I will never ever apologise to Madeline Plink

"Ugh, Madeline Plink is a raging Bitch." I burst into the bedroom of my best friend Tom bag dropping off my shoulder I flopped on to the bed.

"Mhmm." Tom didn't turn his head as his fingers flew across the glowing keyboard.

"She thinks she's all that because she's the best at Art and Music and all the teachers think she's going to be famous or something. Plus she's always flirting with James in class." I ripped off my shoes without undoing the laces and wiggled my now free toes. "She's so condescending, she actually told me that my timing had 'really improved' can you believe it?"

Tom didn't respond but watched as his character moved across the screen to attack a much larger character.

"She kept asking for breaks to leave the class while we were rehearsing! So I said that if she couldn't hold it together long enough to practice she probably shouldn't be the lead! And the teacher told me off! Can you believe it, she wants me to apologise to Madeline! I won't."

Tom turned away from the screen with a small sigh "I don't think she is."

"What?"

"Madeline, I don't think she's flirting with James. I don't think she likes the attention."

"Hmph, of course she does." But Tom's comments had caught me by surprise "Anyway you beat the boss!"

Tom finally cracked a grin "Fuck yeah I did! I reckon I could become a pro at this, Dad even said that I could fly to Singapore at the end of the year to compete."

I flew over and hugged Tom thoughts of Madeline Plink almost out of my head.

Later that night back in my own room staring at the mirror poking and prodding my middle I could feel the energy draining from my body. I had felt so confident in the past week. I was attractive and effervescent. Like the woman in the Tesla adds sipping a champagne as my car drives itself. I could picture it so clearly. I would wear a white hat and dark glasses and a tailored suit jacket with shoulder pads that cut clean, sharp lines.

But now as I looked at myself in pyjama bottoms and a holey t-shirt stomach protruding above the waistband of my Kitty Kat shorts I could feel the creeping desperation well up. Hopelessness and anxiety taking over I pinched the fat between my fingers until it bruised. I wouldn't eat tonight. I would feign sickness and go to bed early.

A whole week had passed and I didn't have to apologize to Madeline Plink because she wasn't even at school. She was just proving my point wagging school all week she clearly didn't care about band that much. I had to beat out so many of the guys to get the spot drumming in the band and she was going to ruin my chances of actually competing. But Tom thought I was being harsh. Tom was just distracted by the prospect of Singapore he probably just didn't realise that Madeline was just doing it for attention. "Do you want to go to the Football on Friday night?" Asked Tom.

"Football? Since when do you want to watch the Football?" I was so blindsided that I almost forgot about Madeline.

"Uh, well." Tom had gone a vivid shade of red. "There's this guy and I think he might like me and we were gonna hang after he plays but, well, I don't wanna go alone."

"Oh, yeah ok. I'll go with you." I turned away from Tom, still glowing, this revelation had almost made me forget about Madeline.

"What time does it start?" I asked pulling my coat up around my ears.

"Six, uh, I reckon." Tom had been glued to his phone the whole time I was driving.

"C'mon dude let's have a smoke, he's probably just warming up."

"Mm ok." Tom was flushed again as we walked behind the stands. Well, it might just have been the cold.

Not two drags in and Tom finally spilled about meeting Zac at a house party. Zac played footy for a rival team and they were playing our school in the biggest game of the year. It was a night game and everyone would be going out after. It would be the best way for them to hang out after talking online for so long. I could tell he was nervous and I was trying to hype him up but I got distracted by "Madeline Plink?!" I hadn't meant to shout it so loud. She heard me. "Fuck."

Madeline Plink had seen us and was walking over she was, as always, immaculately dressed and wearing a fuzzy pink better. I suddenly felt out of place in my ripped jeans, flannelette shirt and denim jacket.

"Hey Jessie, I wanted to talk to you." Madeline said softly.

"Seriously? You don't show up for band practice all week and now you expect me to apologise to you!" My voice had cracked as I said this and I could feel myself going red.

"No." Madeline said firmly. "I-

But she was interrupted by James Prescott walking towards us.

"Madeline baby!" James shouted looming up on us in the dark. He'd clearly had a drink and he seemed more threatening than he did in classes.

"James get out of here." Madeline said softly.

Maybe Tom had been right, maybe she didn't like the attention...

James didn't even listen to her, he put his hands on her waist and swayed.

"James get off. " Madeline said even more softly than before.

He ignored her again and lent in to kiss her. Madeline dropped limp onto the rough cold gravel.

"James! Fuck off!" I surprised myself.

I bent down to check on Madeline as Tom warded off James. Tom might be a skinny gamer but he was taller than James by a full foot.

Madeline's eyes opened and her pupils contracted and expanded as she tried to focus in the dark.

"Tom help me get her to the car."

We half carried Madeline Plink to my car and sat her in the passenger seat. It was past six and I could see Tom getting edgy.

"Go on." I said "Watch the game. I'll stay here." Tom vanished quickly in the crowd of people entering the stadium.

The door clicked deafeningly as I closed it behind me sitting in the drivers seat. I'd never felt so self conscious sitting in my own car.

"I'm uh," I could feel myself going red in the face. "I shouldn't have shouted at you, are you ok?"

"I'm alright." Madeline's voice was stronger than I had expected. "I can't stand him."

I didn't know what to say.

"I have a brain tumour." Madeline said quickly. "It's not malignant but I have to have surgery and it's why I keep feeling faint."

"Oh, I-

"Not that I owe anyone an explanation." Madeline said fiercely. "Only I thought that you might be like me and we're the only girls in the band, we should stick together."

My stomach was rolling "like you?"

Madeline grabbed my hand decisively but her touch was soft. My hand tingled where the skin touched.

"I didn't think you were... I wasn't even sure if I was..." I was scared to touch her and hoping that she would not move away.

"And now?" Madeline asked, her voice softening as she said it.

"I think so." I felt the tightness in my chest disapate.

"I think we should stick together." Madeline was soft again and her fuzzy pink beret glowed orange as I lent towards her. It was quick and not perfect but I could smell her perfume and when our lips touched I felt like I could finally concede. I couldn't have been more wrong.

"I think we should." I said smiling at the really very beautiful face of Madeline Plink