The Records and Explorations of Billy Doelen

The Records and Explorations of Billy Doelen 

I wasn't sure if I'd ever be successful. After the first dozen attempts, I started to give up hope of discovering anything new. But I kept continuing with my experiments because I was sure that eventually, I'd be given the opportunity to make a name for myself. I knew that if I tried a little bit harder each day, one day I'd achieve my wildest dreams. And once I did, I'll record everything and spread the word, making sure that everyone knew the name Billy Doelen.

My name is Billy Doelen, and I discovered the Land of Vend.

How did I discover a strange land that no one even predicted would exist? It was the result of hard work, some calculations, and a fair amount of luck. I don't want to go into too many details, so let's just say that I used a hot air balloon and some maps, accidentally flew into a thunderstorm, and somehow ended up in Vend. Here are the records starting from my arrival there:

Day One

When I came to, the first thing I realized was that I was still alive. Joyous, I leapt out at the black and burnt remains of my hot air balloon, wondering where I landed. I noticed that I was standing on russet colored ground, with ruts and holes of varying depth. Mentally, I added to my to-do list to find the average depth of these holes. Even though the sky above was pitch black and empty of stars, I was still able to see because the ground seemed to be glowing. The eerie glow originating from under my feet cast a greenish tint on everything I saw, so I couldn't say for sure what color everything was. What caused this glow? Were there bioluminescent microorganisms living in the soil? But there weren't any discoveries of organisms showing those properties. Idly, I wondered what part of the world I've managed to lose myself in this time. And then I realized that I wasn't in Minnesota anymore; I was in a completely foreign land.

"Welcome," said a wheezy voice, "to the Land of Vend."

The voice belonged to a green… thing. For the sake of my record-keeping, I'd endeavor to write down my observations coherently. The closest thing I could compare the green creature to was a pear. It resembled a green, unripe pear, that someone molded a cartoonish face out of clay for and awkwardly stuck onto the pear. Its green skin was covered in strange, metallic feathers and the creature's stubby arms and legs seemed as out of place and roughly attached to its body as its face. I had to admit, the sight of this creature made me excited. Not only had I discovered a new world, but I'd found a strange creature as well. Just imagining the amount of fame I'd get when I returned to Earth and shared my discoveries was making me woozy.

But wait, what did it say? Welcome to the Land of Vend? Looking at the creature, I saw that its eyebrows looked pinched and… was it frowning? Was it annoyed with me? Have I discovered a sentient be–"

"Hello? Are you done gawking? We need your help." 

The creature started to waddle quickly to a nearby series of caves I hadn't noticed before. They almost seemed to blend into the surroundings but became apparent since the creature was heading straight towards them. The creature moved quite fast:, I estimate it to be nearly 4 miles an hour. 

"By the way," it said, "I'm Dactyl, and you're…?" When I told the creature, I mean Dactyl, my name, he just nodded as if it wasn't important. I began to feel disgruntled. Shouldn't he be more respectful, since he needed my help? 

But then a thought struck me: What if he was lying? What if he was planning to cook me in one of those caves and feed me to the rest of his friends? I was horrified. That's not the end a future world-renowned scientist should have!

"No!" I cried, "I'm not taking another step until you tell me what is happening!" 

At first, Dactyl looked at me bemusingly. Then he must've sensed my determination, because he sighed. He proceeded to recount the craziest story I've ever heard:

Dactyl told me that he was a Zog Dardhe, a feathered species that originated from dense forests. Dactyl seemed to take great pride in the size of his feathers, since he spent nearly five minutes explaining how attractive those feathers made him. When he asked for my opinion, I replied that his feathers were well adapted. I presume that their green color helped the Zog Dardhe to camouflage amongst the trees in their natural habitat, and their size might've helped them to attract mates. But apparently, now they were living in caves because they were outcompeted by the Lepurs, a species characterized by their large, upright ears and tendency to hop rather than waddle. Driven out of their homeland, the Zog Dardhe were forced to live in caves and were  now awaiting their savior.

"Legend says that one day a strange creature belonging to the ancient Njeri race will arrive and bring us back to our homeland. He'll arrive in the middle of the night, riding a flaming chariot," Dactyl concluded. "And that's you."

I was shocked. I was flabbergasted. I couldn't process what Dactyl said. Of 

course, I'd already known that I was meant to do great things. I've discovered a new world with exotic creatures, and once I returned back to Earth and shared my findings, my work would advance science in innumerable fields! But I was an explorer and a scientist first and foremost, definitely not a savior of any kind. I wasn't the kind of person to do anything out of goodwill, admittedly, I was just interested in exploring so that I'll become famous. 

But then I had a thought. What if helping the Zog Dardhe wasn't actually a ridiculous idea. What if it was an opportunity in disguise? If I helped them, I'll be able to gain their trust more easily and obtain more information about them and their planet. That'll surely help my research! But I was unsure about the risks of this decision.  What if the Lepurs turned out to be more fearsome than expected? I came to the conclusion that I'll have to gather more information before committing myself to their cause. In the meantime, I'll observe their lifestyle and make preparations for my return to Earth, in case I'd ever need a speedy departure. 

With the reassurance of being able to go back home at any time, I made myself a spot to sleep and got comfortable.

Day Two

When I awoke, I found numerous Zog Dardhe staring curiously at me. It turned out that their feathers didn't only come in green. Their colors ranged from dark blue to light pink, and there didn't seem to be any correlation between their color and their sex, their size, or their age. Is their coloring purely random? I would need to revise my earlier hypothesis later.

Judging from the looks of awe they were giving me, Dactyl must've told them that I was their so-called "savior" while I was asleep. Some stared at me in wonder, while others bustled around the cramped cave and offered me drinks, food, and assistance in making me feel more comfortable. Their food consisted of a gruel-like substance, and when I ate some, I found that it tasted like porridge.

The bedding Dactyl gave me the previous night was comfortable, so I stayed seated and observed what was happening around me. Once I was full, the Zog Dardhe shifted their attention away from me and started setting up a sort of camp. Curious, I watched as they pushed rocks together, forming a large circle. Were they planning a community gathering? I found out that my prediction came true. Zog Dardhe started to hop onto the rocks, and the seats quickly filled up. I was led from my warm spot on the floor to a large rock nearby and was told to stay seated until the meeting began.

"Ah, hem." An old, purple Zog Dardhe coughed. The meeting began.

"Greetings. Greetings to Billy Doelen, who we just heard is our savior. I speak for our community, and we welcome you. We are enormously relieved and delighted to hear that you've finally come to save us, and we are willing to provide any help you wish for."

 I jumped at this golden chance. What I needed most was information, 

especially about the Lepurs that Dactyl claimed I needed to defeat. 

"Tell me about the Lepurs."

The question barely left my mouth before the Zog Dardhe erupted into a turret of complaints. From what I could understand, they bitterly resented the Lepurs not just for driving then out of their homeland, which they found extremely embarrassing and shameful, but also for treating them terribly. Lepurs constantly raided caves that Zog Dardhe lived in, stealing food and precious resources. They terrified the Zog Dardhe for their own amusement. They prevented the Zog Dardhe from going out at night, because any wandering Zog Dardhe was just a victim waiting to be attacked. Hearing all of their accounts of their interactions with the Lepurs made it clear that someone needed to stop the Lepurs' oppressive behavior. 

But their stories also revealed exactly how dangerous fighting the Lepurs would be. They were ferocious in battle, and seemed to delight in causing suffering. They used technologically advanced weaponry. When I tried to get more details about the weapons they used, the Zog Dardhe refused to speak anymore. I concluded that their weapons must've been extremely fearsome as well.

Was I really expected to defeat these monsters? I'm just a scientist! I'm a pacifist; I don't like to get into fights. It seemed like my question was answered: it was too risky to fight the Lepurs for the Zog Dardhe. What if I got killed? Who would share findings then? It was high time to leave, I've already recorded plenty of observations. I planned to leave as soon as everyone was sleeping.

I have to admit, though, I felt a little regretful as I left the cave that night.

That was the end of my experience with the Zog Dardhe. But I was still stuck in the Land of Vend.

So, from there, I hurried to put as much distance as possible between me and the Zog Dardhe. Luckily, I didn't encountered any Lepurs during my trek. Once I found a safe place to rest, I started to prepare for my journey back to Earth. I needed a hot air balloon. I've lost the maps I've used a long time ago, but I've already memorized the most important parts anyway. The only problem I faced now was how to make a hot air balloon.

I estimated that it took me nearly five weeks, but I was finally able to build my own hot air balloon. I made the basket out of flexible sticks I found on the floor, and sewed the balloon myself using large leaves from short, purple hued trees I found. Once I was able to light the twigs I collected as fuel, slowly, the balloon began to swell. Soon I was out of Vend and heading back to Earth.

Now I have another purpose for sharing my records. Hopefully, once everyone knows about Vend, more people will go there. And maybe some of them would be more courageous than I was and help the Zog Dardhe.