23 comments

Mystery Suspense Fiction

The interrogation room was cold, small, empty, and dark with the only light source being a small lightbulb hanging on a string. In the middle of the room was small, table with a chair and a girl that was in her mid-twenties sat with her pale wrists handcuffed to the table.

Auburn hair covered her pale face, and green eyes that were blood-shot, and had bags under them. She was staring down at the shiny metal and silently shivering when she heard the door open. "Reanna?" she heard a familiar voice say, but she refused to even glance up.

Reanna saw the reflection of the papers as they were set down in front of her. "Reanna, please look at me." the familiar voice pleaded, his voice sounding desperate and somewhat anxious. Reanna sighed, and then raised her head to look in the face of her interrogator; Detective Thomas.

Thomas had to look down for a couple moments to keep his composure together. He had not seen Reanna for almost five years, but when he saw her picture when he was given her case he recognized her instantly.

"Red, I-" "Don't call me that." Reanna cut in, looking down at the table. Thomas sighed, heart-broken that she did not let him use her nickname that he'd given her. "Reanna, why did you shoot that person." Thomas asked. Reanna looked at what she thought was the last person to believe those lies. "I would never do anything like that, and you know I wouldn't!" she argued, tugging at the cuffs. Thomas could see the hurt in her eyes, but the evidence was overwhelming.

"Everything points to you. The footage showed you murdering a person down in cold blood. I wouldn't believe that it was you if I didn't see your face on that Camera!" Thomas protested, slamming his fist on the table; Reanna didn't flinch at the sudden gesture, she just stared at him with anger flaming in her eyes. Thomas almost yelled as he started pacing the ground, and making his open hands into a tight fist.

"Thomas, you got to believe me. I was at my house all day b...because I was sick." Reanna shivered. Thomas's head snapped around when he heard her let out a whimper. He finally saw the unnatural paleness in her skin and the trembles in her hand. "Red? Red!" he exclaimed, as she burst into a coughing fit. "I...told you...to...not... call me Red." Reanna replied, between coughs.

"Someone get in here!" Thomas yelled, after nearly ripping the door open. A couple of armed officers came in, and hauled Reanna somewhere to get medical attention, but before they disappeared behind the corner Reanna whispered to Thomas, "She's still out there, and if she's not found quickly she will pick everyone of you off one by one."

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Thomas was at his desk examining the file of the case for what seemed like the thousandth time. Giving up, he tossed the file on his desk, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and sighed. "Detective Thomas?" an Officer called, walking over to his desk. "Yeah?" Thomas answered.

"Captain wanted me to let you know that suspect Reanna Hillman is in good condition and will be perfectly fine." the Officer reported. "Alright, thank you for letting me know." Thomas responded. As the officer left, and Thomas was glaring at the pictures that got his best friend behind bars, he noticed something. In the picture, the girl who appeared to be Reanna, was holding a gun up to the victim with her left hand. "Isn't Red right handed?" he mentally asked himself.

Getting from his seat and grabbing his coat, Thomas decided to go back to the crime scene and get more details. "Maybe Reanna isn't guilty." he mentally said, racing to the captain's office to get permission

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Thomas wandered around through the abandoned factory where the shooting had taken place. There wasn't much around; the room where the crime was committed had been cleared out after a couple of days of investigating, which the captain had reminded him of.

Thomas felt the wall; maybe there was a secret passage that the authorities had missed. He found what appeared to be a voltage wire box that had a pad lock on it. Thomas took out his gun and slammed the butt of it onto the padlock, and after a couple swings it fell of broken.

He carefully opened the box and saw buttons and switches inside of it. "What the...." his voice trailed off, as he examined the panel in front of him; how could the police squad miss something like this? Taking a deep breath in hope he wouldn't get fried, Thomas pressed a green button twice and flipped the second switch up. A small beep came from the panel, and Thomas sighed with relief that he had asked Reanna about any passage ways before leaving.

A secret door that was disguised as the wall opened up, and there was a stairway leading down wards into blackness.

Thomas fumbled out his flashlight and shined it down the path way. He then started his decent down into the empty tunnel. The decent continued for a few long minutes, but then the stair way stopped in front of door, which Thomas opened after a moment of hesitation. He flinched a little at the sudden creaking as he opened it; it almost seemed like the door had not been opened in a very long time; almost.

Dust instantly surrounded Thomas and he had to squint while walking to the far side wall the had several circled and x'd out photos along with papers surrounding the photographs. Thomas stared in shock as he saw three pictures; Reanna, him, and the Captain!

Reanna's picture was x'd out and Thomas's picture was circled. Thomas's breathing began to quicken as he realized the Reanna had been framed, and who ever wanted to frame her wanted her out of the way. He looked at a paper that was underneath the pictures and read.

"Reanna, my pathetic little sister, was not strong enough to join me. She will pay and so will her "boyfriend" she is weak to protect. And just as an added bonus, I will cause the Captain a lot of suffering." it read. Thomas continued to examine the paper, as he began to realize the whole story, and put the pieces together. What made him freeze in his place, however, was when he saw a shadow loom on the wall.

December 13, 2020 06:16

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23 comments

The Rookie
21:02 Dec 21, 2020

It might be on purpose and if it is, by all means, continue, but usually when people say something or the "camera" changes perspective people write it in a new line. Thomas was at his desk examining the file of the case for what seemed like the thousandth time. Giving up, he tossed the file on his desk, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and sighed. "Detective Thomas?" an Officer called, walking over to his desk. He froze up. "Yeah?" Thomas answered. I think playing around with structure a bit can greatly help the pacing of the st...

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Phoebe DeNeve
22:45 Dec 21, 2020

Thank you for the feedback, and if you would like you can look at my other stories!!

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21:02 May 27, 2021

Great story. I truly felt the suspense. I wanted to read it faster to find out what happened next. Luckily, you've already written it, so I'll find out within a few minutes. Keep up the good work!

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Lilliane Wei
06:30 Jan 16, 2021

Hey again, Phoebe. I'm reading your story on Wattpad and in the third chapter, when Zyl shows Rory the scar, don't you think it would be fitting for him to get like super mad? I mean, she's like his little sister, right? And if he'd heard his little sister was sliced open and then they put something unnatural in her body, when she was only ten years old, I think he'd be ready for revenge. Also, you might want to indent every time a new person speaks in order to help distinguish the voices.

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Phoebe DeNeve
14:16 Jan 16, 2021

Yeah that's always been a problem for me when writing. Yeah, I can put more emotion into Rory. Thanks for the suggestions.

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Lilliane Wei
17:49 Jan 16, 2021

I can’t wait to finish it! 😃😃😃

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Phoebe DeNeve
02:56 Jan 17, 2021

Just posted the last chapter!!😆😆😆

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Lilliane Wei
04:22 Jan 17, 2021

YAY!!!

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Phoebe DeNeve
00:31 Jan 18, 2021

Hey, just checking if you have any feedback about the book.

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Lilliane Wei
08:38 Jan 10, 2021

Hi, Phoebe!! Just read your story and I gotta say, I REALLY love the story. It's so intruiging and compelling to read. I especially like the dynamics between characters and your reasonings are flawless. Only thing I would advise is that you check your grammar and puncuation before publishing. But other than that, this is an amazing piece of writing and I can't wait to read part 2! -Lillian

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Phoebe DeNeve
17:11 Jan 10, 2021

Thanks for the feedback, and I'm really glad you liked it. I don't usually write mysteries, so this was a different thing for me. I really like your stories too, and I wanna say keep up the great work!!

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Lilliane Wei
17:38 Jan 10, 2021

Thanks, Phoebe! Appreciate it. I'd also love for you to read one or two of my most recent stories, I'm pretty proud of them. XD

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Phoebe DeNeve
20:16 Jan 10, 2021

I'll take a look at them; if you have time, you can also take a look at some of my other stories too.

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Lilliane Wei
02:11 Jan 11, 2021

Will do!

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Phoebe DeNeve
03:14 Jan 11, 2021

Thank you so much!

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