Beautiful Lie

He flashed a smile at me and my whole world stuttered to a stop.

I gingerly stepped to the window and opened it, so James would be able to make his way into my room. Alas it wasn’t as easy of a task considering he was over a hundred years old, but with a few struggles interspersed by a couple of giggles, he managed to climb into my room. Lucky for this old chap that my room was on the ground floor, I thought to myself. This thought then managed to send a spike of sadness into my heart as I was reminded of the fact that we were separated in the old folks’ home, no matter the fact that we belong to each other for the rest of our lives.

“ Hey there darling. What’s with the sad face?” he asked me as he wiped a stray tear that had leaked from the corner of my eye.

I cracked a small smile at that, his fingers as gentle as ever on my aged skin. James, my sweetheart since we were but foolish teens, trying to navigate the bigger world outside of our small quaint town. “Nothing, my dear. I just thought about how we promised to stay together but then separated in what will probably be the last moments of my life,” I took his hand in mine and kissed his calloused palm.

“ Hush now, don’t say such things. Tonight is a special night, remember? I came all this way so we could celebrate you turning hundred years old. For tonight, let us not dwell on the what could be but instead enjoy the time we have together,” he said while pulling me into his arms.

Oh, how I missed this feeling. The warm sensation in my veins when I was in the loving embrace of the man most important to me. With his arms around me, shielding me from the world, I felt safe and as if come what may, I will face them with courage. I looked up at him and like always, he understood what I was conveying even with no words passing through my dry chapped lips.

“ It is nearly twelve, darling. Look,” he said, pointing to the clock hanged on my wall, “ I have plans for us tonight but we must be silent. If the nurses sees us, you will be in trouble. Come now, follow me”.

He pulled away from me but kept my hand in his as he started making his way out of the window again. The next few moments took me back to our youth when we used to sneak out of my room, desperate to get a moment together, trying to quiet ours footsteps as to not wake my father up. I smiled at the beautiful memory as we climbed out of my room.

As we stood outside the window, I took a deep breath and let the crisp midnight air feel my lungs. Something smells fresh and new tonight, a mark of magic happening in the air. The was a sinister undertone that I should have heeded but this night I chose to shake it off.

With my hand in his firm grip, James began making his way through the bushes outside my window until we finally reached the garden grown at the back of the folks’ home. We stood at a small clearing illuminated by the bright light of the moon. As we stood there, we could hear the distant ringing of the church bell, indicating its already midnight.

“ Happy birthday, my dear. I know that you know but I just wanted to remind you that I love you. No matter what happened or what will, remember that I will always be there for you even when you cant see me. Oh, except when it comes to changing diapers,” James said, his voice clear with mirth mixed with melancholy, in the dead of night.

This time nothing could have stopped my tears. I let out a bark, or more like a squeak, of laughter and threw my hands around him. He smiled that dazzling smile that swept me off my feet a long time ago and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. These lips that haven’t met his for a while but still knows the feeling of how they fit together seamlessly, regardless of the passing age and time.

I know many of you have not yet lived to be a hundred nor will you even reach that age but it was the best moment of my life, knowing that I had spent the better part of a century loving him.

Then he did something that just turned the best night of my life into the dream night of every girl everywhere. He started singing our song while holding me in his arms and rocking me along to the lyrics. The tears flow freely down my face now, beads of pearls glistening in the pale moonlight. It matters not that his voice wasn’t as smooth as it used to be, it was still special to me. I joined in after a few lines, our old cracked voice filling the deathly silence with the loving words of our serenade,only for each others’ ears and fulfillment.

My train of thought took me back to decades ago, when James was drafted for the army. It was the Second World War, and he was but a fresh young boy, dreaming of marrying his girl. But the war was ruthless and heartless, taking him away fro me for a few years. I remembered too vividly, the memory of standing at the train station, saying goodbye to the love of my life, not knowing if I ever were to see him again.

Those moments on the platform were bittersweet to me but I will forever hold it close to my heart. I was a mess on that day, my eyes bloodshot from too much crying for days. James just smiled his smile at me, trying to be strong, but I see his heart breaking through his eyes with every sob wrenched for my body.

He took a few steps back which had me reaching out for him but he stopped my hands mid air. I was too heartbroken to wonder why and I didn’t really care at that moment but then my whole world shifted. He knelt on the soot ridden platform and asked for my hand in marriage, witnessed by nearly everyone in our town and the other drafted soldiers. He pulled out a simple metal band, shining with a silver colour that stole my breath away. The crowd cheered for us as I nodded and as we kissed on that platform.

“ I do not know what will happen but if anything happens to me, I want to know that you are already mine as much as how my whole being belongs to you. But know one thing,sweetheart, I will try my best to come home to you. Nothing will stand between us as long as I live,” he whispered to me as we held each other.

Little did I know that that was the last time I was going to see him in a while. Every single day, with nothing to occupy my thoughts nor my time, I prayed to the Lord to keep him safe and protect him from all evil. From the moment the sun shines on a brand new day until the last candle went out in my home at night, I did not stop worrying for his safety. But as we promised to each other on the platform, he came back to me, nothing stood in our way.

I was pulled out of my fantasy by James tugging furiously at my hand. “ Grace, we need to leave. I think I heard the nurses coming,” he whispered urgently but as we looked into each others’ eyes, we both grinned.

What followed was a rush of fumbling and tripping over our own feet as we tried to navigate our way back to my room without getting caught. I felt young and free again, a feeling that I did not experience whenever James was not by my side. Sure enough the glares of torch lights could be seen along with the furious voice Nurse Francessa.

“ I heard someone out here. Whoever you are, you better come out now or you will regret it,” she shouted but by that time we had safely reached my window again.

I tried to stifle my giggles as James helped me in through the window. I turned around to pull him in with me but I stopped dead in my tracks. He had a sad smile on his face, the only expression that I wish I could wipe away but I couldn’t as disbelief started seeping in my bones.

“ No, no, no. Not yet, please, no. It cant be time already is it,” I pleaded desperately my my eyes roam frantically for the clock, but my heart dropped to my feet as the hour clock struck 2.

“ No, James, please don’t leave me yet. Please don’t take him now,” I tried to reach for him but his body started to fade away, the man I love now nothing more than a faint outline.

I let out a piercing scream as I tore at my hair, not caring if it brought the nurses to my room. The ugly truth was that James did come home to me, just not in the way I wanted. I didn’t want him back pale, all blood drained form his body. I didn’t want him back with blisters all over his handsome face nor scars on his tanned body. I didn’t want him back in a suit, a luxury only saved for marriages or deaths. I didn’t want him back in a coffin, lying still without a single twitch, so different from the man I love. The truth, like a slap in my face, was that he lied to me. He didn’t come back to me alive like he promised.

On his burial day, I wore my dress, the one I would have worn on my wedding day. White and pure, the opposite of the emotions raging inside me. Everyone stared at me with pity but I just gazed into his lifeless face. “ I’m sorry,” I started.

“ I’m so sorry, my dear, that we have to part like this. I hate you. You left me alone when you promised that you would come home me. You promised that we would belong to each other. Remember our plans that summer night. We were going to get married in your parents’ barn. We were going to have exactly three children with eyes like mine and smiles like yours. You would go to work for our family and I would nurture our children. We promised to stay with each other until we are old, remember? You liar. Now who’s going to stay with me? Who’s going to do stupid things so I can tell him ‘I told you so’? Who’s going to call me pretty when I look like I just rolled out of bed? Who’s going to love me as much as you love me? Who’s going to wipe my tears and hold me close while telling me everything’s gonna be okay? Who’s going to grow old with me, while we tease each other’s gray hair?” I was choking on my sobs but I refused to leave his grave for a few hours.

When I left, it was only because I thought of a retreat from the nightmare my life had become. An idea so taboo that no one talked to me again but it was okay as long as I get to see him one last time, or so I told myself.

I turned to the devil for help. Every year, on my birthday, I would get to see James for two hours. But as a trade, he would be free to possess my body to do his bidding for a day. My body would then be used by the devil as his vessel on earth to do all his horrible acts. I never learned to live with the guilt even after decades of the same cycle.

The illusion of happiness with James to lure me into a comfort zone before the Devil went on a killing spree, masked by my body, to make the experience better for his twisted enjoyment. As James faded away into the night, a sinister black shape, darker than the darkest of nights, with glowing red eyes, like the fires of hell, took shape.

He flashed a smile at me and my whole world stuttered to a stop.