A Sister's Secret

The silence around the dining room table was nearly deafening. The occasional clink of silverware against ceramic plates provided the only relief from the constant ringing in Sasha's ears.

"So, I guess we're just not going to talk about it then?" She asked sheepishly, looking down at her hands in her lap. More silence. More clinking. Sasha worked up the nerve to glance around the table, and not one of them had even looked up from their dinner plate. She turned her eyes to the ceiling to keep the tears welling in her eyes from running down her cheeks. Nothing makes a person feel lonelier than being treated like they are invisible. Her chest tightened at the thought.    

"I'm not hungry," Sasha squeaked, her voice trembling. Slowly, she backed away from the table and turned towards the stairs. She accidentally grazed her sister's arm as she hurried by. Grace winced. "Real nice," Sasha couldn't help but scoff.

Grace rolled her eyes and dropped her fork. It landed on her plate with a loud thud, "I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend everything is normal." Her chair screeched against the hardwood floors as she aggressively pushed herself back from the table. The chair wobbled in her wake as she quickly ran upstairs, eyes on the floor. At the opposite end of the table, her dad moved to get up, but her mom placed a hand on his arm, and with a shake of her head, he settled back down.

"She's right. I should be the one to go after her." Sasha closed her eyes and took a deep breath before heading up the stairs after her sister. She paused at the first door at the top of the stairs and laughed at the extravagance of the massive oak monstrosity standing before her. Through the crack in the door, Sasha could hear her sister crying. Without knocking, she slipped into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed behind her.

"Sasha." The other girl sobbed.

"I'm here, Grace." 

Grace sniffled several times before saying anything else. "How could you?" 

Sasha's heart sank. "I'm so sorry." 

"You should be…" Grace trailed off into another sob. She reached over and switched off the lamp, and Sasha knew she was done talking. She looked at her sister one more time before leaving the room and heading for her own. 

Sasha's bedroom, illuminated by the soft glow of string lights strung above her bed, was her sanctuary. It was the only place in this house where she felt she belonged. She strolled past the collection of childhood stuffed animals piled precariously in the corner, past the bookshelf organized meticulously by genre, to her dresser. The top of the dresser was littered with jewelry, fingernail polish bottles, and coins. Sasha looked up to view herself in the mirror; the dim light made it difficult to distinguish her features. She didn't know if she could look herself in the eye anyway.

One of the photos taped to her mirror caught her eye. The four teenagers smiling back at her looked so happy. Sasha's older brother Trent had his arm draped over her shoulder; the pair stood beside Grace and her boyfriend. Her eyes lingered on Kyle's face, tears threatening to form again. She stared at the picture, trying hard to remember everything that happened that night. It was as if someone had buried her memories, and she was clawing at the neverending dirt, unable to reach them.

–

Sasha could tell it was already late morning when she sauntered down the stairs the following day. Her parents were "whisper screaming" at each other in the living room. They did that when fighting because they thought we couldn't hear them, but we always heard every word.  

"What exactly are we supposed to do, Alan?" Her mom hissed.

"The right thing, Maggie." Even though barely above a whisper, Sasha could hear the defeat in his voice. 

"And what is the right thing in this situation? They're both our daughters."

Sasha heard her dad sigh and fall into the leather armchair. At that moment, Grace came barreling out of the back of the house with her coat and car keys. The purpose-driven look on her face was undeniable. Grace was about to do something stupid. Sasha rushed after her, not bothering to grab a coat or shoes. 

"Grace? Where are you going?"

Her determined sister didn't answer. Sasha heard the car doors click unlocked and rushed to the passenger side. Grace started the car and sped off down the driveway. 

"What is going on? Where are we going?"

"I have to go back," she said to herself, more than to Sasha. "I can't do this anymore. I have to tell the truth." Grace picked up her cell phone. From the other end of the line, Sasha could hear a muffled dispatcher: ‘911: please state your emergency.'

"I don't understand…" she stared at her sister with a confused look. 

"I need a police officer to meet me at Shallowfork Bridge. There's been an accident."

Sasha sat back in her seat, holding the door handle as Grace sped towards the park. She felt a sense of deja vu — Shallowfork bridge. Of course, the park! That is where Sasha and Kyle had gone on Sunday. "Wait, why are we going to the park, Grace? What accident?"

"I have to tell the truth." She hit the steering wheel with her palm. Sasha had never seen her sister so agitated. 

In what felt like seconds, the pair were at the park. Sasha couldn't even feel the cold ground under her feet as they ran towards the bridge. Almost to the bridge, her stomach lurched, and she stopped in her tracks. The world felt like it was spinning around her. Her legs were suddenly heavy, like she was walking through mud. She approached the edge of the bridge and grabbed the railing to hold herself up. Sasha looked around for her sister, but as she pulled herself to the middle of the bridge, she realized she was alone. That's when she noticed voices.

They were muted like she was listening to a conversation from the other side of a wall. But she could tell that one was Grace. The other was a man. Maybe the police officer? 

"When I got here Sunday night, I saw them together." She heard Grace explain. "I was so mad. I mean, he was my boyfriend, and she's my sister. What kind of sister does that?"

Sasha's stomach lurched again. The guilt she felt weighed on her like a lead vest. She and Kyle were probably standing in this exact spot on Sunday night when they kissed. Sasha closed her eyes and continued to claw at the buried memory. 

They were hanging out, waiting for Grace to leave her study group, when Kyle leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't planned, and she stopped it, but not before Grace saw them as she approached.

"How could you?" Grace yelled. She sprinted towards Sasha and Kyle, her face full of rage. Kyle stepped in front of Sasha as protection, but it didn't matter. The force of Grace's push was enough to send both of them over the railing.

Sasha opened her eyes and turned around warily. Below her in the river, she saw two bodies. One was Kyle. The other was her.