A lifetime

This was where I got my first kiss, just before he fell on Ma's aloe Vera plant trying to flee the uninspected intruder into my room. That night, the moon was as bright as today and the stars as twinkling as my eyes each time I saw him—William.

Thinking of it again, this window has been my greatest and most silent witness in the past years. I had some of my happiest, saddest and funniest moments right here. With the sun illuminating my smile in day times, and the moon hiding my tears at night.

I watched my dad leave by this window. Just after another dispute with ma. He had come home drunk with his salary half cut out again. He walked to his motorcycle, and all I wished was for him to turn once, only once to give me a smile, an ''I will be back'' smile but he didn't. 

He had gone many times, but this time he didn't come back. I was still six years old and Abouem was just a baby, but it feels like yesterday. Sometimes later, we heard about his wedding and his new babies – the brothers I never knew.

Here, I admired the fireworks in the new year, right after we prayed with ma and Abouem for a better year. There's something about these sparkling whizzes that filled me with hope and a positive clairvoyance. 

I wrote my best stories here too. Painting on the dim blank sky the fruits of my imagination. I sometimes thought it would be great if there was a thought recorder. Genuine thoughts tend to go faster, but the real challenge here is to recognize them.

It taught me how to listen to silence and just admire the moment. How to feel nature communicate with us through the wind brushing your skin, the unrehearsed concerts of birds and insects, and the scattered but yet peaceful movements of the clouds – the things we take for granted but which are some of the most beautiful signatures of mother nature.

I applied to hundreds of opportunities here. It was the first to celebrate my successful replies, and also the first to collect my tears in cases of redirecting replies. 

It gave my room some light when we had no electricity. Not because ma did not pay, no, but due to the countless rolling blackouts we had. That was the bill she paid off first. We could go for months without subscribing to TV streaming services but we would always stay in light. Ma said light gives hope, that it is hope.

At this window, Abouem and I had our best karaokes. We would sing so loud that the neighbors would start shouting for us to stop. 

I remember the days when we had nothing to eat. We would wait for Ma here till evening. We told each others stories until we got tired and just listened to music.

Abouem would run as fast as Usain Bolt the instant she saw Ma coming. She came with either cooked food or groceries, but we loved the cooked food better than having to cook everything.

I found out about dad's death by this window too. I was standing here when a middle aged woman parked her car by the house. She was accompanied by a man in a suit who was apparently her lawyer. Ma answered the knocked door and some minutes later, I heard loud voices. When I went to the living room I heard the man in suit talking about the house. How it didn't belong to us but to my dad's 'legal' wife. 

The woman who was very pretty and looked so nice was actually one who wanted two kids and their mother out of 'her' house. She didn't mind their living conditions or if the kids were her late husband's children. They gave us a week to move out and when ma followed her for more explanations, she turned and pushed her on the floor. I learned a lot about self control that day. Ma was very still. 

A week later, we moved to Baya's house. Ma did not want to start any legal procedure. She said it would certainly cost more than renting a little apartment for a year. 

Baya was my favorite opponent. We fought for the first position at school every sequence, but preferred to see the other in this position than any other classmate. 

Our mothers were very good friends. They were the only single mothers in our street.  We stayed with them for two weeks, until we found a place.

On my way back to school, I could not hold myself from staring at my room. I wondered who stayed in there and the possible links they may start to build with the house.

We learned to accept our new conditions. Abouem better than I did. I understood why we were all different.

Your dad proposed to me by this window.  Just before telling me he bought this house for us. He always said that he got his best teenage memory in this place. When he kissed me and later fell on Ma's aloe Vera plant.

You surely do not understand all that I'm telling you now, or maybe, but I am happy to share them all with you. I've had a lot of memories here. The best being your coming into our lives. 

I'll plant roses down your window, so their delightful smell wipes out any scent of sorrow, and their vivid colors brighten up your days. I hope you will not kiss a boy any time soon, because it would be unfortunate to have him crush the beautiful flowers.

Now it is your window, and I pray that your memories here are far more beautiful and enriching than mine. That you sing as loud as you can, as long as we do not get any fine and it makes your eyes shine. 

May the love we have for you accompany you every single night and stand by you in every single fight.