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Creative Nonfiction Contemporary Asian American

My Crazy Year by Amanda Stogsdill

The wintery Colorado wind blew fiercely, numbing tingly fingers as my friends and I gulped in the frosty air. Bundled up in winter coats, scarves, multiple pairs of gloves, we boarded our usual bus to the Center for the Blind.

The center was recommended by my vocational counselor, a place for learning new skills while living independently. So, there I was boarding a plane for Colorado. I'd arrived very unsure of what would happen. I was met by staff who assisted me through the airport, driving me to my new apartment. I was excited to be meeting other blind people not from my high school, it was also scary being on my own. The Center would be my home for the next several months.

I met my roommate and unpacked. Our apartment had two bedrooms (one master with its own bathroom), kitchen, (and if you were on the second floor), a balcony.

The next day was spent grocery shopping with a staff member, and visiting the center.

Once there, I was assessed (as in, asked numerous questions about my independent living skills—shopping, cleaning, and so on.) Then, I was introduced to the sleepshades. Foam with a Velcro that goes around your eyes. Yes, everybody was required  to wear them to be equal. Those with some vision were now totally blind, around the center, anyway. We were also given straight canes instead of folding ones.

My first weeks were spent learning how to navigate around the center (from the lobby, to the various classrooms, kitchen, shop, braille room, computer lab, and staff offices.) Traveling to and from the center I was accompanied by someone, until I got the hang of it, which took a while. Then, I went solo. Out my apartment, down the sidewalk to the bus with the others, then to the train station. Finding the right train could be confusing if you weren't used to the Metro system. There was always people around to help if you got lost. Once you heard the automated voice announce the right stop, it was on to the center! Oh, sleep shades were always worn. On weekends, they came off!

After roll call, we had lessons. We were divided into small groups; I can't remember if it was based on our skill levels (beginner braille or cane users for example.

There were many students just learning these skills, so blindness was still very confusing to them. Others, like me were born blind, and just needed some extra independence training. While at the center, we were all required to complete various tasks such as Braille and shop projects, a cookbook, a monster route, and various cooking projects. It started small, preparing a meal for five people, then fifteen, then the whole center, around fifty people. That was how you graduated.

Many of the staff were also blind. In Home Management, the two teachers (one of whom was blind) would supervise our cooking, encouraging us to communicate with one another. We learned to announce when we walked across the room carrying items such as a knife or something hot. The mobility instructors knew the routes, they could walk with the students until they learned where they were going. Braille is more hands-on, with students around a table. In the computer lab, there weren’t any monitors, only speech software. Because the classes were small, everyone could receive individualized instruction if they needed it.

Traveling around a new city was often frustrating. There were many times I got lost, and had to ask for help. The staff wanted us to find our way independently. Once, I somehow managed to miss my regular stop, so had to backtrack to the train station. From there, I had to walk back to my apartment! Not sure what the weather was like. People in the community were usually friendly, and wanted to help.

Many times, I had to explain the sleep shade rule which always got interesting reactions. At the library, a lady couldn't believe I was really blind, and wasn't just pretending. Taking trips outside the center added to the sleep shade confusion. While a small group of us Visited an elementary school to celebrate White Cane Day, we met other blind students. (It’s October 15th, by the way). We explained what the cane meant to us, mainly having our independence. We were given pencils shaped like canes. As we walked in the shouting parade, one of the kids joked, "You can take those off. Your teacher's not looking."

Living in an apartment had its own challenges. Along with our own money, the center gave us extra money to cover groceries or other small expenses; TV and Internet were on us. Yes, I survived a whole year with virtually no Internet. Shopping for groceries and other household items with an assistant could be amusing; for example, my assistant was a man, I needed feminine products, and he didn't know what those were! I had to use other terms before he understood. I quickly realized that soda wouldn’t last, so I slowly cut back. Fast food was another bad habit; almost every weekend, I would order something, sometimes with friends. I also became a semi-vegetarian, no bacon, pork, or hamburger.

There were inspections every so often to make sure the apartments were clean. I sometimes had cooking lessons there instead of at the center. With the appliances marked with locator dots, the staff made sure we weren't just ordering take-out! During one of those lessons, I made chicken casserole and corn casserole for my small dinner party. Fortunately, there weren't any kitchen fires, at least not in my apartment.

Other aspects of the center were more enjoyable. Making friends and visiting their apartments helped us navigate the complex. If you were in one building and your friend was in another, you had to learn the routes there and back. Often on weekends, a group of us would take the train to restaurants. Or, simply order a pizza and watch movies. One friend and I discovered a similar passion. Our love for Stephen Sondheim’s music provided many hours of entertainment.

Colorado winters are no joke when it comes to traveling. The staff warned us about walking through snow, I assumed it would be easy; I was wrong. Walking everywhere in the freezing snow was brutal, my hands became numb, and my head felt light, making it difficult to concentrate. Tapping our canes in the snow to locate sidewalks and other landmarks took time, but we did it! There were times I couldn't feel my cane in my hand! The mobility staff reminded us they went out four times a day with each group. Catching the metro was miserable in winter because the train managed to be late, leaving us standing there freezing! No matter how many layers I wore, I was always cold!

I had a surprise when my Dad and sister decided to kidnap me! Actually, they showed up unexpectedly for a visit. We stayed in a friend’s cabin for a few days. The best part was journeying up Pike’s Peak. Up, up, up, we went, like some crazy roller coaster. Along the way, we were told of the residents who called that mountain home. “I wouldn’t want to live all the way up here.” We remarked. At the top, we were let out to walk around. Like all good things that must end, I returned to the reality of the center.

Many of us went home for Christmas. The flight was okay, I had to tell the attendants I needed assistance, just not the wheelchair. Upon our return, we received sobering news. One of the students had died, another was in the hospital. The first few days back, most of us were in a haze. The young woman eventually returned, it felt bittersweet.

I should add that winter wasn't always gloomy. Skiing in Colorado was beautiful! Unable to see the beauty of the snow-covered mountains or the pristine white landscape, we could tell the air was becoming clearer going up a mountain. I never learned to ski down the fast slopes; I stuck to snowshoeing instead. Walking (or falling) through soft, powdery snow or crunching on ice was fun! And the near silence was amazing, like you were in another world. (In case you're wondering, we were accompanied by sighted staff who knew the slopes). Returning to the lodge, we had hot chocolate. Not a bad day, in my opinion!

In the spring, I planned a monster route, which took days. Calling the restaurants, getting directions, and writing out the route itself for my mobility teacher. Each student had to pick three places, and plan a route. I can't recall much, except it took all day to complete. I was able to use a braille compass and the braille route I'd made. Starting on the train, I missed my stop, so had to get off at the next one. I eventually arrived at the first place; next I attempted to backtrack to the train station. Unfortunately, I got lost; I somehow made it back to the correct train. Once seated, I decided to reverse the route, heading to the final stop. Wrong idea! It was exhausting, walking to the third stop, then retracing my steps to the train again to find the second! I'm sure I received lots of help along the way. Even with the compass telling me which direction I was headed, it still took quite a while. When I called the bus company to find out when the next bus left, I was told there weren't any. So, as a last resort, I took a cab. I arrived back at my apartment well after dark.

The other projects were less stressful. In shop, I made a small box for my hair ties. I wanted something portable that I wouldn't have to ship. No one lost their fingers on the saws and other sharp tools.

For braille class, I wrote a story using the brailler (a machine with six keys and a spacebar), and sometimes on a slate and stylus. That's a long two-sided ruler with holes, where you write from right to left. Once the paper is flipped, you can read everything left to right. Anyway, not every student did their projects that way, that was my crazy idea! Not the most exciting story I've written, but still fun. It centered around my sister and her friends traveling to Colorado, to start a band. They bring my sister's dog and have adventures before arriving.

I graduated in the spring. In the weeks leading up to it, I told everybody I was preparing pasta, the real dish was a surprise for Mom. My actual meal for the whole center was chicken casserole, mini cheesecakes, and green bean casserole. My Mom, brother and sister (not the one in the Braille story), came and stayed in our apartment. My roommate shared our space, but we bought extra food ourselves. Mom admired the still snow-covered mountains. They tried hiking up a small mountain, without success! My grandparents stayed nearby. Graduation day, they took the familiar train route with me to the center, to experience it. While I was getting everything ready, they were under sleep shades for most of the morning! My younger brother may have cheated a little. With staff members, everyone made pizzas and practiced walking around blind. Mom chopped a pepper to go on her pizza, and walked down the street; she was terrified.

For lunch, the family was served first, followed by the rest of the people at the center. A couple friends and I were the servers! If I'd known the green beans with onions would be more popular, I would have made a larger pan. The cheesecakes with strawberries were a hit.

After lunch, I was given a sort of farewell send-off by the rest of the students and staff. The director gives all the graduates a bell (I still have mine.) It's loud, good for waking people up should I choose to use it.

That night, we hung out at my apartment; someone brought their radio. Good times.

That ended my year in Colorado. I’m glad I experienced it, but was also happy to return to my family.

The End

August 28, 2024 02:57

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6 comments

Alexis Araneta
06:57 Sep 05, 2024

Hi, Amanda. Got here through Critique Circle. Overall, a compelling story of independence. Loved the use of description here. Good job !

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Amanda Stogsdill
15:45 Sep 06, 2024

Thanks, Alexis. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Mary Bendickson
02:21 Aug 30, 2024

Very amazing! So great to be independent. Thanks for liking 'Waiting Line.' And for following. I will try to read some of your book.

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Amanda Stogsdill
19:17 Aug 30, 2024

Thanks, Mary. I appreciate that. What did you mean when you said you'd read my book?

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Mary Bendickson
19:35 Aug 30, 2024

Oops. Did I confuse you with someone else who asked me to look up her book to read.? Sorry.

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Amanda Stogsdill
16:09 Sep 04, 2024

That wasn't my book. However, I do have a YA novel on Amazon called Love You Always. Set during WW2, two Jewish sisters become separated when they arrive in England.

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