To Be Mortal

“Here we are… At the heart of the jungle of Balkat... A nice, quiet place for me to come and think. Just think. No hungry animals to avoid, no civilization to speak of or to, just… an empty island in the middle of a still lake. You look at that horizon and tell me you wouldn’t like to spend the rest of your days with that as the first and last thing you see when you step outside.”

“Ah, I forget you can’t talk. But I can tell from your eyes behind that helm that you agree with me.”

“Of course to step outside first you would need a threshold like that of a home, with a big door with hinges that squeak as you push it aside and walls that keep the warm air in. Maybe you take one or two steps down into a small gated garden in the front, maybe you don’t have a garden at all, maybe you have one in the back for your crops. Some tomatoes maybe. Ah, definitely some of those.”

“You laugh or grunt or what have you, but what else would a god wish for hmm?”

“Look at Azuth, master of the arcane, the literal aether at his beck and call. He spends his days locked in a workshop tinkering with little machines. The Red Knight wages wars all across the universe but when she isn’t? She plays chess, even won a game or two against her, and that’s no easy feat if I may say as such.”

“Sometimes I see them on my own godly errands and I think to myself; do they ever stop and think what their lives might be like if they were mortal?”

“I used to be mortal once, did you know that?”

“I crossed over from another universe alongside some other mortals and together we became the first gods to settle this new place we found ourselves in. I had no say in the matter. There was no time to reflect on a choice, no big ceremony or fanfare just… You’re a god now! Congratulations!”

“And of course, everyone was ecstatic right? I mean- who doesn’t want to be a god? To have infinite power and immortality, to be loved and worshiped and… and...”

“God of the Void. That is my title… my responsibility. I can take the Entropy and use it in whatever way I want. So, I created Nathra, a little realm for myself, I created the Voidborn so I wouldn’t be alone, gave them free will and the knowledge to let them prosper and thrive.”

“I’m sorry, was that a yawn? Am I boring you? Ehh, I guess I have been talking your ear off…”

“Listen for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a mouth, You were one of the first to be created and I was still trying to figure out how to create life. You understand that’s not exactly an easy task don’t you?”

“And the others are doing well too. They’re all out there leading the Voidborn, teaching them about all manner of things. Except you of course. You wanted to follow me for some reason. Silly old me...”

“You know sometimes I look back at all I’ve accomplished as a god. It’s not a bad list, all things considered and yet… I feel like the other gods look at me like I’m a bad person. In all fairness, with the Entropy being what it is and how it would be so easy to just use it for maligned purposes, I don’t blame them. But I haven’t! In fact, it never crossed my mind to use it for my own selfishness.”

“Although I doubt the Entropy has the capacity to do that regardless. You can’t just rip the godhood out of a god, fate wills it as such. Right? It wouldn’t be that easy. It rarely is that easy.”

“Maybe it is, and I’m just… I don’t know, hesitating for some reason unbeknownst to me.”

“I do miss it though, that rush of adrenaline when you’re in danger, the way it felt when you got punched in the arm or- Ow! Haha all right, maybe I was exaggerating a bit with the punching! You’ve got a mean right hook friend.”

“In all seriousness though, it doesn’t really feel like living when you don’t age and you see that everything and everyone eventually fades to obscurity… Back when, I might have settled down, married, had children maybe… maybe started writing a book… or maybe I’d have been too busy with the children to get into writing.”

“Now though I can only watch others and pretend that I have the life they do. Then I would return to my duties, maybe add a mountain or two to my realm then… keep doing that… the godly cycle...”

“Ah, I remember the way I used to dress back when, a long coat, shirt and vest with somewhat baggy bottoms. Ha! I also had a top hat and a monocle! A cane as well actually, haha… ah… perhaps I can recreate it for you, one moment.”

“Well, how do I look? What are you- oh come now it’s not that bad! Haha! A guardian and a jester, that’s what you are! All right, all right, I’ll change back.”

“Ah, much more comfortable like this. Sun’s setting, you can see what I mean now, it’s a beautiful landscape, the oranges and purples of the sky, the reflection in the lake and the greenery of that horizon… magnificent...”

“I truly miss it, you know. Mortality. It gave every day meaning. Gave every choice lasting consequence. Kept me focused and on my toes. Now I can barely tell if a day has passed or a month. Everything blends together until nothing is clear anymore.”

“Perhaps one day I may get the chance to experience that all over again, start over, and do it right this time. I’ve already got a lifetime’s worth of experience now after all.”

“Although part of me is afraid I’ll end up making the same mistakes again. Ah but that’s for my future self to worry about, we should get going. We still have duties to attend to.”

“One day...”