Home Repair with Dad

        Eli woke to the sound of crashing dishes and his grandfather muttering in the kitchen.

“Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Where’s the sugar?.... That’s it for the half n’ half…”

Rolling over in his nest of blankets, Eli swiped his hand over the bedside clock. Holographic neon numbers appeared overhead, the image wavering slightly.

7:01 AM

Another crash erupted downstairs. Eli listened to his grandpa shuffle around and repeat himself.

“Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Where’s the sugar?.... That’s it for the half n’ half…”

Eli groaned and pried himself out of bed. Why did this have to happen to him? Why now, while he was in charge of the house and his parents were away on business? Pulling on his jeans and a vintage K-Pop t-shirt, he staggered downstairs to inspect the damage.

    The kitchen didn’t look that bad with only a few broken plates and some cups scattered across the floor. Eli was more worried about his grandpa who had his bathrobe open as he wandered in circles around the counter.

“Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Where’s the sugar?.... That’s it for the half n’ half…”

     The old, frail man approached the black cylindrical coffee machine, the sugar cupboard, and then the fridge before starting all over again. His eyes jerked around the room aimlessly.

    “Uh, Gramps? You having a good morning?” Eli asked. No reply.

“Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Where’s the sugar?.... That’s it for the half n’ half…”

“Gramps? GRAMPS!” Eli yelled. It was no use. His grandpa just continued his doddering loop through the kitchen, completely oblivious to his grandson’s voice.

“Oh, this is perfect,” Eli griped as he took out his holo-phone. He flipped through the floating menu, selected Dad, and then placed the small gadget on the floor. A life-size version of his dad materialized in front of him, his hand held up dismissively.

“Sorry, I’m in a meeting and can’t talk right now. Try me again later,” The hologram said.

“This is important, Dad!” Eli said to himself and pressed the ‘call again’ button.

“Sorry, I’m in a meeting and can’t talk right now. Try me –” Eli hit ‘call again’ before the message could repeat.

“Sorry, I’m in a meeting and – What?! What is it already?” The hologram snapped to life as his flesh-and-blood father finally picked up the call. “I’m supposed to be figuring out big things with the Mars division. Is this an emergency?”

“It’s Grandpa. He’s doing it again!”

“Doing what?”

Eli pointed and his holographic father turned to see Gramps walking again and again into the closed fridge.

“That’s it for the half n’ half… That’s it for the half n’ half… That’s it for the half n’ half…” He kept repeating.

“Oh, great!” Dad said, his shoulders sagging. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Eli protested. “I gave him his pills last night, I got his dinner ready, and he went to bed at eight like normal.”

“Did you give him his anti-virals?”

Eli hesitated, his eyes darting toward the medicine cabinet. “Aren’t the anti-virals for the morning?”

His father sighed, shaking his head. “No, Eli! Gramps gets his anti-virals morning, noon, and night. That’s why he can’t put one foot in front of the other.”

On the other side of the kitchen, Gramps headed back to the sugar cupboard, colliding with one of the dining chairs in his way. It scraped and squeaked loudly as the old man pushed it slowly across the room.

“Sugar…Sugar….Sugar…Sugar…,” He chanted.

"What do I do?” Eli asked. His father turned to face him.

“You need to fix him. You should know how to do this,” He chided.

Eli groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Oh, come on! You seriously want me to do that?!”

Squaring his shoulders at his son, Eli’s father waved a virtual finger at him. “No whining! We made you the man of the house for the weekend. So, act like it and fix up your grandpa!”

Eli pouted but dragged himself over to his grandpa who was currently walking in place, unaware of the wooden chair firmly wedged between him and the counter. Eli placed a hand on his grandpa’s back and ran it up and along his bony shoulders and neck. He continued tracing his fingers along the old man’s ears until he found two flesh-tone buttons sticking up from his scalp. Eli pressed the small button three times and then pressed and held both buttons down together for five seconds.

“Freaking coffee machine….Freaking coffee ma –” Gramp’s face froze mid-rant with a ludicrous expression on his wrinkled face. The top panel of Grandpa’s head, crowned with his wispy gray hair, whirred and popped open on servo motors. Eli winced and then looked down at the motherboard implanted inside Gramp’s skull. Dozens of switches and LED lights flashed on and off in blinking patterns.

“I don’t know anything about this, Dad!”

“Oh, come on, son!” His dad snapped. “It’s hardly brain surgery! Just find the manual port and download the anti-viral program! You see where it is?”

“How the hell should I know?” Eli threw his hands up in frustration.

“Eli Blatton!” his dad barked. Eli cringed at his father’s voice. “Front and center this instant!”

Leaving his grandfather frozen with half of his head hanging off, Eli went to stand eye-to-eye with the hologram.

“I’m sticking my neck out for you,” his dad almost whispered. “If it weren’t for some friends of mine here with me I’d be out of a job because of you wasting time with your little hissy fit. And then where are you in a month? Hmm?”

“The gutter or worse,” Eli recited, his eyes low.

“Right. So, you pay up some respect, got it?”

Eli hated getting scolded by his father. It felt like the only time his dad ever talked to him was to yell at him.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I’m…well… It’s just that… I’m just a little nervous,” Eli felt his cheeks go warm.

“Nervous?”

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but it’s super creepy being here alone with Gramps. And messing around in there –” He jabbed a thumb back to his grandpa’s open head. Drool began to drip out his mouth and down his chin. “ – like, what do I do if I get something wrong? Do I take him to a hospital or…”

Eli’s father’s hologram nodded gently, a paternal smile spreading across his face.

  “Ok, listen. I can spare a few minutes. Bring the phone over to Gramps.”

Eli reached down and lifted his father with one hand, his head and shoulders briefly vanishing into the ceiling. He set him down behind Gramps. His dad peered into Gramp’s skull and then pointed with his translucent finger.

“See those tiny white switches there?” He said. Eli nodded. “Make sure those are switched off. Then plug in the anti-virus drive to the port next to them.”

Twenty minutes later, Eli clipped his grandfather’s head back together, exhaling in relief. He reached around Gramp’s ear and held down both buttons for three seconds until the old man raised up his head. He grunted and wiped drool off his chin, confused.

“Oh, Eli!” He said turning around. Eli smiled back at Gramps.

“That’s it for the Half ‘n Half.” He held up an empty dairy carton. “Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on, anyway…. Where’s the sugar?”

“Don’t worry about it, Gramps!” Eli said, taking him by the shoulders. “Just take a seat on the patio, I’ll bring you your cup of coffee.”

His grandpa’s wrinkles creased as he smiled at Eli. “Thank you, Jimmy. You’re a good kid.”

Eli watched his grandpa walk out to the patio before he took his dad off hold. The hologram blipped back into view.

“Is he doing ok?” His dad asked.

“Yeah, he seems fine. He called me you again.”

Jim Blatton, Eli’s father, shrugged his flickering shoulders. “Yeah, some bugs never go away. That’s why you never get your kicks playing with your own programming,” Jim folded back his ear, revealing his two neuro access buttons for emphasis, “got it?”

Eli nodded. “Yeah, I know, I know, Dad! It’s all they tell us in health class!”

“Good!” His dad grunted, satisfied. He sighed and stared back at his son. “Anyway, I have to go.”

“Wait, Dad!” Eli called. His father’s hologram looked at him expectantly. “I just… just wanted to say thank you. I feel better about being home with Gramps now.”

His father smiled at him. “Of course, Eli. You just remember that I’m always proud of you.”

His hologram vanished into the ground. Later in his life, when people asked Eli about his father, he would smile and think back to the morning that the two of them fixed up Grandpa’s brain.