don’t stop wriggling I will have no choice but to CUT OFF YOUR TONGUE!

“Sorry Keith, it was silly of me to joke like that. No I still can’t understand you as the clamp on your tooth is in the way. Okay, one last try… here comes a tiny tiny ickle injection to numb the tooth. There we OOOOOOOFFFFF!”

Keith pushed the dentist out of the way and leapt out of the chair. Turning to face his oral enemy he could see that Mr Gok had a syringe stuck in his arm. Keith pointed at his failed injection dangling from the dentist.

“Igg Schweeally Wollrrry!”

Mr Gok who was slowly losing the feeling in his left leg rolled his eyes.

“Keith for the last time, I cannot understand you with the clamp in your mouth!”

Nodding profusely Keith grabbed the metal device hanging out of his face and slowly unscrewed the clamp and let it drop out of his mouth followed by a shower of saliva. He tried again.

“I’m really sorry Mr Gok. I hate it so much. One day I’ll do it but..”

“Keith, it’s been ten years of trying to give you this filling and now you have plenty more to keep it company. If only you’d stay in the chair long enough I’d have fixed it!”

“Will your leg be okay?” asked Keith looking at the pointy end of the syringe twanging from left to right.

Mr Gok looked down at his numb appendage. It had already reached a stage where it was struggling to sustain his weight. Hopping to a nearby chair he let out a sigh.

“I’ll have to cancel the rest of my appointments today but should be fine this evening. That’ll teach me for upping your dose!”

Keith sighed, put on his coat and walked sheepishly out the door whilst Vera the dental nurse pulled the syringe out of Mr Gok’s leg. He let out a small whimper, he was clearly made of stronger stuff than Keith.

Paying for yet another dental appointment where nothing was done was such a depressing and all too common occurrence for Keith. At least this was the first time in the last five appointments where he got into the actual surgery. He’d never been able to pinpoint when his fear of dentists began but at the age of 25 it had become part of who he was, for better or worse. 

Quietly contemplating the benefits of a general anaesthetic and whether he should try it, Keith walked slowly down the steps of the surgery into the busy street and the sounds of the mid afternoon city traffic. He was in his own world enjoying the relief from avoiding dentistry once again when the nearby screams brought him back into reality. His head shot to the right to see a woman running in Keith’s direction away from something.

“HELP! HE’S AFTER ME!!” she screamed at a bewildered Keith. The woman clung to Keith for dear life as the sound of the person chasing her could be heard. The long scraping noise of someone dragging their feet along the pavement was clear to Keith. He’d spent a lot of his teens perfecting the art of the foot drag to his parent’s disappointment. Sadly the person dragging their feet this time was a middle aged man wearing a long white jacket, black trousers and shoes, with a name tag saying “Dr Scott” and bright red eyes transfixed on Keith and the woman currently attached to him like a limpet.

“AGGGHH! He’s going to kill me!” declared the woman desperately to Keith. The level of stress was too much for him, he began to do what he always does when he’s stressed… snigger.

“Kill you? Well we’ve all thought that at one time or another but I’m sure he’s a nice dentist really. Although I can’t say much I’ve just come from SHIIIIIT WHAT ARE YOU CHUFFIN DOING, MATE?”

The dentist grabbed the woman, lifting her over his head sideways mumbling the following words.

“Time for your treatment.”

Continuing to dangle the screaming woman over his head, the dentist began to pull her head and feet in opposite directions. In the space of ten seconds her neck and legs has almost doubled in length with a series of unpleasant cracks and squelches. The woman wasn’t screaming anymore and that became permanent when the deadly dentist ripped her legs and head clean from her body in an explosion of blood and limbs.

Keith froze to the spot watching this horror show unfold in front of him. Flinging the dead woman’s body parts onto the floor, Dr Scott looked at his handy-work whilst scraping the gunk from his hands.

“That concludes your treatment. Next patient please!” The flame eyed dentist stared straight at Keith getting ready to pounce.

In the 30 seconds since Keith witnessed this woman’s last moments on the planet something had changed inside him. The fear he had for the situation and also dentists in general had been replaced by something else. He wasn’t sure what it was but he knew he had to fight back. It was between Keith and the dentist and only one of them would walk away.

Staring down at the dentist’s jacket Keith saw something familiar and glistening in one of the pockets. Before his new found bravery ran away and his adversary jumped into kill mode, Keith grabbed Dr Scott’s white jacket and pulled it over his head. Putting his hand in the dentist’s jacket pocket, Keith grabbed the shiny implement and slammed the stolen syringe into the side of the dentist’s face through the jacket covering his head. This made little impact, Keith backed off whilst the dentist ripped the syringe out of his face and took off his white jacket. Dr Scott didn’t wait for the jacket to hit the pavement and lunged forwards to grab Keith and give him a similar blood soaked treatment to that of his last victim. Jumping backwards, Keith looked around for more weapons to help him. The bleeding dentist lunged again and this time he gripped Keith’s arm causing it to crack slightly. Grabbing a nearby traffic cone Keith slammed it down hard over the deadly dentist’s face and pulled it as far down as possible. Taking some steps backward Keith could hear the echoey grumbling from his opponent but he ignored it as he drop kicked the side of the traffic cone, sending the trapped dentist staggering off the pavement into the road and the speeding traffic. The sounds of the horns and cars around him told the dentist he was on borrowed time. Desperately trying to wrestle the cone off his head the deadly dentist finally managed it, only to meet a car bonnet head on, causing his body to explode in a sea of green and blue blood. 

Keith wanted to throw up on seeing the shocking inhuman insides of this crazed surgeon but his eyes had already drifted up to the skies to see the latest insane development. Blinking repeatedly trying to comprehend what he was seeing Keith’s mouth grew wider and wider until it was practically on the floor. His brain was struggling to compute but his eyes understood it instantly, hovering thousands of feet in the sky over the city was a giant floating tooth. Before Keith could fully restore his jaw to normal a voice bellowed from inside the hovering enamel.

“People of Earth, you’ve been ruining your teeth for far too long and the time has come to punish you all. Prepare to be destroyed!”

The rage inside Keith was overflowing, his hatred for dentists was bad but his new found despise for alien dentists was off the scale. Above the bubbling lava inside his head a beep could be heard from the pavement. Looking down at the ground Keith saw the deadly dentist’s white jacket and Dr Scott’s name tag was beeping loudly. Picking up the jacket, Keith immediately put it on over his coat and saw the red flash on the name tag was actually a button. Pressing it firmly the red light disappeared and a voice leapt from the tag.

“Please report! Are you ready to return to base?”

Thinking for a few moments Keith knew he needed to do something even if it meant facing his lifelong fear of dentists. Maybe all those years where he couldn’t go through with that filling was building to this moment. Or maybe it’s just a massive coincidence and he should hide in his flat like he always does? No, he thought, this was different. Looking across the road he saw more deadly dentists were terrorising nearby pedestrians. This was really happening. Pressing the button firmly he responded.

“Yes, mission complete. Ready to return to base.”

Moments passed with no response and Keith only had the noise of nearby alien dentists carrying out extreme and life-ending treatments. Suddenly the tag on the white jacket began to beep once more but this time it was accompanied by a blue beam of light that surrounded Keith, sending him flying into the air headed into the direction of the floating tooth.