The Truth About Chuckles

The truth about Chuckles was that he hated being a clown. He had taken the job because he had needed one, and Clown Co. was hiring. Why not? He thought, it’ll be fun for a time. But sometime within the years of birthday parties and balloon animals Chuckles realized his mistake. He was a very sad clown.

When Chuckles was a little boy, he had dreamed of becoming a superhero. The movies and tv shows portrayed muscular, handsome heroes who got the girl and always saved the day. Chuckles still dreamed of flying with a cape like Superman or saving the girl like Spiderman. Except his girl, he was certain, never noticed him.

Her name was Coco the Clown. He had seen her on his first day at Clown Co. She had been wearing a lime green yarn wig and a big red nose. He fell for her instantly. Coco was bright and cheerful and all the children loved her. It was on this day, the day our story begins, that Chuckles was determined to change things around.

He had just finished a mediocre juggling act at Rodney Jones’ fifth birthday party and was on his way home when Chuckles saw a billboard. “Be your best self!”, it read, over a picture of a glowing superhero with a cheeky smile and a handsome chiseled jawline. There was a phone number written across the bottom of the billboard. Suddenly, Chuckles ripped off his red nose and swerved his old clunky car towards the side of the road. He received loud honks from drivers by as he whipped out his cellphone to dial the number.

“Quan’s Dojo, how can I direct your call?” Said a cheery female voice.

“Hi,” Chuckles said nervously. He watched the red nose roll across the floorboard of his car and took a deep breath. “I’d like to be my best self please.”

“Oh,” the woman said. “You’d like to sign up for a class?”

“Yes I would,” Chuckles replied. “As soon as possible.”

“Alright well our next session is in about an hour…”

“I’ll be there,” Chuckles said, and hung up the phone.

It turns out that Quan’s Dojo was right up the road. Chuckles sat in his car until it was time to go in, tapping his feet in anticipation. He checked himself in the mirror and realized he was still wearing thick oil makeup, a rainbow wig, and checkered suspenders. He took off the wig and wiped what makeup he could off on his shirtsleeve. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. He received strange looks as he entered the Dojo. There was a pretty woman typing on a computer behind the front desk, and a toned man with dark hair throwing air punches across the room.

“Hi, can I help you?” The woman asked.

“I’m here to be my best self,” Chuckles said.

The woman looked him over, noting his comically large red boots and green slacks. “Right, you were the one who called. Well, Quan is ready when you are,” she said, gesturing to the main part of the room where Quan was waiting.

Chuckles entered the Dojo, his shoes squeaking on the blue rubber mats. Something about the bright industrial lighting and the floor to ceiling mirrors of this place were making Chuckle’s stomach queasy. He thought of Coco and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Welcome to Quan’s Dojo! I’m Quan, and you’re here to be your best self!” He said enthusiastically. “Get ready for an action packed afternoon full of punches, exercises, and inner reflection!”

Chuckles spent the afternoon learning how to kick a wooden board, punch a punching bag, and stretch until he thought his muscles might snap. By the end of their session, he was as tight as a rubber band and would probably be as sore as he ever had been before the next morning. But he had informed the receptionist and Quan that he would be back tomorrow, nonetheless.

That night, alone in his house, Chuckles stood in front of his bathroom mirror. He had a bottle of oil makeup in one hand, and in the other he clenched his favorite item that he owned. A black superhero cape, embroidered with a big letter “C” on the back in white thread, a gift from his mother last Christmas. He whipped on the cape and used the black oil makeup to draw fake contour on his face, creating the illusion of a chiseled jawline, like the hero on the billboard.

“I will go in tomorrow and be my best self,” Chuckles said to himself in the mirror.

And that was just what he did. When he walked into Clown Co. the next morning, he was not dressed in his usual attire, but in the cape and contour makeup. Coco looked up from where she was tying her shoes and gaped at Chuckles. Chuckles’ boss, Mr. Fred, came walking around the corner. Well, waddling more like. Mr. Fred was a short fat man with a shiny bald head, and he always seemed to have a lit cigar dangling from his thin lips.

“What’s the meaning of all this, Chuckles?” Mr. Fred asked, approaching him.

“Plain old Chuckles the clown is no more,” Chuckles said. “You’re looking at Super Chuckles now!”

Some of the other clowns laughed at this, but Coco did not. She only watched Super Chuckles with silent admiration.

The kids at the birthday party that day were a little surprised to get a visit from Super Chuckles instead of regular Chuckles but were appeased nonetheless with his unicycle act and his balloon animal tricks.

That night Super Chuckles, sore and tired as he was, trained at Quan’s Dojo again until he felt like his back might break.

It went on like this for several weeks, and Super Chuckles began to develop a reputation amongst the children. They started asking for Super Chuckles at their birthday parties instead of the more traditional clowns. Mr. Fred began to take notice as well.

“Well done, Super Chuckles!” Mr. Fred said one morning, about a month after Super Chuckles had really taken off. His training had been paying off as well, Super Chuckles had developed some muscle and the confidence to go along with it.

“You’ll be going in a pair today to…” Mr. Fred consulted his clipboard, “little Susy Havan’s sixth birthday party.”

“Pair?” Super Chuckles asked.

That’s when Coco the clown came walking around the corner. She was wearing a pink wig today, and hot pink overalls to go with it. He thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She waved shyly at Super Chuckles, who blushed and waved back.

Little Susy Havan’s birthday party turned out to be a grand affair. It seemed like all the children in the city were here, bouncing on the bounce castle or prodding Coco the Clown to pull the rabbit out of its hat one more time. The rabbit, it seemed, was over the tricks. Super Chuckles was balancing on his unicycle when Coco promised the children she’d pull the rabbit out of the hat one more time. She did so, and the rabbit jumped free from her grasp. The children cheered and chased the rabbit as it ran around in circles, dodging feet and sticky hands. It ran under the buffet table, which someone bumped into trying to catch the rabbit, sending towers of food and chip bowls crashing to the ground. The birthday cake flipped over, and someone stepped on it, smearing pink cake frosting all over the grass. The adults started to step in, trying to catch the rabbit as it ran and dodged grabby hands. The adults tripped and fell all over one another in a big pile. The children were going wild, having a grand time of it all. Coco was looking utterly helpless as she tried to chase the rabbit down as well.

Suddenly, the rabbit ran around the side of the house. There was, unfortunately, a house painter scheduled to paint the Havan family’s house at the same time as the birthday party. The painter was up on a ladder, painting away, when the rabbit dived under his ladder. Surprised, the painter stumbled, and his ladder began to wobble back and forth. At the same time, Coco had dove for the rabbit and was trying to grab it.

Super Chuckles gasped. The ladder was going to fall on Coco. Quickly, he ran over and using the strength and skills he had acquired recently and stopped the ladder at the last second, saving Coco, the painter, and the rabbit from all being crushed.

Coco blushed. “Chuckles, you saved me,” she said.

“It’s Super Chuckles now,” he said.

Coco then reached up and gave Super Chuckles a big kiss on his cheek. “You’re my hero,” she said.

Super Chuckles beamed. That was all he had ever wanted, and his wish had finally come true.