Freedom River

Tessa paced a short, tight line in front of the raging river in the dying light.

"Damn it," she whispered. "Damn it to heck." 

Tears threatened to spill. This morning's freak storm could very well mean her death.

The freedom Tessa had stolen was sealed up in a box on the other side. Had to bury it yesterday on account that Don nearly caught her and she'd panicked. And yesterday the river had been a mere trickle. Now if she wanted to go up to the road and back down again instead of across the river, it would take way too long and her chance would be gone. Dusk had settled heavily, the trees already featureless. Her stomach rumbled.

Tessa knew at least her mom wouldn't be getting worried; addiction did that to people. 

She shivered as she paced. Had to get that box.

"Damn it to heck. Damn it to heck," she said.

"Heck, indeed, young lady."

Tessa went cold. Adrenaline surged through her as she spun to meet him, knew before seeing that it was Don. And he was here to kill her.

But it wasn't. 

It was a scrawny white guy. In a coat and dark pants, long hair, wet through like a rat who had just passed through the river and who perhaps hadn't seen food in days.

He stood about ten feet away, hands up. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that," he said. His voice was naturally high pitched. "Not going to hurt you."

Tessa knew better. She looked for the biggest stick and rock she could find and grabbed both.

"Fair enough," he said, inching forward anyway. "My name's-"

"Go away!" she yelled, swiping the stick through the air.

He stopped moving. "Woah, okay, easy. Now, consider. If I had wanted to hurt you, I would not have shown myself. That would have been more like a snake than I am." He smiled and...did he giggle? "Which I can assure you I am not."

"What then?" she said, aware that what he had said was sort of true. Pretty sure he had giggled. "What do you want?"

"Can I take my hands down? I'm cold and, well," he said, shivering, looking at his body as if to say, Not much here by way of warmth.

Tessa had already decided the man couldn't be too much of a threat. She knew what big, strong men could do to women, even men who said they loved them, let alone to somone they hated. But this guy?

"Yes, you can take your hands down," she said, while still keeping her's up.

He breathed a sigh of relief and blew wind through his mouth and started rubbing his hands together. 

"Thank. You. For. That," he said, smiling again. "Name's Fen."

He smiles a lot, she thought. Not a great sign but not the worst.

"Tessa," she said. "You trying to cross the river?"

He nodded. "I've been trying for a while now." Looked left then right. "You wouldn't believe how much the river winds in and out of the suburbs and plots. Makes it hard to find a clear space." He frowned. "You trying to cross, too?"

She finally lowered her arms but kept the stick and rock. "Yes."

"What the hell for? You live that side or something?"

Her jaw clenched. "None of your business."

"Okay, fair enough, easy," he said, patting the air. "I only ask because...well, never mind." He looked past her for the first time, at the river.

"What?"

"This part seems to be shallower," he said, pointing. "And there's some rocks there, see?"

Tessa turned to see what he was pointing at a second before realising her mistake; yet he just walked straight past her to the edge of the water and went down on his haunches. In her surprise she hadn't had time to raise her weapons of choice.

"I think I can cross here," Fen said. Then added after a pause: "We can cross here, is what I mean."

The weapons came up. "Oh no, I'm not stupid. No ways I'm going across with you."

Fen sat still on his hanches, looked at the ground, nodded. "Fair enough and easy. I never said you had to come."

He stood up and stared at the water for a moment. 

Tessa could just make out the silhouette of his slightly pointed ears.

"Well," he said without turning, "I hope you make it to the other side."

Was that another giggle? she thought. And the thought infuriated her.

"Hey!"

Fen turned around quickly with his hands up, a surprised look on his face. "Okay, fair easy."

She had to have that box; was almost as good as dead if she didn't get it, anyway.

"Are you a creep?"

Fen stood almost dumbstruck by the question. "Uh...I don't like to think so." Then his face set harder in it's resolution to disagree. "No. I am not a creep."

Tessa realised that she had started shaking, too.

"I will bash the hell out of you if try anything with me," she said, knowing almost certainly it was a lie.

Fen nodded. "Fair."

She threw the stick on the ground but kept the rock. "Okay, how are we doing this?"

He grinned a little at her sudden bravado. "Calm and easy. You on my shoulders, to those rocks." He pointed again. "We can see those rocks, means the bed is not as deep down, which means the currents are weaker, too. At the rocks, we climb, repeat on the other side." Now he smiled outright, then turned around and dropped to one knee. "Hop on."

 Box, she thought. 

Mom.

Tessa climbed on Fen's shoulders and he was up and in the water with a speed and strength she hadn't expected. Water hit her legs and she sucked in breath from the cold, dropped the rock and gripped his hair for fear of falling off.

"Ow!" he yelled. "Quit pulling my hair and stick your arms out! I've got your legs!"

"What?"

"Stick your arms out! Ow ow!"

She stuck each arm out to the side like she was told and immediately stabalised.

Fen started laughing, wading deeper still. "Are you trying to get us drowned?"

She didn't answer.

They made it to the rocks without incident, and even though Fen was breathing hard, he climbed up with her still on his shoulders, and carried on going.

"Shouldn't you rest?" she said.

He didn't answer as they went into the water again.

"Fen?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine! So. Close." That's when Fen took one more step and dissapeared under the water.

"Fen!"

But to her amazement they carried on going; she could feel the grip of his hands on her thighs intensify.

A few moments later Tessa was flying through the air, propelled by Fen's absolute need for air, landing half-in/half-out of the river. She clawed her way up the bank to drier ground.

Fen burst up a second later, sucking in a huge breath before scrabbling up the shallow bank and collapsing on to his back.

"Made it!" he yelled. "Ha haa hehehehe!"

What in the hell are you? Tessa thought, sitting down next to him.

It was fully dark now, but luckily a nearby house had an outdoor floodlight.

"So," he said in between breaths. "What. Are. We. Looking for?"

She gasped. "Damn it, heck, the box."

After the ride across the river she'd forgotten about the box. Great going, Tessa, she thought. Great heckin' job.

She got up, ran over to a thicket of close bushes marked by a dying yellow fern, and started moving and digging up piles of smaller rocks.

A moment later she pulled out her freedom and opened it to see if it was okay. 

She opened the box and smiled broadly; relief, fear, the unkown, a small chance to perhaps start again. She wasn't sure. Nor did she care, when it came to her life as it was.

"What's that?" Fen asked from behind her.

She shut the box quickly; a little voice - the one that had told her she and her mom had to get out of that house, or Don would eventually hurt them badly - spoke up in her head.

"Nothing," she said. "It's..." That's when she realised she'd let go of the rock when they'd started to cross.

She stood and turned around, box clasped with two hands close to her chest, like a scared child with a blanket they don't want to part with.

Fen looked the same as he had when she'd met him; but his expression was different.

"No," Tessa said, tears welling more, "please don't, I need this box for my mom I wasn't lying."

"I know," Fen said, his voice low. "But I've been on the move for a week now without much in way of help and," he looked at the box, "I am in need of payment for services rendered. You going to try and sell that thingy?"

Tessa started crying; couldn't help it.

"Please, Fen," she said, "I need the money. To get out."

"Get out?"

The tears rolled down freely. "Don, he. This is his and it's worth a lot of money. And I have a guy who's going to buy it tonight and it has to be tonight right now."

Fen stood silent a moment. "I'm sorry, Tessa. Easy. I haven't eaten in a-"

Tessa took off running.

She didn't need to look behind her to know he was chasing.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" he shouted from behind.

She could tell he was gaining with each step, she as clumsy as a giraffe and he as nimble as a- 

"Ah!"

A rock gave way under her foot or she just tripped and went sprawling to the ground, the box flying out of her hands to God knew where.

She cried out in pain as her knee hit the ground, tumbled over and over toward the water eventually landing face down on the river bank.

Lay still a moment, dazed. Then got up furiously looking for the box. But it was gone. She saw Fen running away, no doubt with it clutched in his thin fingers.

"No, Fen!" she shouted, crying. "He's! Gonna kill us!" Now sobbing. "I packed our bags. And everything!"

Tessa sank to her knees and cried harder, oblivious to the cold and the night and the sound of rushing water, cried for the freedom that was in the hands of someone else again, someone she trusted, even if only for a brief moment. 

"Foooool!"

After crying herself out, Tessa surveyed the mess that was She with puffy, red eyes; yawned wide and shivered. Clothes were sodden, her pants ripped here and there - a coin-sized blood spot had appeared by her knee - but otherwise just bruises, she guessed.

What she felt most of all was numb. Outside and in. It took all of her strength to stand up and stay standing, but she did. Even though she knew that each step she took homeward, each breath she breathed were her last. When Don got home in the morning and saw his Commodore missing…

Tessa got home around ten that night after a two hour long walk which took her back up the river to the where the road began, and back down on the other side.

All the lights in the apartment were out except one in the kitchen. She let herself in.

The apartment was quiet but for the ill ticking of the broken wall clock, and it was just as cold as outside. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol and burnt food polluted the air made her think of the mafia for some reason; her nose wrinkled subconsciously. 

Tessa closed the door behind her and dropped the keys on the floor, making her way deeper inside.

"Mom?" she called softly.

Found her passed out in bed as she knew she would. Looked at the packed bags next to the dressing table and fresh tears rose up. Climbed in to bed, put her arms around her sleeping mother, the battered, scared, beautiful and confused woman.

"Shhhh, mommy," she whispered. "We're together. And that's all that. Matters. The morning. Will. Come."

Even though the terror still clung to her like stalagtites, she drifted off quickly, her body giving up to exhaustion.

I tried, mom, she thought.

Something tickled Tessa's face.

In her dream it was a feather, light and…

? 

When it tickled her again she realised it was wet, yet was still a feather and that's what convinced her it was a dream.

Her eyes bolted open and she sat upright.

She looked at the light coming through the windows and frowned.

Far too bright, she thought.

Is Don here? Is that who woke me up?

She couldn't bring herself to say his name, so as quietly as she could she put on her robe, and listened.

Silence. Couldn't hear the broken clock in the kitchen. Nothing moved in the apartment.

She put a finger up to her cheek and felt moisture. It wasn't tears.

Suddenly she burst out of bed, ran to the apartment door and flung it open.

There, on the floor, was an envelope. 

Tessa, it said.

Her heart pounded. She looked up and down the corridor but no one was there. Picked it up quickly and shut the door, only to realise she'd missed another part: meet me outside by the alley. Leave the envelope.

She dropped it on the counter and went out to the alley.

"Hello?" she called tentitively.

"Heck," came a voice from behind her. "You look worse for wear."

When she turned around, he put up his hands. "Woah, okay and easy."

Tessa's face rippled with a thousand emotions; joy, confusion, rage, terror, sadness.

"How could you do that to me?" she shouted. And even while she was shouting she could sense her emotions were too strongly attatched to this strange man. Was it based on the terror she felt for Don?

"I know what it seems like," he said, his eyes low and looking down. "I feel as bad as a creature could feel about what I did. But I had to do it to make sure."

"Answer my question!" she shouted.

"Okay, fair. I can't tell you all, but rather. That if I had wanted to take that game-thingy to sell it and run, I would not be standing here." 

And by God, he began smiling again. 

"As I said before. That would make me more of a snake than I am. Which I can assure you." Now he giggled outright to Tessa's face. "I. Am. Not."

"What's in the envelope, Fen?"

"Something better than the game-thingy," he said without hesitation. "Your freedom, as you say."

Her face hardened. "When Don gets back he's. He's..."

Fen's face turned sombre. "You know, Tessa. If you had been Don, or perhaps somone like him, I would not have been so...polite. Perhaps you would not have made it across the river. I am not a snake, that much is true." Now he straightened and seemed to grow in height, the light of the alley dithering in and out as if dappeled by shadows. "But what I am. Eats snakes."

A bottle smashed nearby and she turned to look. "What are you really, Fen?" she asked. "I could swear you were some kind of-"

But he was gone, leaving behind only an echoed giggle.

Back at the apartment she opened the envelope and burst into tears - it was a day for smiling and crying, it seemed. There was enough money there to get the tickets they needed and then some. Perhaps enough for a new start.

A seperate note fell out:

Dear, Tessa,

This is half of the money I got for the game thingy. Half for me, half for you. I am not a snake, but what I AM is also not a saint. And don't give an extra thought to Don. He's with more like-minded people now, anyway. Happier for everyone!

Take care, young lady, fair and easy,

Fen.

P.S Did I tell you I have excellent hearing?

Alone in the quiet and ever-lightening kitchen, tired and dirty and hungry and also still angry at the heckin' man, she cried one last time. 

Could she let herself believe it? The ever present fear was still there, would perhaps always be there like a rough and damaged tattoo; habits die hard, and this still felt surreal. There was so much to process, about what had happened last night, this morning. About what could have happened to Don. 

Fen.

What mattered most, though, Tessa decided as she went to wake her mom, fear or not, was their freedom to live a life.

That she and her mom would get to choose.

END