I used to be someone, I was going to make a name for myself, Get away from my controlling parents. But after the accident I just couldn’t cope, I couldn’t function anymore.


Flashing lights light up the dark night as the sound of scraping metal could be heard echoing and bouncing off the tunnel we hand just exited. A stream of blood poured from my forehead and a pounding throb exploded in my head as i had hit the dashboard of the car. I glance over at my father, he isn’t moving “DAD... DAD...” I called out, I tried moving but every time I tried I felt pain washing over me.

Shaking my head I push back the distant memory, wiping the sweat off my forehead as I continued down the streets of downtown Brooklyn. I turn down an ally and walk straight up to a man dresses in sweats and a hoody. 

“Hey... hey... Alex I need... I... I... I need a hit... I need some more” I was shaking and sweating buckets, I need this... I need to forget. 

The lights were flashing in my eyes and my face felt wet from the blood. I could barley hear the voices calling out.

“Robert Sullivan! Get out of the car”

I tried to move but I was in so much pain, I shook my head. “I can’t... move” I breathed out slowly and coughed hard, my throat tingled and throbbed. The door squeaked and scraped open as large hands ripped me from the car and through me to the ground. Again pain ricocheted throughout my head and I groaned in pain.

I shake my head again feeling nauseous “come on man...” he cut me off pushing me backwards and I fall to the ground.

“You don’t get shit for free” he cocked he head to the side as he looked me over from head to toe “now what do we have here?” 

As I had fallen my necklace had come out of my shirt, it was a present from my nanna for getting invited to audition for Juilliard, it’s my last connection to who I used to be.

He pulled it from my chest “now this will be worth a pinch... never have I ever seen something of such worth on a junkie before...”

I stood up, “you can have it! I just need one hit... just one” he through a baggie at me and I ran out of the ally, I slow down to a walk not wanting to look suspicious. There are too many people on the streets, I keep looking behind me, someone’s following me I know it. They want it... they can’t have it... NO I need it... I need it now... I start to run, taking sharp turns trying to get away. 

I’m out of breath and I think I’ve lost them, I see a bathroom sign up ahead and go to walk in but it’s occupied. I knock on the door “come on man I gotta go...” no one answered “dude hurry up, no need to take all day” 

The door opens and he pushed me outta the way, I rush in and lock the door. Pouring the content onto the sink countertop, I split the white crystalline power into lines.

The bright lights wavered in my vision, everything was blurry, there were two shadows hovering above me. “Don’t go to the auditions boy” one of them yelled, confused and I responded without thinking.

“I have to... it’s my chance... My... my chance to...” this just seemed to anger them and they cut me off.

“You’ll have plenty of chances, Your only 14! your a musical prodigy, go next year or the year after that! I don’t care don’t turn up next week” the man seemed angry but also sad as if he didn’t want to be here.

I shake my head trying to gain any sort to stability, I glance towards the car and my vision clears and all I see is my dad leaning on the stealing wheel out cold. That was before I felt the most pain I’ve ever experienced quake through my hand, over and over again. I screamed, my lungs were on fire.

“You made your decision boy” he said as he continued to brake several bones in my hand.

I’m sweating buckets I need this to go away I need to escape. I grab a straw and deeply Inhale, one line after the other, my nose starts to bleed but I don’t care. I fall back onto the ground as colours dance across my vision, they swirl, they dance until they from a picture a boy sitting at a piano. The boys hands dance along the keys and the music they create are magical.

I hear a soft voice “that’s beautiful Robby, why don’t you play nanna’s favourite”

The boy smiles and the song changes into a beautiful melody, dancing and swirling in ever-changing colours but as the tempo increases so dose my heart rate.

I could stay like this forever, I never wanted to leave. This was my happy place, this is where I felt the safest. This is where I belonged, with my music, just me and my nanna.

 My chest started pounding and my breathing became heavy, but the music is beautiful dancing in colours across my vision. I close my eyes and everything goes black, but I can still hear the music echoing, as I fall deeper where I can’t feeling anything anymore. There’s no pain, no fear, just a beautiful melody. 

I fall deeper and deeper, suddenly my nanna walked through the darkness and she held her hand out. I grab her hand and pull her in for a tight hug, “I can’t do this anymore nanna... I want to stay here with you forever”

She smiled warmly at me and we began to dance, as we danced I was feeling heavier and heavier until I felt as light as a feather and I never left the sound of music.

January 31, 2020 02:29

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