Be My Lover Tomorrow

" You know that you can't eat a food just by staring at it " a sweet soft voice echoed in the room got me back at my senses. I was staring at the mango pie served on the table. My favorite mango pie that I haven't tasted for 5 years. 

"I bet you missed my homemade mango pie? It's been like what?! Five years? " she said while laughing. 

" Yes " I answered while trying to avoid eye contact with her. After 5 years everything seems just awkward with her— or rather me being awkward with her. 

"Why don't you have a taste with my mango pie?" she asked while handing me a plate and a fork. I just smiled. Never in my wildest dreams that I would get a chance again to taste her mango pie. Even though it's been years, I still don't forget how it tastes. 

I just grabbed the plate and started slicing the pie. I put one slice in my plate. Maggie was just enthusiastically looking at me while smiling. I know that she's excited to see me eating again her mango pie. She knows that this is my favorite thing in the world. So much favorite that I remember getting into a fight when I was a kid because someone stole her homemade mango pie from me. 

I am just staring at the pie. Honestly, instead of excitement I feel more scared. Scared that memories might bring back again. The nightmares and the feelings that I'm trying to bury for years.

 I shoud've gone back home

I should've just stayed away with Maggie

I sigh deeply and eat the pie while smiling. Trying to hide everything. While eating the pie..

It happened. 

My greatest fear that I'm trying to avoid all these years. The feeling that I'm trying to suppress for 10 years. It suddenly came back rushing in a snap of a finger. I can't hold myself. My sight started to become blurry. 

Then I look at her. She is smiling. Those bright and beautiful smiles. Still nothing changed with her. She is still the perfect lady I know. 

My heart started pounding fast. I thought I was prepared to not to feel this again.

Flashback

"Here's your pie mister!" Maggie said while kissing her fingers acting like a chef. I chuckled. I just got into a fight again and I have bruises in my face. I know my mom would definitely be mad at me. I'm always causing constant stress to her. I had a very bad day and Maggie as a way of her lifting up my mood. She would always make a pie for me every time that I got into trouble. 

We've met each other when we were in 8th grade. After that, we've been very close friends. Actually, she was the only true friend I have. Funny because she is the smartest person in the room compared to me. A very stubborn kid that always getting into a fight everyday. I cannot even believe that I'm still passing school and it's because of her. She has a different perception about me. She thinks that I'm amazing man. Unlike my parents who think that I'm a piece of trash. 

We're now in 1st year college. I'm still getting into a fight sometimes. But if it's there something changed it is that my feelings for Maggie. I'm starting to see her not only as a friend but something very special. I don't know how you explain it. It's just very complicated. This is my first time experiencing something strong as this. The only thing I know is that I would do everything to spend every second with her. I know I'm sure with my feelings, but I don't know how to tell her. 

There's just a lot of differences between us. She is a beautiful, smart, talented girl and any man would fall for her. While me? Some just piece of nothing. But I'm trying harder to change myself. Honestly, I've been doing good at the university. I also started to build my business because I want to be an entrepreneur. This is how strong my feelings with her yet I cannot find courage to tell her.  

After a couple of months, I cannot take it anymore. The fact that we're just friends is killing me. I want something more than that. She told me that she had also a great news to tell me today. I also decided that this was the perfect timing to confess everything. 

" JayJay uhhh-uhmmm I know I should have told you this a long time ago" said Maggie while holding her two hands tightly. She is very nervous and sweating too bad in the middle of night. 

"What is it?" I answered while being skeptical of what's happening. 

"I need to confess something to you. " 

Confess ?! Confess of what? What does it mean? My heart started pounding so hard. I can't breath. Does she also have feelings with me? I just stared at her nervously and sweating. Eagerly waiting for her answer. 

" I- I've been lo-loving..." she can't speak straight. I'm very nervous that my heart it feels like wants to get out of my chest.

" I've been loving your brother. " 

" Ive been loving your brother. "

Your brother

Your brother

Your brother

" WAIT? WHAT? MY BROTHER?!!" I answered unexpectedly. Hearing that Maggie is loving my brother feels like my heart was crushed into a million of pieces. Is this real? How did it happen?! This can't be real. 

" Since when?" I shockingly answered. She already expects that this will happen. 

"We've been together for 2 months. I-Im sorry if didn't tell you sooner. I- I don't know how. I know we've been close friends and I don't know how you would react if I tell you I've been dating your brother. That's why we kept it a secret from you." 

So this is the reason? Why I would always see my brother smiling in his phone. Why he would always be out of the house. I asked him if he got a girlfriend and he said soon. I didn't think that it would be Maggie. But why her? Why Maggie?! And with my brother?! 

Suddenly I felt warm in my cheeks. I didn't notice that my tears started falling. I just don't how should I feel. It hurts. It feels someone stabbing you again and again and again. My heart is racing. 

" Jay! Why are you crying? " Maggie worriedly said then she put her hands into my face to sweep my tears. I chuckled and grabbed her hands.

" Don't worry. It's just a tears of joy. Hahaha I'm happy for you two" I forced myself to smile. 

"What about you? You said that you also have something to tell me? What is it? " 

" I-I uhhmm uhmm my business is doing great" I answered while I'm forcing to smile hard.I lied. 

End of flashback

"Hello? You alright? " she asked while waving her hands to me. 

" What is it?" I startlingly asked her. 

"I been asking can't you just stay here? I've been missing my best friend." 

"I'm sorry Maggie but there's just a lot of things to do at work. " I smiled. I lied. 

After Maggie and my brother got together. I decided to keep things a secret. However, I can't control myself to love her. It hurts me everytime to see her with my brother. Until my mother and my brother discovered my secret. That I'm also loving my brother's girlfriend. The day when they discovered, we got in to a fight with my brother. I was keep screaming to him my love for her. That I will get her from him. My mother didn't like what happened. As usual because she always sees me as a trash, she told me to f*ck off the house. She told me that I always ruins everything in the family. They forced me to leave the house and I can't do anything about it. I was thinking to confess everything with Maggie before leaving the house, but I realized how she's happy with my brother. Happiness is all I wish for her and I don't want to ruin it. 

It's been 5 years since I left. Maggie doesn't know anything. The only thing she knew is I left because of my business. Yesterday Maggie and my brother got married. After all these years I thought I already buried my feelings with Maggie. I'm wrong. I love her. The same feeling I have since we were in college. She's still the only girl in my life. 

The only thing that they know is I'm doing great in Florida with my business and I've been with Catherine. My imaginary girlfriend. I just did that so that they will think that I'm alright and doing fine. I'm not. I'm still loving my sister-in-law. 

I wasn't supposed to go to their wedding but my brother kept insisting. Maggie also kept insisting. She said she needed his best friend and his brother-in-law to be in her wedding. 

Yesterday from their wedding I cannot stop thinking how Maggie is so happy with my brother. How she's fulfilled with him. 

What they don't know is this will be the last time they will see me. I think it's time to cut any connection with them. 

Im scared. Really really scared that if won't do it. I might destroy her family. Maggie is all I have and I don't want to hurt her. 

I finished eating the pie and started to get ready to leave.

"Can't you wait your brother before leaving? " 

"I'm sorry I really need to go." I said while smiling. Another lie for today. 

I just keep staring at her. All these years and it's still you, Maggie. I walk into her and just keep staring at her. She's staring back feeling confused. 

" I-I wi-wish you all the best Maggie. You deserve to be happy."I'm trying hard to hold back my tears. 

" Farewell Maggie. " I said while I hug her tightly. I know this will be my last hug with the only lady in my life. I will definitely miss your smile, your face and your mango pie Maggie. 

Maybe in another life, i can be your lover.

" Those times I'd drown in the blue of your eyes,

You never noticed a thing.

There were nights I laid awake and thought.

Of the love our friendship could bring.

No matter how hard I've been trying,

The truth is so hard to see.

I guess it takes a while to let go,

Of something not meant to be. "

- Katy Mikelle

PS: This is my first time writing a story like this. I'm not a native English speaker. But i hope you like it mwah!