A Performer

" Wow! That has been the most entertaining seven minutes of my life! Ladies and Gentlemen, an applause is a must! Thanks Jamie for such an amazing show! We hope you grow to great heights with this beautiful talent of yours....." The host cheerfully exclaimed, making the audience brightly applaud and cheer for the aforementioned performer.

Audience. What a word. A simple word that can bring chills all over my body. I stood backstage, watching the host as she read her scripts expressively with nothing but confidence and grace.

Oh how I wish I had at least a pear amount of that.

" Max!" I flinched when someone yelled my name making me look at the specific direction, and there comes my sister holding my orange juice in her hands.

" Here you go," she handed it to me which I willingly took, hands already shivering, when the host began introducing the next performance.

Placing her hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner, she smiled as she watched me wear a frown. " Are you alright?" she snickered, probably finding it funny that I was going all nervous over a simple stage.

" Stop it." I said, now looking away, I should have figured out before that she was not going to be any sort of help to relieve myself. I could hear her faint laughter making me glare back at her as she was being ridiculous.

" Chill. No ones gonna kill you up there," she snickered making me angry. If she wasn't going to help, the least she could do was not worsen the situation, but the latter was exactly what she was doing.

" Thanks for the juice, I think you should get back to Mom and Dad,now." I suggested before slurping my icy orange juice towards her face on purpose to irritate her.

" Oh, I told you I hate that sound!" She hit me on my arm before instinctively blocking her ears. I smiled as I watched her annoyed face, it somehow made me a little relieved.

" Okay then, best of luck, I'll leave," she said naturally before giving me a good number of pats and walking out the same way she came in, and I watched her back slowly fade, until she was completely out of my sight.

My hands were shivering badly, and I can not stop it no matter how many times I calm myself with 'it's okay's and 'we can do this's. I wish Katie came back, I couldn't figure out that her presence beside me made me feel better.

I'm not a specifically diagnosed glossophobic, but it was stage fright. All thanks to a kindergarten ordeal, the special most moment I messed up on stage and had to be a subject to laughter. The experience was so embarrassing for me, that even after so many years, it still affects me.

I rested my left hand on the wall, now bending and watching the stage through the open curtains.

" Yeah really, but I think our performance is gonna be the best! Don't ya think?"I heard some of the performers who spoke to their partners.

I scoffed. At the least, they have partners and someone who can share the same space under the spotlight, and even cheer each other up with bright words. Unlike me, a solo. I have no one who understands me or tries to cheer me up. I am all alone.

That thought brought me the shivers and chills all over my body. Imagining the situation over the stage, I think I would faint, due to the breathlessness caused by a look at all of the audience. The spotlight would be all over me and only me.

All eyes would be on me.

Any body who would look at me could make out how badly nervous I was. Considering my trembling lips and shivering body.

" The next performer is Logan Lewis. Who's gonna amaze us with his amazing dance moves, Ladies and Gentlemen! Give it up for Logan!!"

But the applause slowly went silent, and there was no sound anywhere. No one was entering the stage. I frowned and that's what everybody else did too.

In a span of seconds, the organizer walked into the backstage area, now asking our Monitor about something. Probably about Logan.

The both of them chatted about something before the organizer looked into her writing pad.

" Maxwell Jones?"

I widened my eyes when my name was called. Were they calling me? Or am I hallucinating?

" Maxwell Jones, are you present?!" This time it was real, and the organizer sounded really irritated. I quickly stood up and walked to her, showing my presence.

" Are you Maxwell Jones?" She asked, checking her analog watch, and looking back at me.

I nodded.

" We don't have Logan in here and you're the only solo left, so, you can go instead of him,"

It took me a few seconds to register what she was saying, I frowned terrified. " Ma'am, is there a possibility I can go after this, I'm not ready yet," I asked hesitantly as I was already scared looking at her huge frame.

" What? You're all dressed up and good, you're anyways giving a vocal so, go,"

I was on the verge of panicking,my body was badly shivering, I just stared at her pleadingly as she hurriedly wrote down something on the writing pad,

" Do you wanna perform or not?" She bawled irritated by my silence but my mind went blank completely. Eventually nodding, I asked if I could pee once before going on to the stage, to which she unwillingly agreed.

"Okay, but make it fast, you must be there by the time the host finishes your introduction,"

I hastily ran and locked myself in the room, sitting on the toilet seat and letting out all of the fluids inside me.

I'll just stay here. Forget it, I won't perform anything. I just can't do this.

" Oh we see, we see! Logan Lewis is not available to perform currently! But, anyways, we have been watching dances for too long! Time for something different!"

I heard the host and this time my ears, my mind, my body everything went blunt. Placing my palms on my thighs reluctantly, I closed my eyes.

Really? What If I won't perform? What about all of the months and months of overnight practices? What about all the times I troubled my family's sleep with a loud voice at mid night? What about the classes I missed to write the notes of the song?

I was not at all nervous for the numerous rehearsals what's wrong with me now??

And what if I actually perform? What if I make mistakes, and everybody laughs at me? What if my voice cracks in between? What if I turn out to be untalented in people's minds? What if I fail to put up a good show?

Different questions flooded my mind, and tears were escaping my eyes....

" If all of you are ready to be an amazing audience and witness a mesmerizing performance, then buckle your seats and tune up with me for this journey Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's all welcome Maxwell Jones! Applause!"

What if I....

What if I....

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes.

What am I doing this for? To show my talent, and take a step towards my passion, and inspire people with my voice. This one step can be a big step towards a huge world of opportunities.

Am I hoping something in return? Nothing... I just want to express myself, and plant myself in to people's hearts.

Even if mistakes happen, now I don't care.

" Maxwell Jones, cue please!"

What if I.....

.................can do this?

Banging open the door, I ran towards the stage. Already apologizing to the angry organizer, who was gritting her teeth at me.

Hesitantly, I walked on to the stage, and stood before the mic. A void filled in my stomach as I looked at the thousand pairs of eyes on me.

Don't look at them, don't look.

I sighed out deeply.

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If I can't fight this now. I can't fight this forever. I can do this. Period.

I held the mic and brought it closer to my mouth, now beginning to sing, allowing no sound to interrupt me. Let the music even stop and I'll still sing! Let the world burn and

I'll still sing.

With my voice coming out of my stomach, I sang loudly giving my all. I sang like it was my last day. At a point, I couldn't hear what I was singing, but it was too late to care.

" Try to lock me in this cage.... I won't just lay me down and die.....I will take these broken wings and watch me burn across the sky...hear the echo saying I..."

Singing the final breathless high note, I noticed how everything went silent. Nothing was heard except my voice and the music.

" Cause I know that I won't go speechless..." I ended the song with a long sigh, now opening my eyes, and the whole audience were speechless.

Before I even could jump into thoughts, a small applause began, which grew and grew, and I could hear thousands of people screaming and cheering my name. Their chants filled my ears and all of my body, making my hair stand up right.

I had goosebumps all over.

Bowing down as a gesture of thanks, I smiled through my tears as I watched everyone scream their voices off for me.

" Well well, isn't that undeniably the loudest audience response out of all today? All thanks to the brave and amazing Maxwell! Oh dear, raise your hand with me if you had goosebumps too, cross your fingers hard to not fall in love," The host said making me chuckle as I nodded.

She called me brave.

I walked out of the stage,my whole body felt so light. And the worst part, I was still shivering. My whole body was in a saturated state.

That stage, that air, that light that fell upon me, that audience, that applause, those screams and out of all,

me?

Was I even myself on stage? I felt like a different person has walked in and a completely different person walked out. Shaking my thoughts away, I turned back to the exit, that's where I met the organizer again who smiled at me,

" You're a performer." The organizer said, startling me. A moment later, I thanked her for the compliment.

" You were being so nervous for nothing,I was worried it would turn out bad,but the opposite was how it was." She said making me smile.

" Thanks a lot," I said but she shook her head.

" You know who a performer is? Someone who owns the stage he performs in. Once he walks on to that dias, he owns everything. The air, the sound, the audience, every thing would favor his command. And that is whom you exactly were. So thank you a lot, for performing. You added life to the stage today." She said smiling and I nodded.

Maybe she was right, I am a performer.