Pleading for Forgiveness

Most Kind and Gracious Sir:

This letter is being anonymously written on behalf of a friend. You probably know of whom the writer speaks, therefore they shall not mention his name. Beware though, prior to reading this, that he merely gave the writer a few points to make and did not specify how to make them. Perhaps you are one of those sophisticated souls who prefer ancient language, and in that case, you shall enjoy this letter immensely; if not, the writer denies any further association with the person in question. 

Firstly: This person did not intend to commit their misdeed. He had fallen behind the clock and was rushing to please your elevated standards of timeliness. Those said standards have caused this person many levels of anxiety, which he has endeavoured to work through to fit himself into your mold of perfection. His evening pleasures and entertainments have often been cut short in order to get the rest required to complete his many duties. His relationships have become strained due to “not wanting to deal with him” after his personality has been dampened by such stress. His house has fallen into disrepair, his legal paperwork has fallen behind, and he has even missed church in trying to catch up on his stolen sleep. All this, however, he has borne in a quiet, submissive manner, in regard to you as the one who signed his pay checks. He would in no way have intentionally caused damage or harm to anything that would have effected you, much less anything that belonged to you. He, despite all cons represented, held you in extremely high esteem. 

Secondly: It was, in fact, not their fault at all. You see, the particular morning on which the unfortunate incident took place, everything that could go wrong had. Please, bear with the detailed account provided here: The reason the incident happened was because he was driving too fast. A mistake common enough among the general public, but one he had never been accused guilty of prior to this time. You see, he spent several precious minutes looking for his keys, which had decided to abandon their master in his time of need. You say, there is no way he could have spent so much time looking for his keys that he was quite so late and in need of such drastic acceleration, and there you would be correct. Perhaps he would have been on time, if not even early, had it not been that his mother called a few minutes after he awoke. She gave him quite a lecture on filial duty and upbraided him severely on not having called her recently. Now I will have you to believe that she was not entirely in the right on this matter. He calls his mother for lengthy conversations every moment he is free, which is not very many, after he has completed all you ask of him. In fact, it was one of these calls that he was responding to as he walked through the door of his apartment last night. He had to fumble for his phone while holding a container of fast food and his lunch box. It was in this frantic scuffle that he dropped his keys into his boots where he found them the next morning. It is a paramount detail as well that he does not even like fast food but is forced to utilize its speed and accessibility due to reduced personal time to cook his own meals. 

Thirdly: It was, in light of all the evidence, your fault. 

Surely you, in all your application of knowledge, understand the implications that follow the details that have been laid out before you. However, there is a silver lining to the clouds. Henceforth I have been at great pains to prove his innocence and shift your point of view to what must be the correct one. According to to his report, though, you are a man of conviction and will not easily be persuaded, which is why I have drafted and polished a second plea: that if you, after reading the entire saga above, do not understand, will still pardon. 

He has worked dedicatedly for the past seventeen days, proving his loyalty. Nearly every point on his resume has been upheld with integrity. Not one complaint has been filed by a customer against him. And these points have not even touched on his personal merits. He bathed everyday before coming to work, using soap, and even brushed his teeth and hair. His particularly chosen cologne enveloped the whole office, effectively concealing the dull smell of ink and paper. That was not the only way he improved his fellow employees’ lives; he also kept from them the tidal waves of dark humour that surged through his mind, protecting them from various sardonic responses he might have injured them with. 

And if this is not enough, I have taken the liberty of quoting Shakespeare’s Portia.

“The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth it as a gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed: it blesseth him that gives and him that takes. ’Tis mightiest in the mightiest. It becomes the throned monarch better than his crown. His sceptre shows the force of temporal power, the attribute to on majesty wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings, but mercy is above the sceptered sway. It is enthroned in the hearts of kings. It is an attribute to God himself. And earthly power doth then show likest God’s when mercy seasons justice. Though justice be thy plea, consider this— that in the course of justice none of us should see salvation. We do pray for mercy, and that same prayer doth teach us all to render the deeds of mercy.” 

He humbly awaits your anticipated benevolent response.

— Anonymous 

Jeff:

You are still fired and I still expect you to cover the full cost of the repairs to my car. 

— Mr. Dunley 

Perhaps someone will wonder where all my sensibility went. Here is the moral of the story: no matter the circumstances, consequences are sure to follow actions.