Time and Friendship

Time and friendship

They say that time heals and erases everything. I experienced situations that I thought were very remarkable and today I only have the trace of such memories. Some of these tracks make me doubt the time, others make me grateful.

No, time does not erase all wounds. He passes. And sometimes we need it to process the damage. Measure trauma. Although today I am aware of its importance, I have always mocked this old saying.

When I was 14, my best friend, Felipe, lost his mother. It was a heavy blow for a 15-year-old boy to endure, having his younger sister to look after and a father who was never around.

I started spending a lot of time at your house after that. I felt the need to stay near and provide support. 

One of those nights, we were at his house playing poker on the floor. He didn't know how to play. I was not a good teacher. We spent the whole night playing and talking about things other than life.

We woke up the next morning and I left. I don't remember very well, but I had an appointment. There were no smartphones or accessible internet so I could check on him, so I spent the afternoon there again. I have been there many times for many days. Time did help. But the wound is still there. We grow together in the years to come. 

When I turned 18, I moved out of my folk’s house. I started a relationship that didn't quite work out and went to live in another country. 

Felipe went to another city, but still, close to the city where we grew up. We started to study and, month after month, our contact diminished. My heart squeezed with this distance that life imposed on us. But the vicissitudes of life are like that.

At 23, with a voice already closer to that of a trained adult, again out of a complicated relationship, I decided to return to my home for a while.

My parents welcomed me very well, as they always did. We had a barbecue, called all the family, and celebrated my return. Living with my parents and siblings was very complex, as I was just coming home. Full of new habits. It was a lot to process, I think. For me, it certainly was, because I was no longer used to living with them.

Although my contact with Felipe was rare, our friendship was apparently intact. We talked one of these days and had the following dialogue:

— Hello, Popoto? (Popoto is his childhood nickname, don’t bother about it).

— Hi, bro, how's it going? 

— Ah, you know, living life as usual. I am living with my parents again. Things are not going so well. But everything is quiet now.

— Hey, why don't you come live with me? I'm thinking of renting a bigger house because of the dogs, if you want, just come. — He said. 

— Seriously? — I said with a frown, the hand that didn't hold the phone starting to drum while I considered the proposal.

— Sure.

And so it was. In less than a month I had arranged everything to move to another city, with a little more privacy from my parents. All right, all good. Up to page two.

We had no money for almost anything and worked in bars to pay rent and bills.

Although I could count on financial help from my parents, Felipe was alone. So I decided that we would hold down the fort together. 

Felipe is a cook, bartender, and waiter, but he studied to be a programmer. And he was a great programmer, but like me, he has no structure for the formal market. Corporate pressure destroys our will to live, but you have to experience it, so you know how it is.

I work as a copywriter and as a columnist. Money is not good, since I am not so good myself. But he knew how to wash a cup and serve a table. The work flowed.

The feeling was that our friendship got even stronger with all the problems that we were overcoming.

When we arrived at the new house, for example, we had no internet, cupboards, refrigerator, stove and no bed. Luckily the water and electricity were turned on in time, but our first days were very peculiar.

We had a lot of fun with the new freedom. 

Two friends living in a house, alone and ready to take over the world. Isn't that how we see youth in the movies? Well, whoever writes these films, chooses not to portray the details in the care of a home. Incredibly, we managed to smudge a house without furniture, after all, we also didn't have brooms, cloths, and squeegees.

The first time we went to clean up the dog’s shit in the yard, we used a newly purchased hose to help make the job easier.

— Bring me the detergent, will you? - I remember as if it were yesterday from this question that Felipe asked me.

— Which one? — Exactly, which detergent? We hadn't bought a second package.

— Are you serious? - His incredulity left me incredulous. Life is funny.

— We bought ONE bottle. Acctually, no… not really, I picked one up at my folks’ when I was packing my suitcase to come, we need to buy things. — It was obvious that we needed it.

Felipe's already sullen countenance has become even more dismal.

In the days that followed, we already had two mattresses, for each of our rooms. We bought a second-hand table and 3 chairs (so we already had a place to sit, eat, play, study, watch TV, and rest. Life was good.

We asked for the internet on the first day at the house, since normally the first payment is only made in the second month. It is no news that they arrived just after 5 or 6 days and many complaints. I had no credit on my cell phone, so I had to complain about on a payphone.

Felipe was working during the day these days, so I had to solve these issues alone since I was still looking for work. The internet arrived and we were able to start looking for more jobs online, which is our expertise. 

We evolved a lot, we were children and soon we became adults. Responsibilities, precautions, savings, and health concerns. The marks of aging.

We talked a lot, every night. The themes were the most diverse.

— But what if we started to exchange letters so that in the future, someone compiles with our dialogues? — Yes, an idea like that could only come from a younger self. Dreamy, self-centered, and ambitious. I am still all those things, but now I have a little more sense of life and things. We both dream of being famous fantasy writers to this day.

— Yes. It's a great idea. Too bad we live in the same house. — His playful smile is still the same that amuses me currently in our video calls.

For reasons that we know and at the same time we do not, I went to live again in another country. An opportunity appeared and I reached the road. Felipe needed roots, I needed wings. But fear not, each of us reached both roots and wings, on our own time.

My relationship with Felipe was a little shaken when I decided to leave.

I moved back to Brazil and was ready to move back in with Felipe when I met the woman of my life. He also lives with his girlfriend these days, just like me.

My period living with Felipe seems timeless. It was one of the most intense and fun periods of my life. We went through hell to get a little more stable life and we are still trying, but our friendship has become something so incredible, that I can no longer not consider him my family.

We had some incompatibilities of living together, sure. As every family has.