I Just Watched

He said it was something that I wouldn’t like, but I had to go. “It was just the way life is and pretending it ain’t, isn’t going to change it any.” My father believed that there were those born good, some born bad, most just waiting to see which way the wind would blow them. It was those he said you had to watch out for, cause they weren’t grounded in anything but what they got told to believe.

I remember that day. It had rained earlier; the clouds finally give out and let the sun in. It was so hot that my skin was melting, looked like butter in the dish, all droopy. After a rain, the air gets like it don’t want to be breathed. It’s so heavy you can see it and touch it. It’s the kind of day we usually went to the river, but dad said I hadn’t the time today. We had to go to the square. He made it sound like we was going to the fair, but all I was supposed to do was watch, learn how things was. 

I tried to get him to tell me what was so important we couldn’t get out of the heat and go to the river. All he would say was, “You’ll see.” It didn’t sound too exciting, but the way Dad talked, that didn’t matter. It was something we was expected to go to. “The way you learn about how things are,” he said, when I tried to get out of it. It was so hot I wouldn’t have cared what it was.  It couldn’t be better than being in the river.

We went down to the square and there was already a bunch of people there. All kinds: some I knew, most I didn’t. They was all lookin at this tree like it was going to get up and walk off. I couldn’t see anything but a bunch of sweaty shirts and sweat dripping necks. Sweat bubbling up on peoples foreheads. I would have given anything to steal my way out of there. 

Dad wanted to know if I wanted to sit on his shoulders so I could see better. See better? What was there to see. Standing with all those other hot people just made it worse. I didn’t really care what we was supposed to be lookin at, I just didn’t care. Sittin on his shoulders? I thought of havin to sit on Willy our mule when it was hot. Willy sweat worse than a field worker. Pants would get all wet and you felt like you was sitting on a stove.

People were yellin and screamin and then it got real quiet. They was pullin someone across the yard. I couldn’t see who it was or why they was pullin him. I asked dad what was goin on and he said, “just wait, you’ll see.”

Billy Wilde, a kid I was in school with was standing a ways off and when he saw me, he slipped over. I asked what was goin on. “Dad said I had to be here, but wouldn’t tell me why.” Billy was kind of lookin at the ground like he didn’t really want to say, but I knew from the way he was actin that he knew. Billy was the kind of kid who can’t stand it if he don’t tell you what he had for breakfast. So I knew he knew and was told to be quiet about it. People around her get like that sometime when they ain’t too sure what they is doin with what is goin on.

I jabbed him a few times with my elbow until he quit lookin at the ground and then he looked around like he didn’t want anyone to hear. He kept lookin at his dad, but his dad was busy yellin at something up by the tree. 

“It’s that kid from up north, by Chicago, I think they said.” Billy went back to kickin at the ground, like he was nervous.

Well, that didn’t mean nothing to me. Some kid from up north. We are out here dripping like a mule because of some kid from up north. “He supposedly disrespected some woman in town. A white woman. It’s a black kid. They say he whistled at some woman in town and you know that ain’t the right thing to do.”

“Some kid whistles at somebody and we all got to come out here to stand in the heat? For what? Dad says it’s something I got to see. How things is done.”

“My Dad says the same thing. Says we got laws and rules and if’n you don’t follow them, then we got nothing. Let’s go over there where we can see at least. Climb that old oak and sit on the branch. Bet it’s cooler up there than down here with all these people sweatin on us.”

We made our way to the back and then slipped down the road til we got to the tree. I climbed up first and then Billy come up. He’s not a very good climber, so I wasn’t sure he was goin to make it, but he did. We sat for a while; still couldn’t see much other than a bunch of guys yelling and kickin and punchin something on the ground.  Then we saw someone throw a rope over a limb and several of the people grab hold of the end and pull.

There was this kid tied to the end of the rope. I couldn’t see too good, we was a ways away, but he was trying to get the rope off his neck. His clothes was tore up and he had blood on his face. He was grabbin at the rope and kicking as they pulled him up. Billy turned away; he couldn’t look no more. I guess I was so scared I couldn’t take my eyes from the boy. He was older than me, but not by a lot. 

I watched as he ran in the air like he was in a race;, goin to outrun the rope, and then he slowed down and just stopped. He was just hangin there and people were yellin at him like he was the devil. For some reason I thought of my sister’s doll. A limp raggedy thing; looked like it didn’t have no joints. Kind of like a puddle on a string. 

It didn’t make no sense. It was just a kid that whistled at someone. I whistle at kids all the time. Sometimes at my sister if it’s time to eat and she ain’t comin when ma calls.

The Sheriff, he was there. He didn’t do nothin. He just watched like most of them, doin nothin. The people stood around for a while and then they left, some few at a time. There was this one kid who after everyone was about gone just stood there, like he was lookin at a shootin star or something. Then he bended over and puked on the ground.

I heard my Dad whistle from the truck, so I had to go. Billy jumped from the branch when his Dad called. He landed funny and hurt his foot I think.  He might have broken it. It looked kind of funny as he was hobblin towards the truck. I slipped down the tree. The boy was still hanging there, kind of twistin like the rope was wound up. I watched for awhile and then Dad whistled again, so I had to get goin. 

Billy said the boys name was Teel or Emmet, somethin like that. He was from up north, by Chicago someplace.  I’d never seen anyone from up north before that I knowed of. They don’t look much different from the folks around here. I kinda thought maybe they would.