Contest #139 winner 🏆

buried in saipan

Submitted into Contest #139 in response to: Format your story in the style of diary entries.... view prompt

192 comments

Sad East Asian Historical Fiction

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

There are still rusted bayonets to be found in the dirt.

Alongside broken firearms, canteens, and bullet-struck helmets. At times, still attached to skeletons. The deep-sea team would occasionally find a corroded tank or the remains of a submarine acting as an aquarium. Fighter planes would turn up far off in the mountains, a surprise to climbers.

Rare was it that Hisao found letters buried in Saipan.

He dropped his shovel and knelt, the archaeology team at work behind him—industrial lights illuminated the tunnel with a silver glow. Brushing the dirt from his find, Hisao picked up a timeworn book with a withered cover. A loose page stuck out from the side.

I’m going to surrender at dawn… a sentence read.

“I got somethi…” 

Hisao trailed off. Curiosity once again bested him. With careful fingers, he opened the book and read off the first page. 


June 2nd, 1944.

The Americans can have this island, for all I care.

I’m tired. We’re spending the day digging trenches near the beach. The hot sun beams down on us, and we have little water or rice to ration. If we don’t work hard enough, we get shouted at. One word out of place and we’re beaten.

If there is any silver lining, it is the sun’s reflection on the clear waters. The sound of calm waves on the shore. Even as bugs swarm me, I cherish the view. It is breathtaking.

My candlelight fades. This bedroll does little to cushion the dirt.

I hope the centipedes stay away from me.


Hisao turned to the next page. His crew continued the work behind him, a wheelbarrow rolling by with crushed rock.


June 8th, 1944.

Mashiro’s playing cards were found. An officer brought him outside, and he came back bloodied. I fear this journal will be found as well, yet my thoughts are loud, and the nights are quiet. Nothing I write in a letter home would make it through censors. 


June 11th, 1944.

I’ve never been an accurate shot. The bruises from the cane are still sore—the officer threatened to keep rations from all of us unless I improve my aim in practice. Another told us we will target the medics when we see them. Americans would risk one life to save another. I’m going to falter when the time comes. 


June 13th, 1944

Despite being surrounded by hundreds of my brethren, it is very lonely. 

Not all see the beauty of life as I do. 


Hisao turned the page. The handwriting on the next grew shaky, as if written in a hurry.


June 15th, 1944

It’s a habit to number the year, even when I have doubts I’ll make it to the next one. 

I’m not going to sleep tonight. Warships bombard the shores. Planes drone overhead, the bombs whistle, and the grounds tremble. Soon it will be me on the front lines. I fear I don’t want I am ready when the time comes.


June 17th, 1944

One of the Americans is in our captivity. He was shot in the gut. We I dragged him into our dugout and bandaged him. The officers will question him come morning. With what little English I know, I found time to speak with him.

His voice shook as we talked, as he hung onto threads of life. I told Alan I grew up in a small town in Osaka, while he spoke of Ohio—a sprawling city with tall apartments. He would’ve been sent to Germany along with his friends, but drew the short end of the stick. He laughed at his joke and I laughed too.

Alan is asleep now. His breathing fades—I don’t think he’ll wake up.

I’m glad I could see him smile.


June 18th, 1944

The last thing Alan did was hand me a letter, asking me to deliver it to his mother in any way I could. When I read it over, I could only realize how similar it was to mine.

It made me question,

what am I fighting for?


Hisao exhaled, then pushed the loose page back into place.


June 22nd, 1944

I’m going to surrender at dawn.

I will fake a stomach problem, then run off. The white cloth I carry will state my peace to the Americans. I am terrified. The last man to mention the word ‘surrender’ was beaten until he couldn't stand, left as an example to us.

But I cannot take the trepidation of battle any longer.

I sit alone with my thoughts until the sun rises.


Turning one too far, Hisao stared at a blank page. The entries had stopped. He turned back to the final one, dated more than a week after the last—three days before America claimed their victory.


July 6th, 1944 

My right eye is still blackened—I can no longer see with it. The officer who beat me is now leading a reckless charge against the Americans. A final stand for control of the island. I, with a few others, am left behind to burn our documents in the cave.

I will not.

Among the documents are letters. Dozens. Addressed to families and loved ones. Ones that were never sent. Words never spoken. Instead, I shall bury them alongside this journal, and hope for it to one day be found.

The order then is to take our own lives. Grenades have been left for us—we will pull the pin, then hold them to our chest. It will be quick and painless. I can only hope, that in the afterlife, I am set apart from those who took joy in this conflict.

Until my words are read,

Koji.


Hisao sighed. He closed the book, then reached for a bag to seal it in.

“I found something,” he called. His coworkers stepped forward. Hisao handed one the sealed bag, then reached in front with both hands. He swept back the dirt, promptly hitting the old leather of a satchel. 

Cameras clicked around him. Another archaeologist dropped to help. They pulled the satchel from the ground, and the string wrapped around it came loose.

Out rained handfuls of letters.

March 29, 2022 01:45

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192 comments

16:31 Apr 08, 2022

What a great story. It was full of despair, yet somehow demonstrated hope. My highest compliments.

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Alex Sultan
21:49 Apr 08, 2022

Very kind of you, Dorajane. I'm glad you liked it.

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Renee Shie
16:18 Apr 08, 2022

Very moving and thought provoking. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you.

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Alex Sultan
21:50 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you for the kind words, Renee. All the best.

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16:16 Apr 08, 2022

Congrats on the win! It was very deserved! This was beautiful! I choked up while reading. It was such an immersive and well-done piece. Thank you for sharing!

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Alex Sultan
21:50 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you! I'm glad the emotion came across. I appreciate the read and comment, Abigail, it is very kind of you 🙂

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Mike Lavine
16:06 Apr 08, 2022

Very well written; I really enjoyed this. And congrats on the win!

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Alex Sultan
21:52 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you for reading, Mike. I appreciate it.

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Cindy Strube
16:00 Apr 08, 2022

Congratulations! Your stories are very compelling. This one meant a lot to me - as I mentioned, I’ve stood on the site of the war memorials on Saipan and Guam. Glad to see this as a winner!

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Alex Sultan
21:53 Apr 08, 2022

It's always nice to hear this story resonated with you! I hope to visit Saipan myself someday. Thank you for the kind words.

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Suma Jayachandar
15:35 Apr 08, 2022

Congratulations! Alex, a well deserved win!! It was such a timely and timeless tale narrated in your trademark style- deceptively simple yet profound.

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Alex Sultan
21:52 Apr 08, 2022

Your comment is so kind, Suma. I'm glad you liked the piece and my style came through. I'm very happy with this one 🙂

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Irene Ivy
15:34 Apr 08, 2022

Well done, Alex! You brought me into the story and into Hisao's head. I could see the diary entries through his eyes. I felt him shudder, or maybe I shuddered. It was hard to tell! this was written from a great perspective! I'm excited to read more stories from you!

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Alex Sultan
22:00 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you, Irene. I appreciate you reading through this one. I'm glad my take on the perspective worked out 🙂

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Shelby B
15:30 Apr 08, 2022

Congrats on the win!

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Alex Sultan
21:54 Apr 08, 2022

I appreciate the comment, Shelby.

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Angel Vargas
15:23 Apr 08, 2022

Well done in all aspects. Not many can do a war journal type story justice. Congratulations on the win! Most creative!

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Alex Sultan
22:00 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you, Angel. I went through a couple ideas of what the journal would be about and switched between Korea, Japan, or Germany. I'm glad this worked out.

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Shea West
15:13 Apr 08, 2022

So freaking excited that you won Alex!!!!

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Alex Sultan
21:54 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you, Shea. I didn't expect this one to win, to be honest! It was a nice surprise.

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Felice Noelle
15:00 Apr 08, 2022

Alex: Congratulations on a much-deserved win. I really enjoyed it and felt you did such a good job highlighting Japan again. Keep these stories coming. Maureen

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Alex Sultan
22:01 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you! I appreciate the comment as always - it is nice to hear you liked it.

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Dan Montesi
17:02 Apr 07, 2022

Alex, I liked the story. My uncle was in the pacific theater during the war. He never spoke of the horrors he saw while there, only that they weren't fit to discuss. My mother as a little girl sneaked into his room and went through photos he had taken and she had trouble trying to forget what she saw. Your story had a great sense of place and timelessness. Bravo.

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Alex Sultan
22:03 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you, Dan. I can't imagine what your uncle witnessed - Imperial Japan was one of the darkest moments of mankind. I appreciate you reading through this one.

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Shea West
18:07 Apr 04, 2022

I think one of my favorite lines was, "It’s a habit to number the year, even when I have doubts I’ll make it to the next one." It's quite meaningful and speaks to the idea of, how long do we really have here on earth especially if we're in war? Alex, I admire your ability to write such timeless pieces in a way that do not bore me. Historical can be so hard to write and to read! Thank you for making it enjoyable, and something I actually look forward to now! You're incredibly talented. I listened to your episode on Read Lots, Write Lots...

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Alex Sultan
16:11 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you, Shea. I appreciate the kind words. I've always considered myself a Fantasy or Thriller writer, and never really expected my Historical Fiction works to get such positive feedback. It is so kind of you. I'm glad you liked the story.

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Mister X
15:59 Apr 04, 2022

Alex, as a man who wore the uniform I don't see how this story can be considered anti-war. Soldiers know more completely than anyone that there is a human story on the other side of the battle line but we fight anyway because the greater good must be served. We know that old men send young men to die but we also know that there is honor in the sacrifice. No one wishes for war but wars will always be fought and heroes fight so others don't have to. And I can tell you from experience that some of the greatest moments in life are lived in foxho...

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Alex Sultan
15:42 Apr 05, 2022

Hello friend, I'm sorry this story didn't resonate with you. I do think you are correct - I did somewhat mislabel this as an 'anti-war' story. I meant nothing negative by it, and I understand Japan was most definitely on the wrong side of history. I hope it didn't come across as the opposite. You are right in saying that at times, wars must be fought for the sake of the greater good. Nevertheless, I appreciate the read, and you putting your thoughts into a comment - it is feedback I value and will take into note for the next war story I writ...

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Mister X
21:00 Apr 08, 2022

Alex, I loved your story. It was so well written and full of emotion. I just didn't see it as anti-war.

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Hen Neralany
07:07 Apr 04, 2022

This is absolutely amazing, so very well-written, a clear winner for this week surely.

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Alex Sultan
15:43 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you, Hen. Your comment is very kind 🙂 I wanted to update this comment, and say, I guess you called it.

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Hi Alex. Today I remembered a book I read not too long ago, Island of the World, by Michael D. O'Brien. The story reminds me of the ones you write - about people and war and what life means. I think you would enjoy it. Michael D. O'Brien is a Canadian author whose writing I enjoy. I pray you are well.

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22:51 Apr 03, 2022

Poignant and reflective. You just write so beautifully, with such an intelligence and grace. Always an Alex Sultan fan!

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Alex Sultan
15:44 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you, friend. Your comments are always so kind. I'm very glad to have you as a fan 🙂

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15:22 Apr 08, 2022

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S This was an absolute win. You are one of the best writers on Reedsy (and probably North America) So thrilled for you!

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Alex Sultan
18:48 Apr 08, 2022

Thank you! I'll be honest with you, friend, I did not expect this one to get first place. I appreciate the kind words.

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19:30 Apr 08, 2022

The win is overdue. You churn out gold every week. Thrilled for you!

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Craig Westmore
21:44 Apr 03, 2022

I really enjoy your WWII stories, Alex. My only complaint with this one is that I wanted more letters to read! And while I mean that as a compliment, I think more letters would give us a deeper sense of who Koji is and why he wants to surrender.

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Alex Sultan
15:59 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you for the comment. I appreciate the feedback, I do agree, looking it over, another entry or two could add more depth to the story. One of the challenges of the prompt to me was avoiding repetition in the journal entries - I find the same thing can only be said so many times, but I do see what you're saying and will take note of it. Thanks for reading.

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Craig Westmore
00:49 Apr 06, 2022

I don't think you can expect a massive change of character in a short story where he's patriotic and then wants to surrender. That's for a novel. But you could have him start out with doubts about the war and then a journal entry of some event (e.g. cruel officers) convinces him to give up.

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Craig Westmore
11:39 Apr 12, 2022

Congrats on the win Alex!

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Alex Sultan
01:37 Apr 13, 2022

thank you!

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Hi Alex! Once again, I really enjoyed this story. I think you did a good job interspersing the diary entries with the activity around Hisao, just the right lengths and placements. The little bits you put in about him, especially his curiosity, make it obvious that he has a life beyond this story. Good choice of opening and closing words. Excellent job. I like to think they found one skeleton with a bullet hole, instead of a grenade-blasted chest, in the cave. A few critiques: [still attached to their skeleton.] I would make it {skeletons...

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Alex Sultan
15:37 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate it - especially calling me out on 'June 22th'. I don't know how that got through, and I wouldn't have noticed it without your comment. I do like the changes to the skeleton line a lot too. Admittedly, I struggled with that one. Also, 'cannot' sounds a lot more poetic than 'can not' in the context. These are all great changes. I'm really looking forward to your next story. Will you continue the Tour Guide series anytime soon? And, I'll definitely check out Island of the World. Thanks for the su...

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I am well, thank you. I am working on more stories for the DCRL series, but I haven’t been able to finish them in time for the prompt. Hopefully I’ll post more soon. :)

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Cindy Strube
02:44 Apr 02, 2022

Took me back to Saipan… A week in Guam included a (long) day trip to Saipan. There are so many relics of the war, and just a solemn feeling hovering around the sites: caves where soldiers hid, monolithic memorial stones at the top of the suicide cliffs (with fresh garlands at their bases). And around it, lush tropical beauty. From the beginning, you brought it to life. Well done!

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Alex Sultan
16:13 Apr 05, 2022

Thank you, Cindy. I'm glad the story worked for you & I appreciate the kind words.

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