Bad Friends (Strange Things At School 1)

Written in response to: Write a story about a conflict that breaks out over something ordinary (like tea, perhaps).... view prompt


Funny Friendship


My friend was over for a cup of coffee, again. They may have been my friend but… They always made me mad, embarrassed, scared or worst of all… Small. They never came invited, they just showed up when they wanted a drink. “Here’s your coffee,” I said, handing them my dad's drink. (My friend lacks patience so I need to be quick.) “Coffee?” He asks in horror. I swallowed, if I get something wrong my so called friend makes me pay for it. “I want tea NOT coffee!” He screams. 

Okay I know you're probably asking why this guy is my friend and the reason is simple…

Thanks to him I have no friends at all. 

It all started at school one day, I was walking into school when I bumped into someone “Oh, hi there,” I said, he didn’t talk, “What’s your name?” I asked. “None of your business.” He stated coldly. That’s when I realised this was the School Bully. I had crashed into him and I could tell he wanted pay back. It was at that moment that the most annoying thing in the school showed up, his name was Jacksamjoeyelishachaseolivernoahchipsturtle. (Pronounced, Jack- sam- joey- elisha-chase- oliver- noah- chips- turtle) His parents couldn’t choose which name to give him so they used all the names they liked. 

Anyway Jacksamjoeyelishachaseolivernoahchipsturtle proved to be a bully buster, let’s just say the bully never got back up. Then he walked away before anyone realised what had happened and everyone thought I killed the bully… even my parents. 

Anyway, Jacksamjoeyelishachaseolivernoahchipsturtle was the only one who wanted to be my friend after that. I just guessed that if I wanted a friend I couldn’t be picky. I just call him ‘My Friend,’ now.

I walked into the kitchen and began making the tea. I was in a rush so I burnt my hand twice. I was so nervous that I didn’t notice as a cockroach crawled into the tea. 

5 minutes later…

I wasn’t sure why, but my friend was staring into the cup of tea I had made…

“Excuse me?” They asked, sounding disgusted, “What is it this time?” I asked. The idea of no friends at all was starting to sound appealing. “Why are you trying to poison me?” He asked angrily. I stiffen a laugh, right now I kind of did want to poison him. “What do you mean?” I asked. My friend glares at me and shows me the cup. I swallowed the lump in my throat. There was a Cockroach in the tea, and it was alive.

I knew my friend would punish me, but I didn’t know he would go this far. He tipped the tea down my back. I screamed at the heat of the tea and the squirming legs of the cockroach. But he wasn’t finished… Not yet.

He grabbed a fly swat and squished the cockroach into my back, then I threw up on my friend. He looked horrified and in a second he was running out the door, just as my dad walked in. He didn’t notice the mess, he just picked up his coffee and began to drink.

That night I went to lock the door only to find the key was missing, that was… Worrying. 

I went to bed and screamed the moment my head hit the pillow. My friend (NOW MY ENEMY) Had filled my bed with cockroaches. 

I knew what had to be done but it was going to come with a painful backfire, I was going to get revenge on my enemy.


I went to bed that night feeling a bit of guilt, had Chase’s punishment been too harsh? I had left the window open and fell to sleep unaware of Chase climbing through the open window…

I woke up the next day and jumped out of bed, onto a floor covered in marbles. I slipped and fell face first onto the floor. Okay, so Chase had gotten revenge. I guess I could forgive him for that. Unfortunately, when someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night it’s usually for something worse than marbles. In this case it was marbles and a lot more.

I was having breakfast and felt like some orange juice, so I reached out and grabbed it. It was covered in So Sticky You Can’t Get It Off Glue How dare Chase. I was going to be late for school now. I ripped my hand away from the juice and screamed in pain. I needed ice, I opened the freezer and pulled some ice out, then I dropped it in pain. It was HOT ICE, Chase was in for it.

I ran into my room and put my uniform on, careful to avoid all the traps on the way. I was about to put on my shoes when I thought about the cockroach yesterday… I shook my shoes, just to be safe. Chase probably knew I would do that because a flour bomb came out exploding in my face. Dang it. 

Chase had made up my mind for me, If it was war he wanted, it was war he got. If he thought the bully got it bad then he is about to rewrite the dictionary. I grabbed the door only to find it was attached to a string, the nearest pot plant fell on my head.

My mum and dad ran into the room Jacksamjoeyelishachaseolivernoahchipsturtle! What have you done to the house!?My mum screamed, I bit my lip. Chase had got me in a mess, a mess he wasn’t getting out of. 


My enemy wasn’t at school today, he must have got caught in all the traps. I will just have to watch my step when I get home. My dad was waiting for me at the gate, strange… “Hi son,” said dad… Something wasn’t right, dad was shorter than normal, he looked like plastic and he sounded different. Worst of all he was staring at me with blood thirsty eyes…

Oh no, “Hello Jacksamjoeyelishachaseolivernoahchipsturtle,” I stammered. He took off his mask and smiled. “Hello Chase,” he said.

January 11, 2022 02:15

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Arwen Dove
02:49 Jan 11, 2022

Haha! Very good story. I kept smiling while reading this. Full of humour, reminded me of 'Home Alone.' I love the way you kept the ending open, so that we can get our creative minds churning.


Chase .
02:50 Jan 11, 2022



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