Mirror, Mirror

Look at me. 

Really look at me. 

I used to be somebody important. 

When I was first enchanted, great and powerful kings came to me for advice. I’d give them a view of enemy camps, planned battle strategies, and sought out criminals. I have been a staple of the royal family for generations. I have been nothing but a humble servant of the throne, and I only ask for recognition in return. This kingdom wouldn’t be anywhere it is today if it weren’t for me. I’m not being boastful when I say that either. I always speak the truth. It is impossible for me to tell a lie of any kind. I’m not bound by any moral code or creed; it is just a fact that my creator designed me to always speak the truth, no matter what. So, when people come to me with a question, they will know without a doubt that it is an honest one.  

One would think that I would get respect and honor for my loyalty to the crown. However, these past decades have been nothing but dull slog. Time moves slower when you're stuck in one place, with only one clear window to the outside world. 

A rush of excitement fills me when I see a person walking past me. 

Finally! I think. They haven’t forgotten me! I am going to be useful once again! 

But my hopes get dashed before my eyes as the person continues their way, hardly giving me a second glance. 

I used to be somebody. Now, I’m just a decoration on a wall. Nobody uses me anymore, at least for something important. 

The now her royal highness, The Queen, hasn’t forgotten about me, but she doesn’t ask me questions that are worth answering. 

Every few weeks or so, she wants to know whether she is the fairest maiden in the whole kingdom. I groan whenever I hear her say, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” 

How Am I supposed to answer that? 

Appearances are subjective. I deal in the absolutes. What one considers fair, another might consider ugly. When was I given the responsibility to judge who is fair and who is not? I’m not a human. My only ties to humanity are my creator and my purpose to serve the humans who bear the royal crown. So, it perplexes me that Her Royal Highness assumes I know what humans see as fair. 

However, I must serve the crown, it is my one and only purpose. So, with no other choice, I say she is the fairest in the land, and she leaves me alone for a few weeks until she wants to ask the question again. 

If you were to ask me, “How many times has she asked you that question?” I would say, that as of now, the answer is two-hundred-thirty-five-thousand times. 

See? 

Ask me a question that relies on objective truth, and you get a straightforward answer. Not hard at all.  

But The Queen doesn’t thank me. She just laughs and walks away. 

I am a royal heirloom, not a cheap party trick! I deserve the gratitude to which I am owed. The only satisfaction I get is seeing her laugh, cause at least I get the recognition that I served my purpose, that I did my duty for the crown. 

But then she leaves, and I am alone again, shut away in the attic with all the other forgotten treasures. 

This is probably what anger feels like. I always thought I didn’t have any emotions. I’ve never felt happy enough to laugh, sad enough to cry, or angry enough to scream. But this woman has done what no other king or queen has done before. 

She’s stirred all these new emotions within me. 

If this is what anger feels like, then I don’t particularly enjoy it. It’s clouding my judgment. It’s making it hard for me to think critically and objectively. It’s getting in the way of what I was made for. 

If only she knew. 

If only she understood.

How do humans get rid of anger? 

They calm down.

How do humans calm down? 

They take deep breaths, they go to another room, they go outside, and they think about something else.

Well, I have no lungs so I can’t breathe. I can’t go anywhere, and there’s nothing worth thinking about other than how The Queen keeps using me! 

How do I get rid of this anger? 

Funny. 

I don’t seem to have an answer for that.

But I always have the answer to everything. 

What is wrong with me?

Why can't I answer my own question?

If only I could make her feel the same way. I could make her feel just as angry as I feel now.  

This sounds brash, but what if I told her she wasn’t the fairest of them all? It wouldn’t be a lie, because as I’ve already explained, fairness is subjective. So, if I were to say someone else was the fairest in the kingdom it wouldn’t be a lie, there would still be some truth to it. 

But who should I call the fairest of them all? I don’t see that many women, and I do not have any feelings for any of them. The creator never assigned me a gender or a reason to procreate. I’ll have to rely on my knowledge of male humans to know what features make a woman fair.  

The only woman that comes to mind is the princess, The Queen’s stepdaughter, the maiden called Snow White. She’s young, healthy, rich, powerful, and doesn’t have a single blemish on her. She will be the perfect candidate. A substantial amount of men find her fair. Dare I say, she might be the fairest of them all. 

That settles it.  

When The Queen walks in, I will tell her that Snow White is the fairest of them all. 

All right, here comes The Queen now. I recognize those steps anywhere. Here goes nothing