Being Me

Wake up in the morning, take a shower and brush my teeth. Feed the cats then eat my breakfast, then go online and hope my friend is there. He been gone for a couple of days, and I was worried. Not to mention lonely.

Sure, I am married but he is busy with his work most the time. I sigh and start drawing to pass the time. I look at my drawings and smile, they always have a way of making me feel good. Then I try to work on one of my stories, but find I don't have much muse for it. Sometimes I wish I had more friends, and people I could hang out with. Talking is difficult for me. I always feel I am boring, or people are going to think what I say is stupid.

Today we are going to do something, I was happy. We pass a sign that says Magical Holiday Fair! I can't help thinking that seems better than what we were going to do, which is just going out to lunch. I ask him about going, but he says we have not much time and he has to do work. When we get home from eating, I ask if I can take a taxi to go by myself. He shrugs and says sure. So, I go and well it's not what I expect.

There's a lot of holiday stuff, but it isn't very magical. Of course not, this is reality after all! I look at the stuff, bored and nothing seems interesting. I am not really into Christmas decorations. Then, I see a guy at the corner selling jewelry. Now that seems like something I could get into! I look at it, and most of it is stuff like little Christmas lights and red and green stuff. Something catches my eye, it is not too holiday like, it is a deer with diamonds on it and sapphires for eyes. I pick it up. I see a sign near it. You will be like a different person when wearing the Christmas deer! I look at the price, it's decent. I look at the guy selling it. “I would like this!”

He smiled and takes my money. “You will love it, now can you do me a favor and make a wish you would like for Christmas?”

I blink, I am not sure what to say. “Uh I guess so, um I wish I could have a stuffed dragon or some unique stuffed animal.”

He shakes his head. “I mean something special, something you want at the bottom of your heart.”

I think of what I really want. “Uh, do I have to say it out loud?”

“No, you can just think of it and then hold the necklace and say out loud I wish.” he nodded

This whole thing was strange, but I play along, I think to myself. I wish I was more outgoing, had more friends, and had an easier time doing things that was new for fun. “I wish!”

He chuckled. “Well thank you for doing that for me, if you wear this on Christmas you will get a surprise.”

I nod, thinking this guy was a little crazy. I go home and put it with my other necklaces and such which I really rarely wear. Days went by pretty normally, I had a lot of things I had to do, appointments and such. Not much fun besides going to book groups. I can't wait until I finally go back to school, which I never thought I would ever feel like!

Then, the day came. Christmas! I heard a strange twinkling noise come from my jewelry case. I opened it and didn't see what was making that sound. It must be my imagination. I saw the deer, I remembered what the guy said and decided to wear it. I went to my family function, I felt odd and awkward and out of the loop like usual. A little I hoped the necklace would make me feel different. Some people made comments on it, and I thanked them.

I went to go online after the festivities were over. I went to bed, sighing. I knew I had to change myself, but it was going way too slow for me. Even though I disliked my mother, I wished the way it was that I looked more like dad and had my mother's outgoing attitude instead of the other way around. Mom's looks and dad's shyness.

The morning, I woke up and everything looked different. I blinked as I went to the mirror and saw a skinny redheaded woman. This must be a dream I thought, pinching my arm. Yikes, I felt that. Was this real? How could I look like this? Where was I? Was I even me?

I walked into my living room, and saw what looked like an older version of the guy I had a crush on in middle school. I stared and screamed. “Ahh I am going to call the cops!” I then ran looking for my cell phone.

“Valerie? Are you alright?” the guy asked seeming confused about how I was acting. That was what I was almost named. Why was he saying that so calmly, who was this guy?

“My name is Ruth, not Valerie. Who are you?” I looked around feeling scared, but curious at the same time.

“Ha ha, nice joke. I am your husband Micheal, silly!” he goes over to hug me. What? Husband? He didn't look like him at all. And my husband's name is James, not Micheal.

“It's not a joke, my husband is James. I think something weird happened...” I looked for something to drink, and poured a cup of juice shaking.

“OK, so you think you are named Ruth with a husband James...are you OK honey?” he sat next to me, worried. This guy must not be a robber like I first thought to be so concerned about me.

“I don't think, I am! Who is this Valerie person? Who are you ,where am I?” I sipped the drink trying to calm down.

“Oh man, it seems maybe you got your bipolar effecting you. Do you need to go to the doctor?” He held my hand looking in my eyes.

Ok, so this Valerie had bipolar like me. “I don't think so, please tell me more about me. I know that is an odd thing to request. “

“Well you are a computer programmer, you have lots of friends and you are adventurous. You like to go to church. You are kind, sweet, loving...just wonderful!” he looked at me. “Is that good enough description?”

Computer Programmer? That is what my dad did, but I was no good with math or stuff like that at all. This Valerie was like how I wished to be almost, except I would of hoped to be a better artist instead of wanting to be as smart as dad was. I would of liked to be that smart too, though.

“Uh yeah, sorry I just had a weird dream last night. I dreamed I was someone named Ruth who was a hopeful Children's book author and shy.” man, this was weird. Am I in some alternate reality or something? How in the heck and I supposed to do Valerie's job. Micheal was going to notice I was not like this Valerie person. I would be thrown in the mental hospital if he knew the truth though.

“I see, sounds like an interesting dream. So what was your husband like? Better than me?” he chuckled.

“Uh, nobody could be better than you, not even in a dream.” I kissed him.

“Aww, that is a sweet thing to say dear. Oh, you better wake up Michelle, she seems to be sleeping in.” he kissed back.

Oh man, who was Michelle? Was she my daughter? How was I supposed to act towards a girl I had no idea about? Oh man, this was getting more and more bad. “Uh could you wake her up honey, I am feeling a bit odd this morning.”

“OK, well get breakfast ready and I will wake her up.” he heads out. I go and look at the pictures in the house, of me and Micheal and my daughter. She has brown, hair and eyes and freckles. Very cute. I look on the fridge hoping some school assignments are on there so I can figure out more about her, but it is pretty clean. I then look to see what things was for breakfast. I make some waffles and cereal. I sit down rubbing my temples.

The girl goes to eat her breakfast. “Hey mom, dad said you were having an off day.”

I nod, trying to seem normal but know I am different than who they know. “Yeah, I think I forgot to take my meds last night.”

She giggles. “You always say that doesn't affect you though, skipping it one day.”

“Uh, yeah your right.” I finish my breakfast after a while. Was I stuck in this life? Did Valerie take over for me?

“Can I go to my friends house so we can play our new games mom? P;ease!” she looks at me with begging eyes.

“Your friend is probably spending time with her family right now, since it is Christmas.”

She blinks. “Huh, what you talking about mom? It isn't Christmas.”

“It isn't? Uh that was my dream making me think it was.” I look nervous, oh man everything was different!

“So can I go mom?” she looks at me. “I wanna play with Sarah!”

“Uh sure I guess so?” I look out the window, it's sunny outside. It felt warm too. It must be summer.

“Yeah thanks mom!” she kisses me. “Can you drive me there?”

Oh man, I can't drive. “Uh maybe you should ask your father.”

“He's going to work though...he can't take me there.” she tugs my sleeve. “Come on mom.”

“Uh...” I didn't know what to do, if I didn't drive they would know something was wrong. “OK dear, you will just have to remind me where your friend lives.”

I get out my keys from my purse, and look wondering which one opened the car. I was beginning to wish I was back in my old life, since driving really freaked me out, I was sure I would get in an accident. I tried the keys one by one, and she watched me. “Mom what are you doing? This is the key to open the door.” she pointed at it.

“Oh yeah, right.”I open the door, now it is the time to find the one to start it. Fumble with the keys, and she looks at me weirdly.

“Mom are you alright?Maybe you shouldn't be driving..”

“Uh, yeah I think you should skip it today, or invite her here?” I suggested

“Oh that would be awesome, I am going to call her.” she ran inside and called her friend.

This living another person's life was harder than I thought! I guess I figured I would know the things they did. I sat down, dreading to have to go to work...I knew I would get Valerie fired. It was going to be even worse than that I knew, once they saw I had a totally different personality then her. If only someone would believe me. I looked at my phone book at the names of the people who were my friends, Fauna Diamond, the name jumped out at me because of the necklace. Was this some sort of sign she would believe me? I called the number and heard an older woman's voice.

“Hello? Valerie it is sure nice to hear from you! How are you?” the woman must have caller ID or something.

“I am confused. I have something weird to say, I am not sure you will believe it or you will just think I lost it.” I crossed my fingers.

“Tell me about it, please​? You know you can say anything to me.”

I tell her the story about the necklace and everything. The other line is quiet for a bit.

“I believe you, I mean it sounds wild but you don't sound like you do when you are having an episode.” what a relief! Someone believed my story!

“I don't know what to do, I can't drive or do the things Valerie can, they will...toss me in a loony bin forever!” I start crying.

“Calm down dear, there has got to be a way for you to get back to being Ruth. Are you still wearing the necklace?”

I sigh. “No I woke up without it, hey you think there is another one that sends me back?”

“Perhaps we should look for a fair selling necklaces? I will come over and help. I will be there in a bit.” she hangs up, and I sigh a bit. What is the chances of finding this guy in summer? Maybe a Christmas in July thing?

She knocks on the door and I answer. I look seeing a woman who looks like my friend at home but more sophisticated. “Uh you must be Fauna?”

“Yes, well let's go look.” she heads out to her car and I go in.

“Thanks for helping me, and believing in me.” I look at her, wishing I knew a way to repay her kindness.

“Well what are friends for?” we drive and I spot a sign that looked like the one at home.

“That's it! We should go there.” Fauna looked at the sign and headed to the fair.

“Hum, he should be in the corner booth?” I see him and walk over. “Hey I want a necklace to go back home!”

“Hum, what do you mean?” he then comes closer and whispers. “We need to talk in private.”

“She already knows about the necklace, just tell me how to go home.” I glare at him in no mood for messing around

“You will return tonight if you wish to go back to your old life on this necklace.” he points to a sapphire deer with one diamond eye.

“Sold, hey you want to try a different life Fauna?” I ask her in jest.

“Uh not if it is as confusing as you said it was.” she chuckled.

“I was joking.” I put the necklace on after buying it. “I guess I just have to get through this day, hey why don't we spend it together​?”

“Sounds good, that way you don't have to pretend to be Valerie for your family.” she nodded.

I get my cell phone and call Micheal to tell him I am spending the day with Fauna, he seems to be OK with it. So, we go shopping but I don't buy anything, since I am sure Valerie has a different taste in things than I do. When the night comes she drops me off. “Thanks Fauna, you are a good friend.” I hug her

“I try, good luck getting home.” she hugs me back

I go in, and Micheal smiles. “Have a good day shopping dear? I fixed dinner for you.”

“Oh thanks. I had a good time, I bought this necklace.” I show him

“Hum, not the type of thing you usually get! I like it though.” he nodded

I eat dinner and spend time with Michelle, since I wanted to have some practice with kids since me and James are thinking of adopting. We have fun playing with her dolls, and pretending. She smiled. “You seem different mommy, usually you don't play this way.”

“Well I will be back to myself tomorrow I am sure.” I sigh, thinking she didn't like the way I played

“Oh, well I enjoyed it. It's different not bad, maybe we can try playing like this some other time.”

I smile and hug her. “Well maybe you can remind me some other time about what we did.”

Would they even remember this day with me or forget it? What did Valerie do in my life? She must have been terribly bored.

I snuggle up to Micheal yawning. “Sorry I wasn't quite me today...guess that dream really got to me.”

“It's OK, I understand.” he hugged me and we went to sleep.

The next day I wake up in my bed, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I look at my sleeping husband and kiss him. “I will never wish to be someone else again, that's for sure...” I whispered.

The End.