The Reptican Onslaught

Submitted into Contest #60 in response to: Write a post-apocalyptic thriller.... view prompt

5 comments

Drama Science Fiction Thriller

 “Hey Lisa, we got another one over here, ”

“Is it still alive?” asked Lisa as she held her nose with a handkerchief, trying to block out the smell, today was especially hot and the putrid stink of decomposing bodies that surrounded the pair didn't help.

“It's alive, but just barely, ”

Brian watched as the reptican trembled on the ground its breathing was slow and it was looking up at him listlessly awaiting its death. Right now you don't look so vicious, thought Brian. 

When a humanoid reptican was coming at you full speed there wasn't much time to think, but when one of them was looking up at you defenseless it was hard to kill.

“What are you waiting for? Light it up,” said Lisa

Brian sighed and began to reach for his pistol

“Save your bullets for the ones that want to kill you, idiot,” Lisa said in a teasing manner.

Brian scoffed as he doused the reptican in high proof alcohol, “I don't think this one would hesitate to kill me if it got the chance.”

As if on cue the reptican lunged for Brian’s leg in a last-ditch effort, Brian leaped backward and the reptican fell over exhausted. 

Brian sighed, “That was close”

Lisa burst out laughing, “That’s what you get for trying to be sympathetic, ”

Brian rolled his eyes, trying to act irritated, but it was in vain because he could feel his lips curling into a smile. He reached into his pack and pulled out a box of matches and in one fell swoop the reptican lit up in flames, Lisa and Brian watched for a moment in comfortable silence as the tendrils of smoke went up into the high noon sky.

“Check the daiget, see how far out we are,” Brian said breaking the silence

“4,546 meters out,” Lisa said in response looking down at the daiget in her hands

“Alright, that's all for today. Let's send Rivera back ahead of us,” Brian said as he scrawled a quick status update onto a sheet of parchment.

He put his fingers up to his lips and let out a shrill whistle, seconds passed before the pair saw their falcon, Rivera, he landed onto Brian’s forearm with a small shriek.

“Rivera, take this to perimeter control,” Brian said as Lisa secured the note to the falcon’s leg.

Rivera let out a trill and flew away towards the home base. The falcon messaging system was used for short-range communication and had proved indispensable to the human population.

“Let’s head back,” Lisa said, walking ahead of Brian

Brian nodded, “Where did you tie up the horses?”

___

After a short while of high-speed galloping Lisa and Brian made it back to the home base. It's faster when you're not killing repticans on the way, thought Brian as they approached the main gate. 

“This is the LB5 unit coming back from perimeter patrol. Please open the main gate,” said Lisa into her daiget. 

Moments passed before the gate creaked open and Brian and Lisa rode through. 

“Any good kill out there,” one of the guards asked as the pair dismounted and handed the horses to a couple of attendants

Lisa chuckled, “A few. . .”

She paused before looking at Brian, smirking, "Brian would have gotten killed out there if not for his fast feet, "

Brian grimaced, “Hey, let's not talk about that, ”

Lisa and the guard shared a laugh at his expense much to Brian chagrin. He hoped to become a squad commander by next month, so the thought of potential subordinates laughing at him was embarrassing.

“Hey, I'm gonna head out, but see you in the mess hall later?”

Brian nodded, “Yeah, I'll be there, ”

Brian looked at Lisa's retreating form, he remembered when they first got partnered together they had kept butting heads, but as they each got used to each other they had become good partners that understood how the other worked. 

“Lafont, ”

Brian was shaken out of his thoughts at the sound of his last name, he turned to meet the owner of the voice. It was one of the squad commanders, Brian didn't know him personally, but he had seen him at his initiation 5 years earlier. 

“Commander, sir?” Brian said, saluting the commander

“At ease, soldier, I was sent to get you by the chief. Something serious to discuss”

Brian bristled at the thought, he was just a regular soldier, why would the chief want to speak to him? Brian followed the squad commander out of the main street and into an inconspicuous building. The fact that the meeting was here and not at the grand hall where meetings with the chief usually took place made Brian even more nervous.

“Sir, Lafont is here,” the commander said, saluting and stepping to the side to reveal Brian who had been trailing behind him.

 Brian quickly saluted, “You wanted to see me, sir?’

“At ease, soldier,” the chief said with a kind smile on his face.

The smile calmed Brian's nerves. Chief Fredrick was a tall man with a calm demeanor. He was named chief of the home base when Brian was a young boy, he had always looked up to the chief so being in his presence had proven to be very overwhelming.

“Brian I have called you here today with a matter of great importance. It has come to my attention that something very alarming has happened, ”

Brian's stomach was in knots as the nervousness and dread slowly crept back into his body

“A discovery has been made of a form of the reptican race hiding right under our noses, ”

Brian gasped, “Chief, how is that possible?!”

The Chief's face turned grim, “Repticans disguised as humans. . .

and your partner Lisa is a prime suspect, ”

Brian felt sick to his stomach, would Lisa betray him like that?

“I know this may come as a shock to you, rest assured that nothing is confirmed yet it is just a suspicion, “said the chief

“Where do I come into play in this, chief?” asked Brian

The chief nodded, considering his next words carefully, “You are her partner, she trusts you. This afternoon I need you to get her into a secluded place and get the truth from her. The commander will trail behind you from a distance and intervene if needed, ”

“Lisa isn't like this,” Brian pleaded, “She wouldn't do this,”

The chief nodded sympathetically, “I understand how shocking this is Brian, but we need to ensure the safety of our citizens and take down any threats before they harm the greater population,”

Brian looked down at his shoes truly conflicted, Lisa was his partner, his friend even but he also understood how gravely the human population would suffer if the repticans were to infiltrate the home base.

“Brian, you have a sworn duty to protect the greater population no matter the cost. . .Will you be helping us?”

Brian nodded his head as he held back the urge to throw up.

___

Brian sighed, he was sitting at their usual table in the mess hall. There was no sign of Lisa yet and he felt his hands trembling. Calm down man, don't freak out, he thought to himself. 

Brian jumped as he felt hands grab his shoulders. He turned to find Lisa standing behind him, hands raised in a sign of peace. 

“Whoa, are you good? I didn't mean to scare you, " Lisa said with a concerned look 

“No, I was just lost in thought, I didn't hear you come up," Brian said plastering a smile on his face.

Lisa nodded but didn't look completely convinced.

“I'll go grab our lunches, try not to freak out while I'm gone,”

Brian let out a sigh as he watched Lisa's retreating form head to the assembly line to grab 2 bags of food. She came back quickly and sat down at the table with a thud. 

“Ugh, you won't believe what happened after I left today; I was trying to round up the Gresner kids because Leslie asked me to do her a favor and…”, Lisa stopped talking and looked at him quizzically. 

Brian was confused about why she had stopped talking until he realized that he hadn't looked at her the whole time.

“Sorry," he said sheepishly, “ I’m a bit distracted tonight,”

"Yeah, but why? Why are you so on edge?" 

Brian shook his head as if to say nothing, but Lisa wasn't letting up, she grabbed his hand and said, “I'm your partner, remember? Whatever it is you can trust me.”

Can I really be sure about that? Brian thought to himself, but he decided to keep it quiet for now, he needed to be in a more secluded place before they could talk freely.

“Let's go to your room, I'll be more comfortable if we talk there”

Lisa nodded as she got up from the table.

__

Brian closed the door to Lisa’s room and turned around to see Lisa standing there. They stood in uncomfortable silence for a little while before Lisa decided to speak up.

“So what is it that's got you so jumpy?"

Brian took a deep breath steeling his nerves before saying, “Who were you before you came to base 3 years ago?”

Lisa cocked her head to the side in a confused manner, “I don't understand what you're talking about"

Brian gritted his teeth, his frustration rising, he got closer, speaking in an aggressive and hushed voice, “Lisa the higher-ups are suspecting you of being a reptican!"

Upon hearing the word reptican Lisa's eyes became as wide as two saucers, Brian scoffed as he viewed her reaction.

“So it's true then?" he said, hurt.

“No Brian I-”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. That must be the commander Brian thought to himself. Lisa looks conflicted if she should finish her thoughts or answer the door. Brian couldn't even look at her. The sooner the commander takes her away the better, he thought to himself.

“ Go open it," he said, turning his back away from her. 

Lisa hesitated for a moment but decided to go answer the door.

Any moment now Brian thought to himself the commander will put her in handcuffs and bring her away for questioning. Brian felt incredibly sad, a person he thought he could call a friend had betrayed him.

"Brian!" Lisa yelled in a choked voice

Brian turned just in time to see the guard from earlier that had asked about there kill count grab Lisa by her neck. The man looked normal enough in everything except his hands, he had a big reptile-like claw with long vicious nails that were held against Lisa’s neck.

"Brian! It wasn't me. I came to this base to track down the repticans that killed my parents! It's him, he's the monster, not me, "

The guard smiled, “ I guess there's no use in hiding myself anymore"

Brian watched as the man's face began to shift into the grotesque scaly face of a reptican, he was shocked

“You. . . from earlier”

The reptican attempted what might have been called a smile with rows of sharp gangly teeth to show for it. 

Lisa whimpered under the hold of the reptican, “Brian I could never betray you like that you mean too much to me"

Brian nodded, “I'm sorry for doubting you"

The reptican laughed horridly, “Aww, isn't that's sweet and they all lived happily ever after. Except I can't guarantee that either of you will be alive by the end of this. 

Brian furrowed his eyebrows trying to stand his ground, if he was going to die he wasn't going to die scared.

“You repticans are disgusting and vile and even if we die, humans will never stop hunting you down till all of your race is dead” he spat out angrily.

The reptican hissed in anger, “Let's get this-”

The reptican didn't have time to finish his thought as Lisa threw her leg back and hit him in the stomach. He doubled over stunned, Lisa began to make a break for one of the knives that had been left out on the kitchen table, but without any weapons, humans were utterly defenseless against repticans. The reptican lunged for Lisa, easily grabbing hold of her again and before Brian could do or say anything the reptican bared his fangs and Brian watched in disbelief as Lisa's head fell off of her neck onto the floor, her head rolled to his feet and looked up at him with her last facial expression of absolute fear. 

Brian fell to his knees as he looked down at poor Lisa’s face

She's dead, he thought to himself he could feel the tears that threatened to fall down his face.

Bang!

The sound of a rifle rippled through the room Brian looked towards the door to find the commander standing there, he looked back towards where the reptican had been standing, it's head was blown off, only the body and splatters of blood remained.

___

Brian fell back against his mattress, the events that had just transpired, but a few hours ago seemed almost like a dream as if you would wake up tomorrow and Lisa would still be there waiting for him. She'd make a funny quip about how he was late and he'd say, Shut up, and they would laugh the whole time about a stupid joke that wasn't funny.

Brian willed the tears from earlier to come back, he wanted to cry and then let go of this feeling forever, but the tears didn't come what came in its place was pure unadulterated anger. The more he thought about Lisa the angrier he got, he turned around and stuffed his head into his pillow and let out a scream that shook his whole body, but even that didn't help him calm down but he knew what would: revenge. 

I'll rip them up piece by piece with my hands! He thought to himself.













September 26, 2020 03:58

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5 comments

L.A. Nolan
02:16 Sep 27, 2020

Cool read! The story was engaging. Be carful with your dialogue tags and punctuation, each tag (or lack there of) has specific rules. It's tricky at first. There are some great blogs that will clear up any confusion you may have.

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Matthias V.
19:07 Sep 27, 2020

Thank you so much. It's so rewarding to know that people are actually seeing my story let alone giving me such valuable tips. I'm hoping with practice I will get better thank you again

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Mustang Patty
08:35 Sep 26, 2020

Hi there, This was quite an interesting story. The repticon was well defined. I did see the prose struggling with comma usage, as well as other conventions of prose. I usually recommend the use of a good style guide. One of my favorites is 'Elements of Style 2017.' It's available from Amazon, and it's laid out in a way that makes it easy to find what you're looking for. Thank you for sharing, ~MP~ Would you mind reading a few of my stories? I'd appreciate the time.

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Matthias V.
13:17 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you for your comment. I do struggle a lot with commas among other things I hope to get better as time goes on. I appreciate the suggestions immensely.

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Mustang Patty
13:19 Sep 26, 2020

You are more than welcome. I write a Blog about writing which includes some short lessons regarding punctuation marks - among other things. Feel free to check it out - www.mustangpatty1029.com

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