Perpetual Stars

Anna was in her treehouse, her place of solace and comfort, gazing up at the stars in the sky without inhibition. Basking in their beauty and wondering how such tiny objects could shine so bright, lighting up the whole world at night. She wished she was a star, at least she'd be useful for something and she was pretty sure there was no body shaming in the star kingdom. No star got insulted for being too fat or ugly. Well, maybe that is because they are all pretty and uniformly sized. She would have a lot of friends and won’t stick out like a sore thumb

“Anna!!!” her mother’s shrill voice broke through her reverie. Anna groaned, all she wanted to do was to gaze at the stars through the night. “Anna,” her mum shouted again, “you better not let me come up there”. 

“I’m coming mum” she replied finally. Jeez, that woman needs to learn how to chill. Anna took her time going down, stairs of the treehouse protesting under her weight. She wasn’t exactly eager to hear what her mum had to say

“Anna Elliot McKenzie,” here she goes again (cue eye roll), “how many times have I told you not to stay in that dilapidated treehouse?, you might hurt yourself one day”. Anna scoffed. She knew that her mum, Isabella, didn’t care about anyone but herself, no surprise why their dad left. Anna's mum didn’t love her and made no pretense about it. She wasn’t quite the daughter her mum wanted her to be— stick thin, snobbish and the reason why the male species existed. Anna was well, the opposite and more. Her favorite hobby was to Netflix and chill, stuffing her face with ice cream while in her joggers and the only guy who she knew loved her was Austin, her 5year old brother and that was because she gives him chocolate whenever her mum wasn’t looking

“….and make sure Austin takes a shower and flosses before sleeping ', her mother finished. Anna stared at her blankly. ' You weren’t listening to me”, her mother made an exasperated gesture. Isabella kept her cool, she couldn’t get herself all ruffled up, she would have to deal with Anna later. “Now, I’m going to repeat myself for the last time,” Isabella said with a touch of annoyance, “I’m going for an auction and I’ll be back late, do not wait up for me. Ensure that Austin takes a shower and flosses before he goes to sleep, am I clear?”

“Crystal mum”, Anna said, the smell of Isabella’s perfume chocking her. “Bye”, her mum said with on a note of finality. No “I love you”, no peck on the cheek. What’s a girl to do to get some good loving, Anna mused.

Wistfully, Anna looked back at the tree house wishing she could stay there all night but someone had to wrestle Austin away from the Television. Walking back to the house she passed the back so she wouldn’t have to encounter her brother, her older brother Jeff. He was a pain in the neck, thinking he was smarter than anyone in his too tight jeans and sweater. Her prayers were not answered, Jeff was standing in the kitchen, sticking his fingers into the peanut butter jar and licking it clean. 

“Jeff”, Anna started, “you know I don’t like you sticking your hands into the peanut butter jar, it’s very disgusting.” Jeff, ignoring her took the jar with his fingers still it in it and left the kitchen. Anna sighed, at least she wouldn’t have to deal with him again for the rest of the night. Now, to take care of Austin, 

“Austin!!” No response, Anna shouted again walking out of the kitchen and into the living room . “Austin, get your little behind into the bathroom, you need to take a shower”. Still no response. Anna walked to where he was and found him absorbed in the cartoon he was watching, she closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. It was all she could do to keep herself from dragging him by his clothes up to his bathroom. “Austin,” she tried again, “you need to take a shower and go to bed.”

“But I don’t want to,” Austin’s whiny voice filled her ears. “Well that’s none of my business, it’s a school day tomorrow and you have to be up early,” Anna said as calmly as she could. Her nerves were already wrung tight. “Austin please, you need to take a shower and go to bed”. "Okay Anna,"Austin finally conceded. She could have kissed him right there and then.

The shower wasn’t as bad as she expected. Austin was quite complacent and quiet through it all. A miracle. Anna's tired body hit the bed. The weekend was over and she couldn’t wait for school the next day. Not because she had a Glee band waiting to sing the Happy song for her but because of Denise, her best friend. 

Anna and Denise have been best friends since kindergarten Denise with her pigtail and Anna with her pixie haircut bonded over a common love for crayons and have stuck together ever since then. Through the years Denise grew to have the body of am average cheerleader and the brain of a scholar, Anna was just her faithful side kick, Denise’s shadow. Anna had never cared, really. Denise had never made her to feel little, she was always by her side and ensured Anna was never bullied or insulted and was always there to comfort her during the times she couldn’t prevent it.

There were times Anna thought that their friendship story would turn cliché, Denise leaving her to roll with the “big girls” in school, kicking her to the curb. But, she trusted Denise even if she’s been acting weird recently like she didn’t want to be seen with her, Anna knew Denise would never betray their friendship.

The sound of her alarm clock woke her up from her sweet not so sweet dream. Sweet, because she had a boyfriend who doted on her and worshipped her. Not so sweet because it wasn’t true and will probably never be. Anna took her bath hurriedly, threw on her hoodie and joggers, no make-up. Make up wasn’t invented for girls like her. She had an oily face and the make up would have smeared before she even had the chance to show it off.

Dragging her oversized bag and body downstairs, she uttered a disgruntled “good morning” to her mum who replied with equal enthusiasm. Her mum wasn’t looking too happy and smug like she usually did after an auction. Anna had a feeling she got outbid but didn’t care enough to ask. 

Grabbing a granola bar from the dining table she dashed out of the house so she won’t miss the bus. She hated missing the bus because she’d have to run to catch up and running wasn’t one of her favorite sports. Not like she had any.

The bus usually picked Denise before picking her so Denise would have reserved a sit for Anna beside her and the both of them would chit and chatter about different things, mostly about Denise’s family. Denise had a wonderful. The All-American kind of family. A loving mother, a father who adored his wife, loved his children and a stellar brother, Aaron. Aaron had graduated from high school and with the stories Anna heard of him from Denise, he was the perfect kind of child, had excellent grades, never got into trouble and apparently Denise’s role model. 

Anna didn’t like to talk about her family, it was a sore spot for her and thankfully Denise understood and therefore didn’t push.

The bus pulled up in front of Anna's house and she got in eager to talk to Denise. Her eyes scanned the bus looking for Denise and stopped in shock when she found her talking animatedly with Olivia, the leader of the Olympus queens. The more shocking when Denise totally ignored her pointed stare. 

Anna eventually sat down when the bus driver shouted at her. She knew there must be some kind of explanation as to why Denise didn’t reserve a spot and instead sat with the girls they’d sworn never to befriend.

“Hey,Anna,” Anna closed her locker to see Denise, giving her a bored look. “You didn’t keep a sit for me,” Anna said without preamble.

“Yeah, I know that,” Denise said making careless gesture.

 “Why Denise?” Anna tried to act cool but she was freaking out inside. They have kept that tradition for so long, it was one of the things that kept their bond strong.

“Well, nothing really. Olivia asked me to sit with them and I thought, why not?” Denis said shrugging thought

"Why not?,” Anna said half shouting, “I can think of so many reasons why not, Denise”. “You’ve been acting really weird recently and you know how that affects me.”

 “Aw c'mon Anna, don’t be a baby about this. It was just one day in the bus with them, it’s not like we'll get married and have babies together,” Denise was upset at that point. True, she and Anna had sworn not too befriend those girls but that was before Denise saw them for who they really were and they weren’t all that bad. They just had to keep up with the high school stereotype and it wasn’t her fault that Anna was at the receiving end. Anna had to understand, their best friendship couldn’t stop her from having other friends. She really had to work on her insecurity.

“I’m going to class Anna, I’ll see you later,” Denise said, walking away.

“Denise wait, I’m sorry. I just thought…never mind. I’m sorry. I overreacted.,” Anna apologized giving Denise the puppy dog eyes.

“It’s fine Anna, see you at lunch,” Denise said with a smile, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

Classes dragged on, boring as usual. Anna played back her conversation with Denise in her head, she just didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t want to lose Denise but at the same time didn’t want to be a nag.

Denise was no where to be found at lunch or rather Denise wasn’t where she was supposed to be. She wasn’t at their usual table. Her location was all wrong. She was at their table. THEIR TABLE. Anna couldn’t phantom why Denise would be sitting there but she knew she wasn’t going to lose her best friend to some high-heel wearing, Gucci bag carrying set of Bimbos. Carrying her tray, she walked to the table of the Olympus Queens right in the middle of Olivia telling a story of her last relationship.

“Hey Olivia,” Anna said interrupting her “Madison, Christy,” giving each of them a nod.

The table went totally quiet, Denise with her head in her hands, praying silently that Anna would just go. Anna was still there when she raised her head up.

“What do you want Anna?” Denise asked giving her a tight smile

“Umm.. I thought.. you weren’t..” Anna stuttered 

“Denise, can you tell this thing to go away,” Madison said looking like she was going to be sick by just sharing the same air with Anna.

Anna expected Denise to stand up, take her by the hands and walk with her back to their table realizing that the girls were not worth it and Anna was her only true friend but the apologetic look Denise gave Madison told Anna none of that was going to happen.

“You need to leave Anna,” Denise said standing up. “Go away, please”

“Denise, wha..,what do you mean?” Anna asked, stung. 

“Anna, didn’t you hear me?” Denise said clicking her fingers in front of Anna’s face. By then, they had the attention of the whole cafeteria. “I said you need to leave, I don’t need you embarrassing me again.”

“ Embarrass you?” Anna asked perplexed. “When have I ever embarrassed you? Uhn, Denise, when have I ever?"

“You embarrass me every time Anna. You embarrass me when you cry because someone called you fat or ugly. You embarrass me when you call yourself my best friend. You embarrass me when you walk with me,” Denis said breathing heavily. “There I said it,” her hands spread wide. “You’re selfish, you only think about yourself."

"Aw, Denise, don't do this, you know how it affects me, aw, Denise stop that, you know how it affects me,” Denise was saying in a high pitched tone, mimicking Anna. “ Everything is about you. This friendship was built on the fact that you’re weak and I have to defend you every single time and I’m tired. I can’t deal with your insecurities anymore Anna. I..I can’t babysit you no more. You need to grow the hell up. I’m sorry Anna but this friendship is done” she finished with a sigh.

Anna was a blubbering mess and everyone in the cafeteria wore shocked faces.

“Let’s go girls, we're done here,” Denise said, giving Anna one final look.

Anna stared at the retreating backs of Denise and the Olympus queens not quite believing what just happened. She was stuck between crumpling on the floor in tears and running out of the cafeteria. She chose the latter. Her friendship story turned cliché after all.

Anna stayed in the school’s bathroom the rest of the day. She decided she won’t take the bus home, she wasn’t ready to face Denise.

She and Denise used to walk home together whenever they felt like not taking the bus. Now she was the only one. 

Anna had never felt so lonely. Denise who had been her only friend, her confidant, her shoulder to cry on had broken up with her.

She needed someone to talk to badly; her mum was a no-no, talking to Jeff was out of it and what does a five year old know?

Later in the night, Anna went to her treehouse with a tube of ice cream and a bunch of granola bars. She looked out her window, to look at the stars. She would never get over how beautiful they were and their commitment to coming out every night to light up the whole world

She stared at them, drawing comfort, knowing that they would never leaver her no matter how fat or ugly she got and they would never be embarrassed of her. They would always be there for her whenever she needed them. They were perpetual