Truth or Dare

“Come on, Lilac. You have to let loose a little bit,” Emmelyn, one of my best friends tells me.

“You know this isn’t my scene,” I say as I look around the room. Loud music, people dancing, flashing lights and red plastic cups filled with alcohol everywhere.

“Emmelyn is right. You never leave your dorm room. Always studying, reading or writing. You urgently need to get your nose out of those books,” Asia, my other best friend says before grabbing my arm and dragging me onto the dancefloor. I sigh and roll my eyes. I love those two girls like sisters but once in a while, it wouldn’t hurt for them to tone it down a bit.

“Okay, truth or dare?” I hear Asia scream to Emmelyn, trying to sound even louder than this stupid party music.

“Truth,” Emmelyn answers excitedly.

“Did you have sex with Xander last weekend?”

“Yes.”

“In my dorm room?” she adds.

“Kind of on your bed…”

“Oh my god! Em!” Asia cries out, disgust clearly visible on her face.

“What? We came back from a party. I knew you weren’t on campus for the weekend and I lost my keys so, I used your emergency key.”

“That doesn’t mean you needed to make love on my bed!” Asia screams and they both burst out laughing.

Once they've calmed down, Asia turns towards me.

“Lilac, truth or dare?” she asks me. I panic. What should I pick? Dare? But who knows what they’ll let me do. Emmelyn and Asia always go all out in these sort of games. Truth then? But what if they ask me something personal, something about my past, something I don’t want to share, something they should never have to know. No, definitely not! So, dare it is.

“Dare,” I answer, injecting confidence into my voice. I also roll my eyes, making sure Asia knows how annoyed I am that she’s making me play this dumb game.

“Alright. Uhm… I dare you to…” she starts, an evil and excited grin on her face. That can’t mean anything good.

“I dare you to kiss that guy over there.” She points to a boy, around our age, standing at the bar with a group of his friends, back facing towards us. From what I can see, he has dark brown hair and wearing black jeans combined with a white t-shirt that hugs his muscles in all the right places.

“No… No, I can’t.”

“You have to. That’s the game, Lilac,” Asia says and I can feel anxiety rushing through my entire body. I know she’s going to make me do this. And I also know that there is only one way out of it.

“Fine,” I sigh. I hand Emmelyn my red cup before quickly brushing through my hair with my hands and looking down at my outfit I don’t quite feel comfortable in.

“Oh Lilac, stop it. You look fine. Now go and get him,” Asia tells me, an expression on her face I despise. She’s enjoying this. She’s enjoying this way too much.

I take a deep breath and walk up to the back of this random guy. I put a hand on his tall and firm shoulder and he instantly turns around. Once I see his face, I’m stunned. Oh crap. Abord mission, now!

I immediately turn my back and start walking away. But before I can even take two steps, a strong hand grabs my arm and spins me around. I look up, into those moss-green eyes. I feel my lungs begging for air, but it doesn’t matter how hard I try, no air gets in. What do I do? Come on Lilac. Think…

“I… I…,” I stutter but before I can even get a word out, his lips collide with mine. Suddenly, I feel safe and somehow vulnerable, and I can’t seem to decide if that’s a bad thing or not. His lips feel cold at first but as the kiss progresses and I respond, they become warmer. I can’t back away. Why can’t I back away? Our lips move together in perfect rhythm like they are two puzzle pieces waiting to be placed together.

Lilac, snap out of it! And so, I do. I don’t even bother to look at him as I detach my lips from his and run away, trying to make sense of what just happened.

-

-

“Lilac! Lilac!” I hear a voice scream, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Lilac!”

“What?” I ask as I see Asia and Emmelyn catching up to me.

“Are you okay?” Emmelyn asks me.

“Yes of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, we couldn’t find you anywhere after the party on Friday and we didn’t see you all weekend,” Asia tells me.

“Yeah and you don’t look too good either,” Emmelyn adds.

“Thanks, guys,” is all I say as I just continue walking.

“Okay, seriously Lilac. What is your problem?” Asia snaps as she grabs my arm and jerks me to a halt.

“I don’t have a problem. I’m fine! Just drop it!” I immediately release myself from her grip and storm off. Don’t they get it? Of course, they don’t because they only think about themselves. They have no clue what they set in motion Friday night.

I make my way over to the football field and climb up the bleachers. I sit myself down in my usual spot. Top row, left corner. I take my notebook and pencil case out of my backpack and start drawing. Something I quite often do to calm myself down.

“Hi.”

I instantly scare up and drop my pencil. I can’t believe who is standing in front of me right now. He picks up my pencil I dropped and hands it to me. I just ignore him and look down at my notebook laying in my lap.

“Can I sit down?” he asks but I don’t respond. I just keep staring. Staring at the soft grey lines making up the picture I drew.

I guess he thinks no response is a good response because I feel his presence coming closer and sitting down next to me.

“I didn’t quite catch your name,” he says and honestly, I don’t really know what to do. I’m not in the mood for this. But maybe I will play along with this little game of his for a while.

“Lilac,” I whisper.

“I’m Owen.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say as I look up at him for the first time today, meeting those enchanting moss-green eyes.

“What do you study? Because before Friday, I had never seen you here before. Are you new?”

“Okay, cut the crap, Owen”, I snap at him, slamming my notebook shut and throwing it into my backpack. “Don’t play dumb with me. You know who I am, don’t you?” I fire at him. He briefly looks away but instantly flicks his eyes back over at me. All he does to answer my question is nod his head.

“Why the hell did you kiss me?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you were the one who came over to kiss me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. It was just a stupid dare,” I tell him, looking right into his eyes. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his minty breath brushing against my cheeks. I don’t know what this is but I feel a weird sensation growing inside of my stomach. And before I can even blink my eyes, I feel his lips smashing onto mine.

“Oh my god, no! No, no, no! We can’t do this, Owen. This can’t happen, like ever,” I almost scream as I stand up, grab my backpack and bolt down the bleachers.

“Lilac, wait!” he screams after me. I feel myself getting angry. Outraged. I don’t know why but when I reach the field I stop and turn around. My hands on my head, trying to ease the weight as I feel a single tear escape from my eye.

“Are you alright?” he asks as he reaches me, placing a hand on my back. I immediately slap it away.

“Owen, this can’t happen.”

“But why not, Lilac?”

“Are you serious right now?” I ask, getting angrier with every word leaving his mouth. “Do you even remember what happened? Or did you forget? Did you forget what your dad did to me?”

“No, I didn’t. But we, you and I, don’t have to be defined by that.”

“He tried to kill me, Owen! He’s the reason I had to grew up without a mother!”

“That wasn’t his fault,” he says, seriousness clearly present on his face. I can’t believe he’s defending that criminal.

“You can’t honestly believe that. He burned down our house. That wasn’t an accident, Owen. Your dad started that fire. He made my mum suffocate and he tried to stab me as I was trying to escape. And why?!” I scream, more and more tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Because he thought he deserved the promotion my mum got? I had to grow up all alone because your dad was jealous? I’m sorry but that’s crazy! Who does that?” I wipe away a few tears with my thumb and briefly look up into his eyes. What I see baffles me. Shock… Disbelieve… Didn’t he know? Did he really not know all of this?

“You didn’t know?” I ask him confused, voice as silent as a whisper. He just shakes his head ‘no’. “So, you’ve known who I am for years but you don’t know why your dad is locked away in prison?”

“I… I… didn’t…” he stutters, bowing his head down, too ashamed to even look at me right now. I suddenly feel this wave of empathy rushing through me. No, don’t feel bad, Lilac. This is the son of the man who ruined your entire life. Don’t give in! Don’t give in to his disbelief, to his pain. Don’t give in to his cuteness and his charm. Don’t give in to the chills that run down your spine when he looks into your eyes. You can’t give in to it!

Be strong, Lilac. His dad is a murderer. There is no way you can ever be happy with him. He’ll remind you of what happened every single day.

You can’t do this to yourself, Lilac. You just can’t.

“I’m… I’m sorry Owen but I have to go,” I blurt out before I turn myself around and start walking away.

“Lilac! No, please wait!” I hear him scream after me, but I don’t stop and turn around this time. I just keep walking. Walking away from him. Walking away from the boy who stole my heart. Away from the boy who ripped it in two but at the same time also managed to put it back together. Away from something that might be love. Away from something that can never happen.

I just keep walking. Walking away from Owen. Away from everything that happened in the past, and from everything that could have happened between us in the future.