Sister Sister

“The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together.'

William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

Dear Reader,

I find myself tangled in the yarn of life and wondered if I could seek your good advice? You all seem like a sensible lot with lots of worldly experience. My husband is completely sick of hearing me go on and on about the matter. The last time we spoke about the subject he simply said, ‘Look darling, they’re both attention seeking c**ts. What more is there to say?’

'Helpful' I replied. 'Perhaps a job in the diplomatic corps for you?'

How to explain the nature of my predicament? Maybe if I set the scene.

Ciao Bella restaurant, Bloomsbury, 26^th February 2024

I’m rushing from my office in Kings Cross to meet my sister-in-law, Dipa or ‘deeps’ as she prefers to be called.

We are meeting in my old Bloomsbury haunt ‘Ciao Bella’. I love Ciao Bella. When my now husband and I lived round the corner in our first flat together in Sandwich house, about maybe fifteen years ago, Ciao Bella was our local. And what a local! A family run restaurant with so much character. You really felt as if you were part of an amazing family drama, with each layer unfolding as each course was served.

There was always the youngest, slightly greasy- looking brother looking stressed all the time as he ran round the restaurant like a looney tune. We would call him ‘the poor brother’ who was always sent outside to wait tables in all weathers and looked like he was the butt of all the jokes. To an outsider the tables crammed tightly together, the staff shouting and running between tables looked like chaos.

But when you were in 'the know', you’d walk in and be greeted by most of the staff with a very endearing 'Buonasera signora’, someone would be playing the piano…usually something enchanting like 'the way you look tonight' and most customers looked like they were having the time of their lives.

There were so many memories, the Friday night dinners we’d have after a long week where we’d enjoy a delicious bottle of house red and not even have to suggest the type of wine we wanted as someone would always bring us something delicious. How wonderful to feel 'known' in a busy place with a high turnaround of customers from all over the world. It made us feel special. Andy then what to say about the food. Madone! A simple starter of Palma ham and melon followed by saltimbocca with beautiful green vegetables as a main. The owner, Gino would always come over to us towards the end of our meal and ask us what we had planned for the weekend. He would present us with two glasses of limoncello 'on the house for my beautiful couple' and we’d stumble back to our flat only a few twists and turns away. Then there was the memory of my thirtieth birthday with family and friends. It's funny thinking back to those times, so different and yet the same themes. We were both carefree, my sister kept storming off to the toilet in the hope that her then boyfriend or someone (preferably everyone) would notice and follow her which no one did, and my brother sitting next to his girlfriend, Hannah.

And now I was back in London which seemed such a world away from my current life in North Cornwall. I had ‘popped up’ to the office for a few days to see people. I strolled along the Euston Road and round the corner to lamb's conduit street savoring every moment and memory from all those years ago.

As I approached the restaurant, I heard my sister-in-law before I saw her.

‘Rebbie’

‘Deeps’

A big cuddle ensued, and I felt overpowered by her very strong perfume.

‘It’s rammed in here’ said Deeps with her very broad Yorkshire accent.

‘Aye I know.’ I said trying not to imitate her accent. It was a habit I had. I did the same with my American colleagues at work. I blame Netflix and all those wonderful Mills and Boon dramas. I often felt I was living in one.

‘Hope you’ve not been waiting long?’

‘No not at all. I just got here. I got the tube to Russell Square and walked up.’

‘Oh good. I forgot how long it takes to get anywhere. It takes me a year to get out of my office. Such a warren.’ I worked for a large international book publisher and their main office was in an old granary which meant on the odd occasion I did venture into the city, I usually spent a lot of time in the office wondering how the heck to exit.

‘Buonasera ladies. I shall take you to your table.’

‘Aah Grazie Mille e Buonasera.’

‘Buonasera.’

‘There is something so sexy about the Italian accent.’ Deeps commented.

‘I know, gorgeous!’

‘Ladies, what can I get you to drink?’

We looked at each other and in chorus said ‘wine!’

'Thank you for coming to meet me. It's so good to see you. Hope jimmy didn’t mind that you abandoned him.’

‘Oh, he's fine. He was going to come but he was stressing about getting his presentation done. I said to him there’s no point in coming to meet you, wolfing down some food and getting back home to work.’

‘Goodness, how's jimmy?’

‘Oh, he's fine. Works a piece of piss for him.’

I was doubtful about that. He seemed to work far too many hours and his recent seizure suggested otherwise. I also knew it wouldn’t take long for the subject of a certain someone to arise. Indie had ‘smashed it’ in the city many years ago but all the long hours had taken its toll on her health, so she was in effect a lady of leisure. I certainly wasn’t impressed by the thought of all that pressure. For what? To fuck up your health later in life?

‘Did I tell you what happened on Christmas day? Have I seen you since then?’ Deeps asked.

‘No because we headed off on holiday after Christmas. How was the lunch?’

‘It was all very odd. After you guys left in the morning, we all sat down to eat, and I sat next to Aunty Jane and Uncle Karl as I knew they would be happy to drink loads of red wine and then jimmy sat next to your sister and the boyfriend. They didn’t say a thing to Jim the entire lunch.'

‘Well, that’s why we decided to dodge it. We knew it would be awkward.’

Kieron and I had had a chat about Christmas day and as the previous Christmas Day had been less than relaxing with my sister and her suspect boyfriend pretending to play with our 6-year-old so they could avoid any adult engagement. So dull.

As Deeps carried on chatting about how inconsiderate they both were, I tried to pinpoint the exact moment that she and my sister went from being the best of friends to truly venomous enemies. Both loud, both enjoyed staying up late to finish all the wine mum and dad had at home to barely coping with being in the same room together. Families!

I think the major issue had been the affair.

After my brother broke up with his girlfriend Hannah, I had suggested to him that he come skiing in Switzerland with Kieron and I and a couple of friends. My brother also invited his lifelong friend Richard and Kieron booked the most amazing hotel for the six of us. It was glorious, we all skied together and one evening at dinner, when there was lots of bravado from the chaps around the table, all trying to outdo each other with their macho stories, jimmy announced ‘I've been shagging this really hot girl.’ I almost spat out my wine. What? My little brother. Did he actually say that?

‘How did you meet?’ I asked completely disbelieving. 'At work? Is she in your team?’

‘No, she’d my boss’s boss.’

‘What the fuck?’ said one our friend Ed.

‘We had a team building night out and she certainly helped with the bonding.’

‘Oh, dear god jimmy.’ I said.

‘Do work know?’ asked Kieron.

‘Well probably as she has a cheeky pic of me on her desk.’

Oh, don’t be so silly. Are you not worried?’ I asked getting increasingly irritated that my brother was playing with fire.

The boys carried on drinking and making smutty remarks and I headed to the bar.

And after that, I can’t really remember much about the first time I met Dipa. She was very quiet and stared a lot as if she was taking it all in. After a year of dating, my brother went to see Dipa’s dad to ask for her hand and then planned a very elaborate proposal in New York. I couldn’t believe my brother was capable of such things as he was such a mummy’s boy and without sounding harsh, I assumed totally useless when it came to such matters.

I remember arriving at the Midland hotel in Bradford the night before their wedding. It had taken hours to drive up from Sussex where we lived at the time. I walked in and marched up to the bar ready to demand a drink but then saw Jimmy looking so happy and surrounded by friends that the long journey disappeared.

The night before the start of the three-day wedding in typical Sikh culture, James hosted a dinner for our side of the family. My sister had recently become engaged to her long-term boyfriend Paul who was a sweet chap and she spent a lot of time talking about her wedding to guests. After far too much wine and whiskey with dinner, we all retreated to the bar and hollered up with Deepa and some of her family and friends. Kieron and I chatted to Paul and asked him about how his personal training business was doing but we all noticed that my sister had decided to move chairs and sit very closely to one of deep’s cousins, Sunny. He didn’t seem to speak that much English and my sister was performing a sort of strange game of charades with him. They were both laughing. Paul seemed to get more flustered by the moment and started hollering ‘Sal, Sal, come over here.’

‘In a minute’ she called back in a drunken slur.

‘Sal, Sal. Over here. We want to ask you something.’ Paul continued to call increasingly angry.

But my sister continued to sign and giggle and looked like she was about to fall into Sunny’s lap so I went over to her and helped lift her up and head back to where we were sat. Sunny smiled and I apologized.

The next morning, we all headed down for breakfast. I saw Paul looking very sheepish sat near my mum and dad and wondered if he had had an argument with Sal.

The wedding day felt like a whirl of images- both families meeting for tea in the morning. I remember meeting Jason who was married to Dipa’s middle sister. He said hello to Kieron and myself before saying ‘it’s interesting isn’t it. All three sisters marrying a non-Sikh man.’ Kieron said, ‘I guess that is quite interesting.’ Other members of our family and friends of the family remarked at how it was a lot for jimmy to commit to taking part in such a different ceremony but I simply said ‘well that’s what you do when you love someone’. 

After a busy couple of days filled with traditions, visits to temples, dance off's between men and women and lots of lots of whiskey, James and Dipa returned to their new life as man and wife and I couldn't believe my sweet little brother was a married man.

A few months later, my sister Sal left her fiancé Paul and joined me on my work trip to Paris where one evening she admitted to seeing Sunny.

'But what about Paul Sal?' I asked.

'I just didn't love him and now I don't know what to do. I'm pregnant'

After a bottle of wine each in Ciao Bella, Deepa continued 'shall we have one for the road?'

'aye I think so'