A Cat Who Subverts Expectations

There was an old man named “Grandpa” who owns a bar near Aon Center in California. His life was pretty boring, serving drinks all day, cleaning the floors, etc. Until one day when he was sitting in a chair at the counter’s table, he encountered a black cat that entered in his bar and sat at one of the chairs near the counter’s table. He didn’t really care, but then the cat said

“One shot of whisky pleases”

Grandpa was in shock, but he just gave the cat its order because he thought he was just drunk

“Cheers!” The cat said

Grandpa and the cat talked about their lives and how was it going until sunset. The cat’s life was pretty happy while Grandpa’s life was pretty boring. The cat was shocked because he never knew anyone whose life was boring until he met Grandpa. The cat then told him a joke to cheer him up.

“Hey, why did the chicken cross the road?” The cat asked

“I don’t know,” Grandpa replied

“Because she saw Henry on the other side,” The cat said “Get it? Because hen in Henry sounds like the chicken hen?”

“I need to go,” Grandpa replied

“Me too,” The cat said

Grandpa then closed the bar and the cat left. While grandpa was closing the bar and the cat already left the place, he remembered he didn’t drink any drinks that day. He was in shock, but then he said

“Wait, maybe I am not drunk, but dreaming,” He thought

He then slapped his face to test if he was dreaming, but the force of his slap was too strong that it puts the strongest man to sleep, and it knocked him out. A few minutes later he woke up from is sleep and said

“I knew it, it was a dream,”

But little did he know it wasn’t a dream, it was all real. The next day, the cat was walking around the building of Aon Center and saw a person holding a bird in his hands while electrocuting it intensely with a Taser. The cat tried to ignore it and went back to the bar, he recently visited, but when he was there, the bar was closed with a sign that says “Thank you for coming, but I am taking a 5 year break, this shop is closed until I arrive back”. The cat then went back to Aon Center and saw the same person who recently tased a bird, the person said to the cat

“Hi cat, my name is Leo, and I am a human, but all people around me consider me an animal for who knows what reason,” The person said

“I wonder why,” The cat bluffed

“I know right? If anyone is the animal it is them!” Leo exclaimed

“Alright, I am now leaving bye!” The cat tried to escape

“Wait, no!” Leo begged

“Ehehe but I am busy with something, bye!” The cat replied

“But I know how to make you fly!” Leo exclaimed

“Really?” The cat asked

“Yes, but it might cost you your 9 lives, but if you are good enough, you only need 8 of them” Leo replied

“Ok, where do I start?” The cat asked

“At the top of Aon Center,” Leo said “But I cannot coach you up there because I am not allowed to enter apparently and you are not able to enter either”

“So what is your plan?” The cat asked

“I suggest we bribe them,” Leo replied “With money”

“Sounds good,” The cat said

The next day Leo and the cat went to the front door of the building and said to the guards

“Hey, is your job boring?” Leo asked

“Oh ho ho ho Trying to bribe me?” The guard said

“What?!” Leo’s brain shouted

“Ho ho ho, if you want to enter, fight me,” The guard said

They both then went to their battle stance. Leo made the first move and drew out his scissors from his pocket and pointed it at the guard. The guard smirked because he was holding a rock in his right hand, Leo then realized he was in a toughspot and tried to cover his head, but the guard’s speed of smacking someone with a newspaper at “rock paper scissors” was too fast Leo didn’t get to block it resulting in a knockout. The cat appeared and said

“Leave it all to me, I never lose at rock paper scissors,”

The cat then threw a pair of scissors at the guard but the guard then did a pro gamer move

“I must unleash my technique I made called, Rock-a-bye-Baby!” The Guard exclaimed

The guard then threw a rock that was easy to crumble at the pair of scissors the cat threw, and when the rock and scissor collided, it created a dust cloud surrounding the cat in order for the cat to not see him. The cat was in shock because he wasn’t prepared for this attack and then he heard a piece of paper coming towards him from the above and then he knew where the guard was and dodged the guard’s attack on time and then the cat launched a rock attack at the guard, the guard was not prepared and panicked and threw in a paper defense and the scissor then sliced up the paper and the cat then went to its battle stance and said

“Slap a bug with newspaper, my ultimate technique,” The cat whispered

The cat then dashed towards the guard with great speed, the guard wasn’t prepared and wasn’t able to block it in time and got hit in the forehead with the cat’s newspaper thus, the guard lost. After the long battle the cat got too lazy and cancelled his plan to try and fly and went back to being a stray cat. The guard then woke up and lamented on his defeat and continued his guard duties, Leo, who woke up before the guard tried to cheer him up and it was successful. But little did the cat know, he defeated the worlds greatest rock paper scissors player who never lost a single rock paper scissor battle until now. The cat made the impossible, possible. And that is the end