The Ordinary Garden Lamp Post

They say a lamp post is the beacon to all when you have forgotten where you have come from or where you are going. But how does one get to that beacon in the first place? Margaret Grimes wonders while reading her second story of Practical Magic In Everyday Life. A mouse appears from under her bed but Margaret doesn’t scream as he is her pet and rather good and sniffing out lamp posts, but not so good and avoiding trouble.

“It’s here again at the end of the garden. Tap your left foot three times and spin twice from your left, clockwise, and then it will light up.”

“Very well, Monty, let’s eat and dress and go travel through it for an adventure.” Slipping out from inside her warm covers, Margaret pulls hard at her large dark wood wardrobe. “I suppose one day I might grow into it like the handed down t-shirt from big sis. I still can’t reach my clothes hanging up there, so the folded grey check dress with white collar it is then.”

Monty’s whiskers twitch. “We need to get down there quickly while wiggly worm still sits there. He can call you back if we get stuck.”

                                                     ***

Out the back door to the garden, Margaret goes until she reaches four large rock steps which lead to a circular grab rail around the middle of a black Victorian lamp post. “I like the curvy bits that look like funny looking feathers. Good morning, I have done all the magic rituals. Now what?”

A cough has Margaret look up and around her whilst golden light from the see-through lamp post glass illuminates the top of her head. “I do not look funny. I am a distinguished lamp post if you don’t mind.”

Being a rather polite little girl, Margaret flushes red. “I beg your pardon. I meant that the decorations on you are nice to touch.” 

“Yes, yes, your pardon has never been so begged. Now hold on tight before I fly off and leave both of you behind. Good morning Monty, good morning Margaret on our second adventure this year.”

Margaret leans towards the lamp post and grabs onto the rail just in time. Whoosh it turns around super fast, leaving number one Maple Gardens far behind them. Dewy blue morning light in the sky swirls around Margaret’s feet while Monty holds his little paws over his eyes while sitting in her dark grey blazer top pocket while his whiskers still poke out. Margaret’s knuckles are white as she hangs on tight. “I wish mum would buy me long socks as I’m a big girl. I was ten yesterday and these short socks with silly white and pink bows are so last year and for babies too.”

“Sush, Miss Margaret, let me concentrate for a moment. Ah yes, my memory tells me that not all children have nice mummies or soft, clean socks, so you should be more grateful.”

“Goodness, I must be feeling rather rude today as it is my second apology and we haven’t even got there yet, Lyle.”

“Do be quiet, Margaret, or Lyle Lamp post will forget where he is flying us to.” Monty mouse replies.

                                                        ***

Golden sand and pale blue are the first sight Margaret sees once they land with a splash. “I don’t like salty water. It rusts my electrics.” Lyle moans as Margaret steps off onto the sea sand edge.

“Oh, poor lamp post, can you hover or rest on the sand instead?” 

“Being a lamp post I can’t shake or nod my head but know I am worn out for a hot minute and need to cool down.”

Yelling in the distance has Margaret cease swishing the sea water with her welly boots. 

“Look a child! Quick, grab her so we can sell her for a high price at the market.”

A soft prod on her shoe has Margaret look into the salty brine. “How do you do? Take this seashell and call for me and I will rescue you.”

Margaret looks closer at the turquoise hand offering the shell. A splash behind her has Margaret stare. A smooth wide tail flaps in the afternoon sun.

“It’s rude to stare at nice mermaids, don’t you know?”

Margaret lifts her palm to her mouth and raises her eyebrows. Taking the shell, she blows into it just before the four men in black trousers and boots arrive beside her.

Holding the huge sea shell up, Margaret releases her hand from her mouth and shouts, “Save me, kind mermaid, from these child snatchers!”

“Very well, but can you swim?” Asks the mermaid, returning her tail to the salty mass around them.

Margaret scrunches her lips into a rosebud shape. “My backstroke is a bit of a mess, but my doggy paddle is much worse. I could survive in a calm sea, but...”

“Yes, well, we don’t have time for this chit chat. Delbert and Daphne take us to my father.” The mermaid replies.

“Ah, look at those pair of beautiful pale grey noses. Are they Dolphin friends of yours? Oh, and pardon me, my name is Margaret. What’s your name?”

  “Thalassa, the gorgeous Greek people called me. I am the goddess of the sea. Happy days then, but now these pirates want my magic shells to steal human children. Quick, take my hand.” Thalassa offers her ocean tainted fingers to ease Margaret off the ordinary-looking lamp post onto the curved noses of the two waiting dolphins.

“Thank you so much.” Margaret says.

Lifting seaweed that’s floating by, Thalassa stretches the dark green salty stench into twine, which she swiftly loops around both the lamp post and young Margaret Grimes. “I have put bubbles of air around you and your pet until we reach my father King Onda, brother to King Neptune of the South sea.”

Taking in gulps of bubbles, Margaret shouts out woohoo! Diving away to pirates shouting, “Come back! I need a new house from your sale, hods bompkins it’s not our day.”

                                                         ***

Long slender under sea plants tickle Margaret’s feet and legs as they shoot through the waves and down to the North sea palace of King Onda. 

It’s getting very dark. Should I go home? I don’t want to worry my mum?” Coughs Margaret, but the goddess mermaid waves and points forward until a huge glowing collection of lights quietens Margaret’s questions.

Across the noses of the two Dolphins ripple a black long thing with a painted pointy end, which causes Margaret to let go of Lyle and hang on the bottom of the bubble barrier.

Wide toothed grins of pirates in a black submarine have Thalassa call out a loud echo. A large sucker-filled tentacle wraps around the dark mass and pulls it away. Inside the vessel, the pirate crew shout out on their device to headquarters. “Mayday, help! The giant Octopus Narceus has got us again. That nuisance Goddess Thalassa always ruins our fun.”

                                                   ***

“Here we are Margaret. Welcome to our mermaid city of the North sea region, which we call the Hyperborean sea realm. You will meet my five brothers and parents. I have a pet giant Octopus who can magically shrink into the size of a pup, so you’ll meet her soon.”

While Thalassa floats above her head to greet her huge father, the King, Margaret, rapidly blinks and rubs her eyes. “Monty, come out and look at this city under the sea. I wish my legs could change to a tail so I could be up there rather than making my neck ache looking up.”

“Margaret, you’ve forgotten you have magic again, haven’t you? Just spin around three times and say the words, but make sure you mention tail in the sea and legs come back to me on land. Or you’ll be stuck with a tail.”

After a pale pink flash of light with flowers floating away from Margaret, she swims up to greet Thalassa, who is laughing with her father. “I have been telling my father you are a Margaret, a witch with an ordinary lamp post who goes on adventures with your pet mouse, Monty. Now I see you can wish for a mermaid tail too. That’s even more exciting. Looks like you will give Margaret a different gift then, father.”

Long thick waves of silver and grey hair cascade past huge muscular shoulders, “Welcome Margaret friend of my daughter Thalassa and from this day have the forever protection of my trident.” King Onda says, thrusting his flame red trident onto his silver throne edge. A pale blue wave echoes around Margaret and her blonde hair turns pale blue for a moment. Webbing shows in between her fingers while she lifts them to watch them change and blinks. Scratching her hair line Margaret bows, “Thank you for your kindness your Majesty, but I really should head back as I’m not sure how long I have been here for.”

“Of course you can leave again, but please blow on this communicator shell if you ever need our help. Anytime at all. One of our guards will speak to you and help will be instantaneous.”

Thalassa hugs her father. “I will take her back to the water’s edge so Lyle can take them home.”

“Nonsense, my trident will have them flow through sea and air until they are safely home. That way, my guards can measure the distance to give Margaret help in the future.”

A growl from Margaret’s stomach has her blush. “Sorry your Majesty, but I really crave my Mummy’s sausage stew today and I didn’t want to make it with my magic in case I got too full and fell asleep.”

His thick silver blue hand raises to stop Margaret, “All is well child, go eat your human food and I will hold a fine banquet for you next time.”

Margaret claps her hands. “Oh, goody sausages and soft fluffy potatoes in thick gravy. Here I come.”

                                                           ***

They say a lamp post is the beacon to all when you have forgotten where you have come from or where you are going. But Margaret knows how to return home this time.

“Thank you for the adventure Lyle, you are very handy being my beacon and coming with me on this adventure. I will draw it all in my art book tonight and mummy will say I have a vivid imagination. Though we will all know it is all true.”

The back door opens, and a tall figure puts one slippered foot into the garden. “Dinner time Margaret and a piece of cheese for Monty, but wash your hands as you have been polishing that solid, wise old lamp post all afternoon. I bet your hands and nose are filthy.”

Margaret waves to Lyle. “See you tomorrow after school for another chat. I’m coming mummy!” Running towards the house, Margaret stops to look for the lamp post but its bright light dims and it fades into the shadows of the overgrown garden that her mum calls meadow natural.