Paper Beetles

The fire crackled and glimmered. Silas's eyes felt heavy as he gazed mesmerized at the dancing flames. What was this feeling in his stomach? It felt like something coiling around his heart, constricting him, and sucking all the life that he had once had out of him.

He and his girlfriend of two-years had broken up a few months ago, and he still hadn't gotten over it. On nights like these, he found himself awake, unable to comprehend what he was really truly supposed to be doing with his life. He had just constantly felt so bitter and empty.

Silas had been passionate about art, and he used to do a lot of it. But ever since his breakup, he just didn't feel up to it anymore. He didn't understand why. He wished that somehow, some strand of creativity could just reach him and comfort him, and then maybe, just maybe– he wouldn't have to feel so alone.

I should get some sleep….

Silas lay in bed, hoping that soon sleep would overtake him, and he wouldn't have to feel this weird twisted feeling anymore.

Tomorrow's a new day… he told himself. Maybe I'll find some sense of creativity then. Oh, how he longed for his younger days, when he would look at the world with bright eyes and wonder.

Silas found himself deep in a peaceful forest, the flora and fauna surrounding him. The trees seemed to sway peacefully to a song that only they could hear.

Silas was admiring a pretty blue beetle, when he noticed something had changed. The shadows around had become much darker. He looked up to see the sky had turned overcast. That's strange…. It had been sunny just a few moments ago.

He heard an eerie rustle from behind, and his heart began to race. He carefully turned around and saw that a tree branch was right in front of him. That wasn't there before…! Before he could even begin to figure out what was going on, the branch lunged forward, as if it had a mind of its own, and snatched Silas, wrapping itself around him and lifting him off his feet.

Silas looked around at the once peaceful forest and saw that all the trees had come alive, but not in the peaceful way he had once experienced. This was frightening! The trees now all resembled big black monsters, and they were all coming toward him, their branches tangling around and covering every inch of the forest. Silas struggled and tried to escape, but it was no use. He couldn't get out of the tangles of the tree branch that constricted him.

A sudden hoot of an owl pieced through the sky, and Silas found himself sitting upright on his bed, soaked with sweat.

He breathed deeply in and out, and wiped some of the sweat off his brow. He got out of bed and went into the kitchen to get some water. He didn't want to go back to sleep, so he sat at the table in his living room.

He gulped down the last of his water and spotted some playing cards. Fiddling with them, he found himself stacking them into a tower. He felt heavy in his heart, as he realized that he was trapped inside his own paper walls…. He breathed, and his tower collapsed.

Silas sighed. He got up and began pacing around in circles. What was he supposed to do? Why do I feel so alone? I need to get creating again, but what? What inspires me?

Then something hit him that sparked his imagination. He raced down into an old closet that he hadn't stepped into in years and pulled out paints, paintbrushes, and a large sheet of paper.

Silas thought about his dream – before it had become a nightmare – and brought to mind a picture of the blue beetle.

With a stroke, he began painting, first a blue beetle, then green, then pink, purple, red, yellow, and orange. He painted beetles in all the colors he could think of. He gave them designs like spots and stripes. He didn't want to stop. This was the most energy he had felt in forever. He felt so alive for the first time since his breakup, and he didn't want this feeling to end.

As Silas continued painting, he thought he saw a movement on his paper that wasn't the stroke of the brush. Confused, he looked over and tried to figure out what he saw. Something looked different. Strange… wait… what in the–? It appeared that the blue beetle that he had first painted – the one he had seen in his dream – had moved to a different spot on the paper? 

But that's ridiculous! He told himself. He was probably just hallucinating from lack of sleep. This would all make sense in the morning. He looked at his watch. 4:30. He figured he really should be getting back to bed. He did feel a little better now, so he stood up.

Taking another glance at his painting on the floor, Silas decided he ought to hang it up. He could use it to motivate him to continue creating art, no matter what negative feelings tried to get in the way. He couldn't control everything that happened in life, but at least he could control his artwork.

He squinted at the beetle, still not moved back from where he had last seen it. Maybe it was always there, and I just… forgot?

Hanging the picture up above the fireplace, he headed off to his room to go back to bed. He chuckled softly. I really need to get to sleep.

Silas awoke that morning to sunlight filtering in through the windows and the sounds of birds chirping. He got out of bed and went downstairs for some breakfast.

As he was eating some biscuits, he wondered about his picture and the events of the night before. He walked over to where he had hung it up above the fireplace and gasped when he saw that the blue beetle was now missing.

He sat down on the couch and stared into the fireplace, pondering what in the world might have happened, when the blue beetle fluttered down and landed on his lap. It made a strange clicking noise and looked up at him, its eyes full of wonder.