Stranger

“I’m not sure. Do you think we really need someone to come in to help?” Chad asks, not for the first time. His injury rendered him completely paralyzed. He was totally dependent on Ann for even the simplest of tasks. Scratching his cheek, blowing his nose, brushing his teeth. Every little detail of his life now depended on having someone by his side. He was alive and well, but trapped inside his own body, unable to move. It was a living nightmare. Ann’s heart broke every time she looked at him.

“If I am going to continue to work full time, then we need someone to start coming in to help me help you,” Ann says. “I’m exhausted with getting you up and ready in the morning and then worrying about you all day long, and then rushing home to take care of you in the evenings and night time. If someone was able to come in to take care of the mornings, and it sounds like this lady is willing, this would be great.”

Chad scrunches up his face, “We don’t even know her, she could be a psycho-path. Who gave you her number?”

Ann sighs, “I’m sure Helen wouldn’t have given me her name and number if she didn’t think this woman would be good. Helen said this lady took excellent care of her uncle before he passed away. She said she took care of everything. We’ll meet her first. I’m not leaving you with just any old stranger off the street!” 

_____

“Come on in and make yourself at home!” Ann greets Terri at the door. This is the first time they are meeting a home health care aide and they have no idea what to expect. They just know that things have been going south for the last several months and some extra help is needed and it is needed fast. Terri’s name came highly recommended by a friend.

Terri waltzes in and has a seat on the sofa. “You know, I think I know you guys! Did you have a child who played soccer with the Bootstraps Club? I was on the Board and you both look familiar and I think I recognize your name.”

Ann and Chad looked at each other for confirmation and shrugged their shoulders. Chad spoke first, “We did have one of our kids play for a few years, so possibly?”

“Oh! Then definitely! I never forget a face or a name! I was very involved. I like to be very active in everything that my kids are involved in, of course they are much older now, but I am still very much their mom! So, what sort of hours did you have in mind for me?”

“It will be basically just early mornings, you know, to give Ann a break. She needs to get herself to work in the mornings, so if you could step in to help out, this would be great. So, maybe six til seven?”

Ann laughs, “Chad, it takes me a lot longer than an hour to get you ready. Terri may need longer than that? You're a quadraplegic, not superman; this is why we need help. Remember?”

“I think I can handle it. You want me to start tomorrow?” Terri says.

“Perfect,” Chad says. 

I hope she remembers to take her shoes off starting tomorrow or I’ll have to start sweeping a lot more often, Ann thinks. 

___

“Ann, I set the garbage bag by the front door. You can take it out to the bin when you leave for work,” Terri says as Ann walks into the kitchen. “It was quite full; so I emptied it and put a new bag in.”

“Thank you! I really appreciate you being here and lending an extra hand. You didn’t need to do that,” Ann says as she takes her favorite mug out of the cabinet and touches the on button to warm the Keurig. She takes a K cup to insert into the machine.

“You know, if you wait until the noise stops, you get a fuller cup of coffee,” Terri says.

“Thank you, Terri, I didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing that tidbit. I’ll keep that in mind,” Ann says and slips her K cup into the slot and presses start. She can’t wait to brew her coffee and leave the kitchen.

On her way out she hears, “Don’t forget to take out the trash!”

______

Terri has gone from someone who comes for an hour a day to being in their house all day every day. In a matter of a few months, Terri is more often than not in Ann’s kitchen emptying the dishwasher or washing dishes. She is feeding the dog and chaining the dog out in the yard when he gets under her feet.

Ann wonders how she gets anything done at her own house with how many hours she spends at their house. Or has she actually moved in? No, she just acts like it. And she criticizes and critiques worse than any mother she knows!

“Are you going to eat that?”

“Do you know how bad that is for you?”

“I cleaned out your refrigerator.”

“I organized your cupboards.”

“I swept your floors.”

“I re-filled your napkin basket.”

“I cleaned out your freezer.”

“I cleaned your basement.”

“I went through all your cupboards, cabinets, files, folders, personal papers, journals, notebooks, checkbooks, statements, anything I could get my hands on…”

____

“Ann, I left a shopping list for you on the counter. We are running low on a lot of items. You need to go shopping soon,” Terri says. 

Ann finds the sticky note on the counter: Clorox wipes, Clorox bleach, Honey, Eggs (not brown), Granola...and she crunches the note in her fist. How dare she leave her a to-do list? Who is working for who?

____

Ann opens the checkbook to discover that Terri has been writing checks. She has been writing checks to herself and to others. She has been writing checks. She has been writing checks, from your bank account, and signing your husband’s name on these checks. 

“Chad, did you know Terri is using our checkbook?” He was always such a private person before this. He made sure all bank statements were and pay stubs and anything personal was tucked away before anyone came to visit. He never shared any information with anyone. Ann didn’t know most of his passwords!

“What’s that?” he says. “Oh, yeah, she’s been helping with some things around here. I asked her to.”

____

Ann retreats upstairs. At least she still has the upstairs to go to and be away from the nosy aide and prying eyes. She has privacy upstairs. No one poking through her things. No one touches her things. No one judges her. No one tells her to take out the trash! It is her own little space in the house. No one goes upstairs. For the last six months, this much at least has remained her private space.

Until one day. 

She goes upstairs to take a shower. 

“Where’s my towel?” Ann asks Chad.  

“Oh, Terri had to go grab the towel from your bathroom because she forgot to run the machine and never did any laundry so we were short on towels.”

Ann slowly takes in this new piece of information. “You asked Terri to go into my bedroom. You asked Terri to go upstairs. You asked Terri to invade my privacy. And you both felt you could just go into my bathroom and take my towel?” Ann takes a deep breath. “I see.” 

But she really didn’t. She knew she was being ridiculous. This wasn’t about a towel. It was about the invasion. It was about this woman being in her house. This woman was supposed to be a nurse's aide. This woman was supposed to take care of his needs. This woman was supposed to shower, bowel care, catheter care, oral care, and physically care for her quadraplegic husband so that she was able to be a wife the rest of the time. She had already done the caregiver role for two and a half years. It had taken its toll on their marriage. But this was killing it. 

_____

“Did Terri move into your house?” the neighbor asks Ann. “I see her car parked there all day, every day. Sometimes she is even driving your van.”

Ann groans, “I know. She is there from five in the morning until well after four in the afternoon. At least five days a week. She was supposed to be in for an hour or two a day to help with showering and dressing in the morning. Somehow, she has completely taken over my house.”

“That’s just wrong. She is overstepping her boundaries. She is your employee. She is a stranger! What does Chad think?” the neighbor asks.

“Don’t get me started. He thinks she is great…” Ann says.

____

It’s a late spring day when Ann comes in with a bag of groceries. 

Chad asks, “Did you get everything on Terri’s list?”

“Everything but the honey as we already had that in the cupboard. She must not have seen that,” Ann says. “It’s freezing out there! My car thermometer read 39 degrees!”

“Wow! Good thing we still have the furnace on!” Chad jokes.

Ann walks further into the house to set the bag on the kitchen counter. She hears Terri mutter a number but she doesn’t respond. Terri is seated at Chad’s computer, with several sheets of paper in her hand. Ann begins to empty out the bag and put the items away when Terri repeats herself two more times: 42. FORTY-TWO. 

“I’m sorry?” Ann asks. She isn’t sure if Terri is speaking to her or the computer or to herself trying to remember a number to type in. And why is she sitting at her husband’s computer when he isn’t even in the room anyway? 

Terri looks at Ann, “The temperature outside is not 39; it is 42.” She locks gazes and then goes straight back to working on the computer.

Ann, silently reprimanded for her mistake, puts the remaining groceries away and leaves the room to go up to her room. Terri has been in their house for nine months, but it feels more like nine years.

____

One night Ann threw a load of clothes into the washing machine before going to bed. She did not get downstairs quickly enough in the morning to move the load over to the dryer, so she found her clothes, her wet clothes, thrown on the floor in front of the machine. Terri felt she needed to take her clothes out. The washing machine was not running. The washing machine was not being used for a new load. Terri just needed to take Ann’s clothes out and throw them on the floor.  

“Terri, I’m sorry I didn’t get down here to move my clothes over to the dryer before you got here. But I see you haven’t even started the next load yet so I am not sure why you felt you needed to move my clothes. My clothes could have stayed right where they were.”

“I had to put that stuff in there,” she said.  

“You could have laid those clothes on top of the machine, just like any other time. Chad’s clothes could have waited like any other normal time,” Ann said. Was it an emergency to get those clothes put inside the washing machine this morning? She couldn’t have put mine in the dryer?  

“That’s it, my last day will be Friday,” Terri said.

Chad begged her to stay. Ann wonders what exactly he promised her in exchange for her staying. She now knows she isn’t allowed to use her own washing machine or dryer. She will need to start going to the laundromat. Terri has made certain she is not welcome. The washing machine and dryer are not for Ann to use. The house is not Ann’s house. Terri has taken over.

____

The new lawn mower arrives and Ann can’t wait to get outside over the weekend. Spring has arrived along with the sunshine. She has plans to get the grass cut and spread some mulch in the flower beds. And, she wants to go get some annuals to plant in pots around the house. She thinks some on the front porch will look colorful and friendly. 

Ann wakes with a smile and stretches. She is wondering what color flowers she should buy for the pots when she hears Terri’s voice outside her bedroom window. Terri is in her backyard with the lawnmower and is mowing the grass. Her grass.  Terri is in her yard, at her house, on a weekend. Terri has taken yet another part of her household responsibilities away from her. Ann rolls over and pulls the blanket over her head. She has nothing left. The house is completely gone from her. In a blink of an eye, in less than a year, the home that she and her husband took twenty years to build, Terri swooped in and took over. Her home is gone. Somehow she has become the stranger in the house.

She hears a message ping on her cell phone. 

It’s a text from her neighbor:

Your sister-wife is there again. Want to come over here?

Home sweet, not home.