Odd Girl Out

It was after our sports game in our school field that I learned I was grossly misinformed about the girl. It wasn't the thought on my mind at the moment, just the sweat peeling down my face into my eyes. I took my towel and wiped the drops away from my face and through my red hair. As the towel wiped the remains of perspiration, I looked dup to the sun that existed 10 minutes ago and now was faded. I breathed a large sigh; we won again.

Shoveling my clothes and cleats into the duffel bag, I glanced over my should watching the other team packing their bags with forcible acceptance. It was our 3rd game we'd won against them, but it was a close 5:4. I usually played offender only this time I was moved to defense in favor of giving new teammates a chance. 

Katelyn said it was a risky move on Coach's part, especially at the start of mid-season. As team Captain, I was inclined to believe her, but Coach said that these new players were from Eclipse Select, but our confidence was still wobbling. It worked though, didn't it. 

"Hey, Taylor you coming to the party for juniors?" she asked rhetorically, since she already knew my answer.

"Uh yes, you asked me at the after of school earlier. Don't worry, everyone will be there, including Johnny." She rolled her eyes at my prying comment, but she knew I was joking. She made no secret of her relationship that started during the fall; they were all over each other. I for one didn't know why she fell for a guy with long hair in her Physics class, but I was not one to judge; I was one to advise and enjoy.

I jogged up the 20 row field stands that bordered the field to the parking lot for my ride that awaited. Katelyn and the others ran to theirs after directing the rest of us to the grey clouds assembling overhead. I pulled out my phone while making like Rocky up the stairs: 6:02. Mom should be here. She wasn't. Something else was. 

Her name was Sadie, and I wasn't sure why I was observing her so much. Maybe it was her denim blue jacket that sported purple and red stripes, or maybe her countenance that would give even the most emotionally inept the idea that she felt upset. She was unlatching the lock on her bicycle when I got to my up the stairs. She was one of the new players who wasn't super large, but obviously had been playing as long as I had, because she stole the ball from the opposing team offenders almost every time. Whether a new member was great or good, it was my responsibility to make them feel welcomed. 

Since my ride was nowhere to be seen, I walked over to her. "This was fun." She didn't look up, "You got a ride?" 

"No." she said softly keeping her head down and throwing a backpack that seemed a mildly oversized over her shoulders. I couldn't understand what she seemed forlorn about, other than the the inevitable sprinkles and storm that likely followed. 

As she began to mount her ride, I stepped in, "Sure you want to go out? You must be tired from playing like that." The compliment drew no response so I decided to make my case more pragmatic, "The rain's going to be a nasty bitch."

She gave a tiny yet sarcastic smile out from behind her jet black hair. "Sure." She kept her bike locked leaning on the metal pole and moved to awning of the school gym that was in front of the lot. As she leaned on the red brick wall, I began to feel itches on my head and see stains on my jersey and shorts. Escaping the drizzles, I made it under the awning to meet her. She leaned against the wall and slide down into a seat as I came over. 

"I remember my brother and I used this for our bikes." I said trying to see if that would unhinge her shielded shoulders; it didn't. 

"My name's Taylor, you're Sadie right?"

Her hair was still not pushed out of her face, and a switchblade emerged from her pocket and she began to oscillate it open and closed. Then she spoke with a captivating voice that soared out in the rain, "Nice to meet you Coach. And yes, I am a really good player."

That was the longest sentence she said to me. 

*

Her novelty startled me, and for a while it was all I could think about. A teenager with a knife: two words that should not be used together. I didn't say anything to her for a while. 

The lot was surrounded by lime green trees, the color enhanced with a gray screen the rain presented us with. I had been used to looking at it at the end of every practice. Although this was mostly because my mom usually came a bit late, it was always long enough for my to appreciate its beauty, rain or shine. The trees gangling in front of me, like it was asking its spectators to enter into its domain. The simplicity fascinated me: nature bordering one of the most modern schools I had ever seen. My house was not far from the school and 

I checked my phone: 6:17. This was going to be a while. I looked over to Sadie, face almost visible, with an unshaped expression basking in the rains gloomy glory. She continued to flip the blade out and in. I wondered if she had a phone, thought she probably did since she was my age. Suddenly, she turned to me, prompting me to break my gaze that probably aged long enough to be called 'awkward'. 

I wanted to say something to make conversation; clearly, she was good at soccer, confident in herself, and unless the knife was just for show, fearless. As captain, I always tried to make good relations with my teammates, and friends at high school. The party that Katelyn was so hung up on would become just one of the many that I attended, and where she became the life of it, undoubtedly. 

"Do you plan on going to the party for juniors next week?" She turned towards me with her head lowered, revealing a streamlined mouth. Through the stripes of black leather that blocked her face, I could make out her eyes, "I don't go to parties." 

Strange, I thought. Maybe she just wanted to appear disinterested in others just to draw attention, like she was drawing mine. Unsure if it was true, I utilized one of my ice breaking methods, "Why, mom and dad afraid of you drinking, or are you all just monotonous?" My comment seemed to make her feel uneasy as she looked down at her weapon. I could tell when someone was upset, and the face that she wore now I had seen many times. The solemn sight was always like ants gnawing at my flesh. 

This isn't to say i'm some sort of therapist. I couldn't care less about the moods of unstable strangers, stressed deprecating adults, or staring boys. I wouldn't have become class president if straight A's were guaranteed. But Sadie was now a part of my team, proving to be an integral part at that, even though she seemed different than other kids at school. But unmasking was my skill and coach or not, I was always up for a challenge. No, I was not going to leave..... 

"My parents are....always busy. They don't even have much time to drive me anywhere. It's a surprise for me when I get to see them having dinner in the same room even without any... interruptions." 

Her blade extended at the outset of her last word. A theory arose about the gravity of her life. Most kids in school felt disconnected form their parents, it was natural, even for me. But I could tell she was an exception. I felt guilty for the theory being my first suspicion, but I wasn't sure. 

I remembered one student, Jonathan, whose parents separated allegedly and his mom had won custody of the boy. Katelyn and I were his friends, and one day, she told me that Jonathan's mom said she wasn't going to spend another fucking night with that cheating prick. It couldn't have been him, he was an excellent student. Again, I wasn't one to judge, but Katelyn and I promised Johnathan that I would visit him in New York over summer. I still missed him. 

My impulse teetered on the edge of curiosity and respect. Due to her sonorous words and mid sentence pauses, I decided to refrain from prying further. 

After a moment, she instigated the conversation, "Is your mom coming?" I didn't look over, I was reeling from my careless question, but I still responded, "She's supposed to. She is just the most disorganized person." I began to loosen and I turned toward her, "She can barely remember how to get to school." I smiled and for the first time I made contact with her eyes, lime like the trees. 

I turned over to her and she nodded, pointing to her bike, getting the shower it so sorely needed. It's black hand bars and wheels shinned more and more with each successive drop. I guess that's why she left it on the pole. "You're lucky you don't have to bust your ass after a hard game. But it's good for my legs, you know."

I reposed myself right next to her. Forgetting my earlier promise, I figured this may be my chance to get a clearer picture of the surrounding mystery that was thicker than the storm itself. "You don't talk much, do you." She, now recollected, gazed at me in earnestness. "Well I've never seen someone ask a girl out to a date like this before." 

Bewildered, I tried to defend myself, "I'm not.... Is that what you thought I was doing?" She looked at me with unconvincingly, "You've been asking about the party, my mom, been sitting with me. Plus, the real shit, you're leaning on me." 

My eyes dropped down to see my shoulder pressed against hers. I hadn't notice; my eagerness had silenced my consciousness again as it often does when I'm curious. I moved back. I couldn't tell what she wanted, was she trying to get my attention or just scare me?

"Look Taylor, I get it. You're coach, and as such you want to know my tick. But I don't want to talk"

"Well, why don't you want to talk? I”’m a pretty cool person I’m told

"I do, but you're poking me like I'm some kind of animal that reacts to probing with a smile on its face. I'm not some charming doll that can be won over with a littl' smile. Everyone turns on me eventually."

She was now attacking me, the coach and a pretty nice person I'd wager. I had been sitting with her for half an hour and all I got in return were her blunt responses messed up backround which might not even be true. "Sadie, I was trying to help you. I figured since you were new here, I might be a friend for you. I just didn't know how to approach...you. And if all you do is insult people, then stay the hell away from me." I pointed at her, and she looked down at her pocket, harboring the knife, and gave a twisted smile and shot her head to mine with intention. 

"Approach what, Taylor? A psycho!" she said, her stare made of tendrils slid down my spine and into my mind. "You came to me! But now you say stay away like I'm a fucking kid? What are you ton-deaf or somethin'? Well, here's the headline, you're not the first to say that to me. Everyone I met at school and in public calls me that. Whether I'm sweet, playful, or even fuckin' mute, girls and guys hate me. I don't need you now poking me like I'm some kind of animal that will behave if you act nice. Is that what you want to hear, that I'm some kind of sick disease?"

I was frozen in hubris, not knowing what to say. "Well," she said, "that's fine. That's just fine." She pushed her hands our in front of her and they collapsed on the concrete when she finished. 

She didn't look back at me, but I never turned away. I heard a single sniffle and nothing more. The girl was suffocating herself to prevent showing weakness. I saw the result of my disposition, my defense, and then my inadvertent attack. Although there was no one in sight, I felt a thousand eyes staring at me in horror. In my self guilt, I forgot the likely fact she went through this many times. 

My mind excavated experiences even remotely close to this, but all I could find where the words of a friend. 'Time moves slow when you're inactive' Katelyn told me once, 'so you better have the courage to act, or else you're never getting respect or a date'. I was humored in my state of sadness, 'Oh, the wisdom of Katelyn. Unmatched.' Not unlike the fucked up scenario we were in and whatever happened next was up to me. 

I was about to give my honest yet pathetic apology until her own words overlapped with mine, "I'm sorry." She turned toward me as we made eye contact. We could both tell that we were shocked. This time, I forced myself to regain my upright calm disposition before her. Her eyes lowered as I was about to explain myself; but still facing me, she spoke too soon, "I never meant to be pissed at you. I've been this way with most people who play me for fraud. It's been this way since... I moved. My parents divorce hasn't made it any easier, either." A beat of silence. "But you're one of the first people whose taken this much of a shine to me. That has never happened before." A rumble of thunder. "I can tell you haven't talked much to kids like me. But you were fascinated, and I get that. I get that." A ring on my phone which I thought I muted. "I just got...scared, you know." She looked up with expectation. 

She must've paused to let me soak up her apology. 'The little minx', she read my mind again. This time I could also see into hers, not so far, but I could peer into her pout of thoughts with clarity, absent of any fog. But there was one piece I was missing, one step...I stopped. This wasn't the time to investigate, this was a girl, a girl who liked me and I needed to pull the both of us out of the ravine that grew more narrow by the second. 

I felt distraught and eroded when yellow lights blinded my gaze as a red Honda pulled into the curb. I discovered the ring from my phone was her telling me '1 minute away honey'. 45 minute wait since I got up those steps, impressive. My mom waved at me through the windshield, smiling. True to form, there was a phone in her hand and she was laughing her ass off. Jennifer's jokes, no doubt. 

My focus returned to Sadie, and she continued to look on. I still hadn't withdrawn my detrimental perviousness and she had already retracted her attack. I had unconsciously pressed on this girl and now our feelings were impaired. Knowing my mom, she was running late to pick up my brother or some matter of urgency. I got up and went into the rain, pellets relentless, not even allowing me to use my eyes to their full capacity. There was always tomorrow, I thought, but this was still wrenching. For the first time I was leaving someone I knew fractured. 

"I hope to see you soon Sadie. I'll think about today." I managed. Sadie blinked and gazed up at me through the rain, and I waved. As I turned I felt like collapsing in the rain where I stood. My Mom would have a congenital heart attack and probably haul me in the car and speed to the Hospital, another task on the pile. At this point, I was ironically in uncharted waters here and perhaps it was better to leave with pitiful regret. 

"Yo, Taylor." I turned around at Sadie's voice, now standing in the rain 5 feet away at pole where her bike was parked. Her colored motif jacket zipped up. The heavy rain made her hair blacker but shinier than did the earlier portion of the rain. Like her bike, the shower she needed. Pensively, she locked eyes with me once more and gave a smirk. "It's been fun." 

Her wave and her approving nod were distinct like her voice in the storm that the rest of the world was listening to. Although she was sarcastic, odd, and personally overwhelming, I could tell she meant it. I smiled back. Sadie peddled, swerved, and wheeled through the empty parking lot. She made it to the Fusion Academy Oak Brook sign leading onto the road when she looked back once more with the same musing expression as before. The gunmetal trees flanking the road she was about to cross, and the trees she would pass gain and like me, come to know as practice continued.

The forest, uncertainty.

That was it. That's who she was. That's why she waited with me when she could've easily driven away. This entire conversation was not a challenge for me, it was a new experience for her. Her life met her with rejection and iniquity, only to now have something that was not entirely fair, but a change of pace. 

Without looking back, she gave a fist pump in the air as she merged with the slippery road, as I made my resolve to take this challenge, this new destiny of mine, head on.