The Long Long Drive

Submitted into Contest #58 in response to: Write a story about someone feeling powerless.... view prompt

2 comments

Drama

My feet won’t fit into my shoes, maybe a villain came and shrunk them with a shrink ray while I was sleeping. 

“Hurry up!” Mom says as she grabs her purse.

 Mom takes my hands and sticks them into the sleeves of the jacket, she turns and twists me, and out of nowhere a hat lands on my head like a space ship. Whoosh. I spread my arms out and wobble like I’m in space.

 “Put your shoes on, I’ve already asked twice!” It’s mom's angry voice. 

 I try again. This time the feet fit, maybe the shoes got bigger like a balloon, but no one blowed in them. 

 She puts her hand on my head and steers me out the door. The snowflakes are falling and I want to catch one with my tongue, but she is moving me towards the car. She opens the door, and I climb into my car seat. My car toys are all here. I have three Hot Wheels cars, two transformers, and a stuffed owl. The stuffed owl is the softest, but the cars are the fastest, they like to race each other. I am halfway into my car seat when she picks me up and puts my butt into the seat.

 “I want to buckle,” I say, but she is already pressing the metal claws together. I like to do it myself, it’s like doing a puzzle, I can put so many pieces together easy, but she does the buckles and now I’m sad. I can feel the tears coming to my eyes.

 “Not today baby, we are already ten minutes late.” She slams the door.

  Now I can only see her back. She is driving. We’re going to story time and it always takes a long long time to get there. I pick up a red transformer, he transforms into a fire truck. Oh no! The evil owl is attacking him. He tries to fight back, but then the owl uses his super beak power, and the transformer is hurt. He calls his friend the blue transformer for help. The blue transformer transforms into a police car, he will arrest the owl and put him in jail.

“I will get you, trouble maker!” The blue transformer yells. He goes in with the handcuffs.

CRASH!

 Someone pushes me so hard I almost fall out of my seat, but the buckles keep me in place, they are too tight and hurt the front of me. Everything is spinning. My blue transformer flies into my forehead. Where is mom? I don’t see her. Everything stops moving and I’m scared and all my body things hurt. I start crying. Mom? It takes a million seconds for her to open my door. The tears are burning my eyes and I reach for her. It isn’t mom. I cry much harder. It’s a man, a stranger, and he takes my buckles off. He takes me out. He is holding me, his beard is scratchy and he smells sour. I push away with all my might, but he must have super strength because he is still holding me.

“MOM!!” I yell. I twist my neck to see. “MOM!” 

The man walks away with me, then he turns so I can see the car. It’s the same color as ours but the shape is all wrong. The front is crumpled like when we do crafts, the car is made of metal, not paper, how did it crumble?

“MOM!” I am crying so hard I might throw up.

There are three people around the car, but not mom. Did the big push make her disappear? I need to find her, she’s the best at hugs and kisses and playing with me. 

“It’s ok little man, your mama will be alright” The man’s voice is deep, I can feel the rumble in his chest when he speaks. “You hear the sirens? They are coming to help. You’ll get to see a firetruck.”

I look up from the crumbled car. The firetruck needs to hurry and find mom. 

“It’s going to be alright” The strange man keeps repeating. We stand there and wait. I don’t have the energy to fight him anymore. My face is wetted from tears and the snot and the snow. I wipe it with my sleeve.

I can see the fire truck and the police car now. The sirens are too loud, I don’t want to look, but if I don’t look I might miss it when they find mom. The firemen get out and they walk over to mom’s door. There is a saw, but I can’t tell what they are doing. I didn’t know firemen used saws. I hope they don’t cut mom. I’m very scared, not just pretend, like when we play at home and mom is a zombie. 

I can’t tell if all this is real or pretend, cars aren’t supposed to bend like paper. The noise from the cutting is too much, I cover my ears. The man keeps saying something, I can feel it in his chest, but I can’t hear the words because of my hands.

Another person comes. The man gives me away. I start crying again. This person is a woman but she isn’t mom either.

“No need to fret buddy, what’s your name?” She asks

Peter, but the words won’t come, only tears. I hit her with my fists, I can’t tell if she feels me hitting her at all. She puts me down in the back of a truck. Where will she take me?

“I am going to check you out. Make sure you are ok. My name is Melissa, and my friends are working to get your mom out of the car. She is ok, just stuck in there. They have these cool tools to open up the door and let her out.” Melissa is touching me all over. 

“Ouch,” I say when she gets to my forehead.

“You got quite a shiner there. But no worries, I have a special bandaid just for you, do you like Paw Patrol?”

I nod. 

She puts the bandaid on, it feels big.

“Want to see? I bet you’ve never had Marshall and Chase on your face before.” She smiles at me. 

I nod again. She walks me over to the front of the truck. I wasn’t sure I could walk after the big push, but my feet still work. We get to the side mirrors and she picks me up. My face is all red and puffy, but there is a brand new bandaid on my forehead, it raises up a little where the booboo must be. I touch it.

“Ouch!”

“Yeah,” Melissa says. “It will hurt for a few days, but it can remind you of how brave you are.” 

In my games brave doesn’t feel like this. Brave is saving mom, ripping the car apart, and not getting hurt at all.

“Peter??” Someone screams.

I don’t recognize the voice, it’s all high. I turn and see mom, she is on a bed with wheels, there is red on her skin and her clothes. Melissa puts me down, she grabs my hand and we run over to mom. I want to give mom a hug, but Melissa holds me back, I want to hit her again. Mom lifts her head.

“Are you ok?” I have never seen mom cry before, not even when she cutted her finger when she was making soup that one time. 

I want to hold on to her and not let go, but someone is wheeling her away. I want to run after her, but I’m not fast enough. All I see are people’s legs and the bed wheels being loaded into an ambulance. I can’t see mom anymore. I might explode. I pull after her, and Melissa picks me up again. I wish I was bigger and taller and stronger, I wish I could hug mom, I wish the car didn’t crumble, and mom wasn’t red. I let Melissa carry me into the ambulance. She puts me on a bench and ties belts around me. I can see mom, she is sleeping. I wish she would hurry up and wake up.




September 11, 2020 13:15

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2 comments

Natalie Johnson
12:03 Sep 17, 2020

I thought this was great! I like the way your writing style mimicked a child's thought pattern. Maybe some of the commas could have been semi-colons, but I am just nit-picking.

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Inna J
16:26 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you! This style is greatly influenced by the book "Room" by Emma Donoghue. If you like somewhat heavy books I highly recommend it. And I really appreciate the grammar comments too, I don't think I've ever used a semi-colon :)

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