'Til Death we're apart

Content warning: implied alcohol, death (abstract)

From: SJG2354@IntimateLibrary.com

To: ATD6534@InfiniteLibrary.com

Subject: Vent Sesh - Read with wine

Emily!!!!!

I am AT MY LIMIT with him! I swear, he is running this whole company into the ground. Nobody is paid enough, everyone works too many hours, AND he just laid off like forty people. Were they bad people? Hell if I know! We had just hired them last month!!! Seriously, their benefits hadn’t even kicked in yet. I wish he was dead. At least then his spot would be open and maybe we could save this sinking ship.

Sarah

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From: ATD6534@InfiniteLibrary.com

To: SJG2354@IntimateLibrary.com

Subject: Re: Minor issue

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Dear Sarah,

I believe this email was not intended for me, as I am not your best friend Emily. However, I couldn't help but read the first few lines of your email before realizing my mistake. I couldn't resist responding to your frustrations, as I am quite familiar with the challenges of working in a demanding job. I hope you don't mind the intrusion, and I hope you don't get in trouble for accidentally sending this email to the wrong recipient.

Sincerely,

A.

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From: SJG2354@IntimateLibrary.com

To: ATD6534@InfiniteLibrary.com

Subject: Re: Re: Minor issue

Dear A (?)

Hey, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know how I got my friend’s email SO wrong. In my defense, I was wallowing and I have just now made the decision never to drink and email at the same time ever again. I also need you to understand I am not a psychopath and I was only emotional so I do not REALLY want my boss dead. For all legal purposes, that was hyperbole.

Really REALLY sorry,

Sarah

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From: ATD6534@InfiniteLibrary.com

To: Sarah

Subject: Re: Minor issue

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Dear Sarah,

No apology necessary. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I must say, your email was quite entertaining, albeit unintentionally so. It's refreshing to hear someone be so candid about their frustrations, it's a reminder of humanity and how complex it is. And no worries, I am not a lawyer and I don’t generally take requests for deaths anyway. Your emotions are safe with me.

Sincerely,

A.

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From Sarah

To A

Subject: Guess what!

Don’t worry, this isn’t a drunk email. I just thought you’d like some closure on the drama I accidentally sent you. My boss apparently had this near death experience (Again, definitely Not My Doing, just a coincidence) and came into the office today a whole new guy! He rehired those forty people WITH backpay, gave me a promotion AND a raise out of nowhere, and it happens to be in a position where I can better balance people’s hours and pay. We’re finally going to be a company I want to work for! Has your boss ever done a 180 like that?

Thanks for being my venting board,

Sarah

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From A

To Sarah

Subject Re: Guess what!

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Sarah, 

That's wonderful news! I'm overjoyed to hear about the positive turn of events you experienced at work. It seems like fate intervened on your behalf. Perhaps the universe heard your frustrations and decided to grant your boss a much-deserved wakeup call. As for my boss, our line of work has a very long history and tradition, so he doesn't change much at all-- not that I can say he needs to. Everybody who works here is perfectly happy. Maybe one day you can even work with us.

All the best, 

A.

—

From A

To Sarah

Subject: Are you okay?

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Sarah,

I’m just checking in, as a friend. I was cleaning out my mailbox and realize we haven’t written in a few weeks. I apologize if I am the one who is out of line this time, but I thought we had established some kind of friendly rapport. 

Anyhow. Feel free to send me a Vent Sesh or even positive news like the turnarounds you were planning on making with your company. 

Wishing you well,

A.

—

From Sarah

To A

Subject Re: Are you okay?

No, I’m not okay. Emily died out of nowhere. She was so young and driven and my only friend in this stupid city. I remembered what you said. About joining you at your company? Anyway, I was really considering it because everything in this STUPID town reminds me of her. Guess what I found when I looked you up? Absolutely nothing. But it’s not just you that doesn’t exist, apparently. You never gave me a full name, to be fair, so I searched your email domain. There doesn’t seem to be such a thing as an infinite library, and that paired with how blase you are about death is just… I simply don’t trust you. Stranger danger and all that.  I need some time to just process everything right now so NO I’m not okay and I don’t even know if I should be friends with some virtual stranger.

Warm Regards.

Sarah

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From A

To Sarah

Re: Re: Are you okay?

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

I understand. My company is very private and asks that we be private ourselves. I am genuinely sorry to hear about your friend. I can tell you we have a sort of program that takes all of the world’s religions and information about any person and tells you where they’re predicted to be after death. I won’t bother you after this, I respect your feelings and your reasonable boundaries. But I thought you might like to see what it predicted for Emily.

1 attachment

From A. 

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From Sarah

To A

Subject: I suck

Hey there, A…

Look, I’m sorry. I actually got over myself several months ago and I kept thinking about responding to you but the more time passed the more awkward it got and… you get it. At least, I hope you do. I was at Emily’s grave today for her anniversary, and it’s the craziest thing but… do you remember that file you sent me? The one your company program or whatever predicted? 

When I was at Emily’s grave, I saw a whole MESS of butterflies, just like the one in that little Paradise Image you sent me. And… I don’t know. I hope it’s true. I hope she’s in her own personalized Paradise, surrounded by beauty and flowers and butterflies. 

Will you forgive me? You’re my only friend now. I’m attaching a picture of the valentines card I got for E. She never met you, or emailed you, but I talked about you a lot so it’s close enough. I signed the card from both of us.

1 attachment

—

From A

To Sarah

Re: I suck

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Sarah, 

That is an impressive amount of glitter!

And of course, there is no apology needed. Of course I will be your friend, in this life as well as the next. I revisited my decision to send you that file without even asking, so please accept my apology. As it so happens, my company also has a sort of algorithm that can generate messages from your loved one. If you’d like that. I understand if it hurts too much.

Forever yours,

A.

—

From Sarah

To A

Subject: Merry Christmas!

I know you said you don’t subscribe to any one religion, but that doesn’t mean you DON’T celebrate Christmas. Anyway. It’s all been a bit commercialized to be considered religious these days. I know I said I’de never drink and email again but everyone os just soooo cheery I can’t stand it. Are you sure there’s no way we can ever meet? I’m the best at getting holiday presents. Like, Olympic medal BEST. It’s been like what, twenty years since we started being penpals? Give or take a few years when you irritate me enough to stop writing you. Your boss sohuld know by now that I’m not a corporate spy or whatever.

—

From A

To Sarah

Re: Merry Christmas

This email came from a domain outside of your organization. Please be aware of potential phishing attempts.

Happy Christmas, Sarah, 

We will meet, likely sooner than you think. In the meantime, I got you a holiday present: a recipe for curing hangovers. Based on your typing skills, I dare say you’ll need it. And if you truly wish to get me something, what about one of those poems you told me about? I know what you think of them, but I promise I am an avid lover of “terrible, moody, not even rhyming” poetry.

1 attachment

All the best,

A

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From Sarah

To A

Subject: This might be goodbye, soon

I’ve got cancer! Can you believe it? Actually, I can. It seems like everyone and their uncle is getting cancer these days. Anyway, it’s pretty advanced. It’s about time for me to retire anyway, so I decided to just skip the whole cutting and poisoning bit and start palliative care. I’m sorry we never actually got to meet. According to the doctors, there’s still a little time. A few weeks. I’m at the St. Demetrius Hospice in New York. If you want to visit.

By the way… do you still have that program you used for Emily all those years ago? Any idea where I’d end up?

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From A

To Sarah

Re: This might be goodbye soon

My dearest Sarah, 

Death can be misleading. We’ll see each other soon, I’m sure. Unfortunately, there is a policy strictly prohibiting using our software to emulate loved ones. But I’m sure you’ll love wherever you go.

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From SJG2354@InfiniteLibrary.com 

To A

Subject: coffee?

Everything about you makes sense now. I cannot BELIEVE you hid the fact that you actually work for Death IN THE UNDERWORLD from me for my WHOLE life. You jerk! To make it up to me, meet me at Que Fae Latte before work. Mister Death said we’ll be working together anyway, and you should know I’m dead to the world (lol) before I’ve had caffeine. 

(Literally) forever yours now,

Sarah