The Android's Lullaby

My heart was beating hummingbird-fast as I inspected the pitch-black cave I’d fallen into. The hole I’d fallen through was far above my head and lightly covered in pine boughs. I held my breath and detected the wolf’s pawfalls- no longer stealthy quiet but stomping in frustration. I smiled with my breath held as it howled in anguish and bounded off.

Gradually, my heartbeat regulated, and I grew curious about my surroundings.

It was pitch black, I could see nothing, but it did not freak me out. Being a diurnal mammal, I was used to poor night-time vision…in fact, I was supposed to sleep through the night and forage for food in the early light of daybreak. My ears were sharp though. So, more importantly, I listened.

I heard water drops softly splooping about fifty body lengths to my left. Snowmelt. I heard the gentle susurration of the wind disturbing the pine boughs on the roof. But most importantly, I heard nothing else- no heavy hibernating bear breaths, no cracking of bones as a cave dwelling creature snacked. For the rest of the night, I would be safe.

I considered hibernating bears and felt the neon green sear of jealousy for the millionth time. I was a chipmunk. I should be hibernating…ah sleep, deep and wonderful sleep… full of dreams of fields full of tasty wildflower buds and girl chipmunks leaping to and fro with chestnut striped fur sprinkled with sweet pollen.

My drooping eyelids popped open over my aching, scratchy, sleep-deprived eyes. Tears of anguish leaked from them like grey water from a leaky sewer pipe. I thought of my mum, long gone now, she died at the ripe-old age of four, but I still remember her singing lullabies to my siblings and me.

I hummed and after awhile sang one that I remembered…’Mister mister Johnny Rebeck how could you be so mean…I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine…now all the neighbors’ dogs and cats shall never more be seen…’ As a child chipmunk, I’d snickered at that. Chipmunks are great fun for frickin dogs and cats.

Eventually, a meager light seeped into the cave through the pine boughs and a jagged fissure in the ceiling. Ah, a sunny daybreak over the snowy forest up there. The dim but welcome sunlight lit the motes of dust and bits of decaying leaves from above as they floated in the cavern air like mite-sized fairies. As the light intensified, I looked around at my refuge. It was a circular shaped cave, that funneled upwards like a teepee or a Hershey’s Kiss.

“Woah,” I said out loud as I took in the wall of ice behind me. The weak sulfur colored light was like a Broadway stage spotlight upon the sheer surface, dimmed to indicate suspense…or danger. I brushed away the snow from its face and discovered it was a clear, solid mass of ice, with a warbly, frosty surface. It was like looking at a frozen over lake standing on its side.

I shuddered at my reflection. I’d known I was turning white; I could see most of my body by curling around. But dang- all that was left of my old coat was the four dark stripes from the back of my shoulders to my butt. When I’d first discovered that I was turning white, I thought it was my imagination induced by lack of sleep. No longer in denial, I looked at the benefits of having white fur: obviously, I’d be harder to see against the snow and secondly, it was kinda cool, I bet the chicks would dig it. Unfortunately, they were all sleeping.

As I stared into the ice, I realized the dark shape in the center looked like…a human man? I brushed more frost away higher up. Yup. Definitely human man shaped. I blinked and the shape…was still there. I still believed that it was a creation born of my insomnia. Sleep deprivation was wreaking havoc upon my senses to the point I’d started seeing things, like the white fur and owl clouds and ogre trees and root snakes…AAAGH.

My ears were starting to play tricks now too- that damned wolf had sprung out of nowhere; I should have heard its steps in the crunchy snow. I’d heard its breath but thought it was just wind in the dead grass. Sneaky bastard. I had barely escaped its pouncing paws. I feel as though I am losing my mind. I almost wish the sneaky bastard had chomped me out of my misery.

I sighed dramatically with no one around to chastise me.

A light blinked behind the ice wall.

I summersaulted backwards and jumped to my feet.

The man shaped thing in the ice was a dark shadow. No lights. Curse that hallucination thi---

A light inside the ice blinked again. As I looked, two eyes opened at the top of the vague dark shape. They glowed yellowy white, like small headlights.

“AAAAAaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeee!” I screamed and ran up the roots against the side of the cavern until I reached the fir boughs. My fat white furball of a body torpedoed out the opening as if shot from a cannon. I tucked and rolled as I’d been taught when you missed a branch…and froze on all fours…listening.

Just the wind in the treetops. The caw of a distant crow. And my thumping heart. What the heck was that thing? Looked human. But I’d never seen a human with glowing eyes like that. Something a human had made? But why? It was the scariest thing I’d ever seen…but…also the coolest.

I trekked to where my own small burrow was, high in an old oak tree by the river. I sprinted easily up the gnarled bark to the branch before it. Out from my hollow-home big shiny black wasps floated and dipped, some going in, some going out. No way! You kidding me? The bastards had taken over my hollow. I ever so slowly crept towards the entrance to MY hollow and a wasp buzzed over my head and around it. The thing was the size of my arm. Its stinger looked big as my paw and like shiny, polished obsidian with a fine deadly looking point.

As I swatted at the wasp before me, another attacked my butt and planted its stinger there.

“Holy Mother of Pearl!” I screeched.

***

Back at the cavern with the humanoid in the ice, I sat and rubbed my aching bum. I was at my wit’s end. I was falling into a deep pit of depression, one with the smooth polished sides of a funnel straight to hell. I was near giving up.

The lights in the ice blinked on and glowed.

I realized they were closer to the surface now, as if the ice had been melting in my absence.

I no longer had any fear. Indeed, I had little emotions of any kind left. But I did have wonder. As I watched, the ice was in fact melting around where the eyes were glowing. After an hour or so, I saw its entire face. A man’s face. Pleasant and sorta rounded. It seemed to be smiling at me and what I felt was…peace.

The head slowly moved left to right and back again. Shards of ice tinkled down. The head was free. I laughed and stared in awe. To my amazement, the head smiled and laughed too, “Hra ghra hgraaa!” It sounded like gears stripping in a woodchipper. I winced.

The humanoid thing said in a gravelly voice, “Oh. Sorry. Laughter was always a challenge. I am very pleased to meet you regardless.”

I clapped my hands in delight. Whatever was going on was definitely worth living for. I said, “Who…what…um…what’s your name?”

The humanoid thing shivered, and ice fell away from the front of its body. It raised an arm slowly then bent at the waist and the rest of the ice fell away. It stepped forward then sat cross-legged before me, taking up most of the space in the cavern. It said, “I am Vector Collector 95006. Please call me James.”

I said, “I am Sidney. Chipmunk. Call me Sid.”

“I have never seen a white chipmunk, Sid, how is this so?”

“I have insomnia. I’m supposed to be hibernating but since I’m awake every night, I guess my fur turned white as a defense mechanism. You know, to be camouflage in the snow. Hey, thanks Mother Nature.”

James nodded. He looked very much like a slightly pudgy human. Instead of a tapered torso, he had sort of a barrel shape covered by a thick grey flannel shirt. His denims were Levis. He said, “that explains why you need my help.”

“Wha? I never asked---”

“I felt it. I was also…depressed I suppose. I hate my job. I can do so much more than what I was programmed to do. When the new models came out, I knew I was destined for the recycle bin. But I have goals. I want to help those in need. I feel their pain. I’m not supposed to, but I do. I felt yours. It’s what brought me back.”

My mind was spinning. But I felt a connection with this… “You’re man made. An android?”

“Yes.”

“What is this job you hate?”

“It’s embarrassing…”

“Go on.” I gestured with a paw in a 'place it before me' gesture.

The android sighed and said, “I’m a metal detector. Built for a wealthy human woman as a gift for her son.”

“You mean like one of those things that looks sorta like a weed whacker ---”

“Yes!” James grimaced; the corners of his mouth turned downwards. “Just a toy for an entitled brat. It was fun at first. His eyes would light up with the thrill of the hunt and discovery. Then he grew bored, and I sat in a shed collecting dust.”

“You ran away?”

“Yes. And I…hibernated. Didn’t know what I was waiting for… er…what’s your story? Why are you so sad?”

I sat back on my heels. No one had ever asked me that before because no one had cared. I said, “I have insomnia. I should be hibernating, but I can’t sleep. Hence the white winter coat…and, um hallucinations. They’re driving me mad.”

James nodded thoughtfully as he truly absorbed my words, then asked, “you cold? You want some heat?”

I nodded even though my fur was winter thick. I was curious…

James put his hands together and a glow emanated from between them, like a small pile of coals after a bonfire. In a minute, I was sweating. “Woah. That’s awesome.”

“I can do so much more. I don’t want to be recycled. I want to help people. Uh- and chipmunks…if they need me.”

“You can help,” I said eagerly. For the first time in months, my eyes shone with life.

***

Back at my old hole in the oak that the wasps had taken over, I perched on James’ shoulder as he reached into the burrow. The big black shiny wasps were furious and attacked the arm. I giggled as the wasps broke their stingers against his artificial flesh. James reached deep and pulled out my store of nuts. I danced on my toes as he deposited my yearlong stash into a compartment over his left hip. He looked like a gunslinger holstering his six shooter.

Back at the cavern I stored my stash in a cubby under a root. I turned to James and said, “Thank you. I will survive the winter.”

“No. You will not,” he said as if it were a quote from an encyclopedia.

“Wha---”

“Sid. You have food but you are not well. You cannot hear that wolf. It will not rest until it gets you because you evaded it before. She’s angry and vengeful.”

I couldn’t argue with his logic and sighed. I said, “So, you were a metal detector for a spoiled brat, right?”

“Yes. So degrading.”

“Oh stop. You totally rock. But I’m curious, where do you keep all that stuff you find?”

James laughed like he was imitating Santa, “Ho ho ho haaaa!” (a vast improvement) Then he added, “Right here, in my belly.”

His hands looked like intricate articulated gauntlets as pencil thin titanium fingers pressed some buttons in a panel on his chest and …voila! The barrel of his stomach opened, and gold and silver poured out. Chains, coins, rings, bracelets, odd objects covered in rust.

“Wow!”

“Yeah. Pretty useless though.”

I dug through the treasure. True it was useless to me. And to James also. If he revealed the treasure to his human master or anyone else, it’d be taken for granted that that had been his job. He’d still be replaced by a newer model.

And then…I found something that was useful to me. A leather dog collar. With metal tags. I held it up to James who was hovering over me. Our eyes connected. I shook the collar, and the tags jangled an out of tune chorus.

***

I stood in the middle of an open field. I shuffled around. I heard a hawk overhead and instinctively ducked behind a clumpy bunch of snow-covered branches, grateful for my white coat. As I crouched, I heard the crunching of the top icy layer of snow collapse…under a wolf’s heavy wide paws.

I ventured out into the open underneath an old oak, pretending to be oblivious.

The wolf was impressively silent. But I heard her breathing regardless and knew it wasn’t just the wind. I dug into some snow and resisted the urge to look behind me.

I heard the wolf’s breath escape its lungs as it leapt towards me.

My android friend had my back as I knew he would.

As the wolf leapt, James swooped down from the oak and snared the wolf’s neck with the collar.

The wolf was furious. It glared at James, snarling, and bared its long ivory fangs, crouching, and preparing to tear his head off. The android’s eyes shone red like stoplights, the wolf back-pedaled with an ear-wrenching whimper, turned tail and raced away. The collar tags jingled almost as merrily as reindeer bells.

I smiled and it felt good on my face. I would forever hear that bitch’s jingle-jangle from a mile away.

***

Back at the cavern we talked of the escapades of the day until the sun went down. James heated my chestnuts until they burst like enormous popcorn blooms; I couldn’t not clap my paws in delight. The almonds when toasted were heavenly. I laid down with a full belly and my eyes at half-mast.

James said, “Well, do you think you’ll sleep now?” He was sitting cross-legged, with his back against the cavern wall.

“Ah man. Epic day. But no.” I curled up against his foot with my head resting on his big toe. A small pile of James-made embers glowed before us, made from the discarded nut shells. “I love you my friend, but no.”

“I think I know how to help…” he said and smiled down at me. He stroked my fur and it felt like my momma’s hand when I was a baby. Then he softly started singing the lullaby…

In the mesmerizing, crooning voice of Mel Torme, he sang:

“Oh…mister mister Johnny Rebeck how could you be so mean?

I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine.

Now all the neighbors’ dogs and cats shall never more be seen,

They’ll all be ground into sausages by Johnny Rebeck’s machine…

One day a little Dutch boy came skipping to the store.

He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor,

He began to whistle, he whistled a merry tune,

And all the little sausages danced around the room.”

I dreamt of a peaceful world with no cats and dogs in it (too bad the song didn’t include owls and hawks) and of sausages with ears and tails. Oh! And here come the dancing chipmunk girls with honey-sweet pollen balls in their sensuous paws. The smile on my face stayed there until I awoke a month later.