One Small Act

 On a warm, summery evening, as the perfect, clear sky slowly shifted from blue to bright pinks and oranges, then to purples and navy blue, Jane Hawkins thought she was going to vomit.

Normally, Jane was calm and collected. At fifty-three, she couldn't be called elderly, though she was beginning to show some age - her hair was starting to gray and had been cut to her shoulders, and wrinkles had started forming, particularly around her eyes and mouth. She had no children to speak of, though she had several wonderful nieces and nephews she adored.

But this evening, Jane found herself discombobulated. Her hands were shaky and sweaty, her stomach was roiling, and her mouth was drier than the desert. She leaned against the steering wheel, eyes shut, and breathed in and out slowly.

When the invitation for an unofficial high school reunion, thirty-five years after graduating, had arrived, Jane had been hesitant to attend. Her high school experience hadn't been terrible, but it had been mundane. Jane had made a few friends with some girls in her choir, and she had collaborated with others on group projects they had completed, but she otherwise remained solitary - not that she minded at all! She was very introverted and liked to spend nights in, reading a book or watching a television show with Harry.

Jane thought about simply turning around and going home, but knew she couldn't. At times like this, she missed her husband, Harry. Harry would have insisted they enter the venue with style and a flourish, leading her in like a princess with a full entourage, instead of the regular man and wife they were.

But Harry wasn't here. Jane had to have the style for him.

And stylish she was - Jane wore a richly-colored, purple gown that fell to her calves, a bright, silver ribbon wrapping around the waist, accenting the silver-colored swirls embroidered onto the skirt. The bodice modestly covered her shoulders but left the rest of her arms bare. To match it, her purse and heels were also silver, and her sister had braided an ornate purple flower band into Jane's hair.

Yet here Jane sat in her car, terrified to enter a room full of people to impress, who might judge her every move the second she entered. She hadn't been to such a large party in years, since she attended a Christmas party with Harry right after they married. Jane had been terrified of making a mistake - speaking or laughing too loudly or long at a joke, stepping on his boss's toes, or otherwise committing some awful social faux pas. But one look and squeeze of the hand from Harry, gentle and so loving, had been all she needed to steel herself.

She missed Harry more than she could convey in simple words.

Jane took one more deep breath, and just as she had those years ago, swallowed and steeled herself to see people she hadn't seen in decades. She pretended that Harry was right next to her, ready to grasp her hand when she needed him to ground her and remind her she was fully capable of facing this fear head-on.

Right by the door was a teenaged girl with a bright smile plastered on her face. She had on dark dress pants and a white, buttoned shirt. As Jane approached she said, "Here for the reunion? I can show you the way if you'd like!"

This girl's energetic nature reminded Jane instantly of her husband, and rather than sap away her will, seemed only to bolster it. "Yes, please...?"

"Oh, sorry! Name's Lacey," the girl said, offering her hand to shake.

"That's a lovely name. Please, call me Jane."

"Thank you, Jane!" Lacey beamed. She held the door for Jane, then added, "You look really pretty, ma'am."

"Well you're quite a charmer," Jane said, already feeling comfortable in the presence of such a bright person.

Lacey was a wonderful companion as she escorted Jane to the banquet room, chattering as they walked with a bounce in her step. Jane found it refreshing - Lacey had a certain joie de vivre that most people, herself included, seemed to lack.

"I'm volunteering tonight because my aunt knows Mrs. Walter - she's really nice, she offered to pay me but I wouldn't feel good about it - and someone had to show people in so, here I am!"

"That's quite kind of you. You could've been out with friends. Do young people still bowl?"

Lacey laughed. It sounded like a bell tinkling. "We do! I just felt like helping out. Mrs. Walter used to babysit me, so it felt kind of like paying her back."

"I remember Joanna was a babysitter in high school too, you know. One time, she and I had to do a project for our history class and we agreed to do it at her house. Imagine how shocked I was when I got there, and three kids were running wild like they owned the place," Jane reminisced. That had certainly been an interesting evening.

"Whoa," Lacey said. "I couldn't imagine making a mess at Mrs. Walter's house, although I guess she wasn't Mrs. Walter then."

"Not quite then, no. I'm glad she's been doing well." Jane wondered if Joanna remembered her too.

"I am too. A lot of people are here, I'm happy so many people answered her invitation and could come tonight. She put a lot of work into it.

"Well, here it is! See how pretty the fairy lights are?" Lacey whispered. Tables covered in delicious smelling food were set up on one side of the room, and classical music lilted throughout the room. True to Lacey's word, soft but beautiful lights were wrapped around the tables and hung on the walls.

"Thank you for showing me to the room, Lacey," Jane said with a small smile. "I hope you find time to enjoy tonight as much as I will. Sneak away and get some snacks. Oh, and before I forget, take this." She held out a few dollars to Lacey, a small tip in payment for a large gift.

Lacey's mouth fell open, and she said, "Oh no, ma'am! I can't take your money - I appreciate it so much, but I'd feel so awful! I'm really just happy to be here." She grinned brightly and turned, then stopped and added shyly, "But, maybe you could save a brownie or two?" Then she scampered off, probably back to the door to show in any late arrivals.

The pit that had resided in Jane's stomach was long gone, and her hands were no longer clammy or shaking. As long as there were Harry's and Lacey's in the world, she thought that she could be brave and go out into the world. Jane took a deep breath, silently thanked Lacey for her kindness, and took a step into the room.