Seeds of Hope

Natalia blinked at her mother through blurred vision as her luggage grew heavier with every moment.

"No, no, no my love. No tears." her mother brushed her soft hands across her cheek and held it there for a moment while wiping away tears with her thumb. "This is not a sad occasion." she moved her other hand to softly hold Natalia's face and gave a gentle squeeze. "This is so you can raise my beautiful grandbaby with your head held high, knowing that you did the best thing to give her a stable future."

"Momma-" Natalia began but was cut off by her mother's face now cradled to her swollen belly. She hummed softly and rubbed circular motions till she felt the baby jerk in excitement. She beamed upwards at Natalia and warm droplets landed on her weathered skin as broken sobs erupted. Her mother opened her mouth to say something but then began coughing until she gripped onto Natalia to keep from losing balance. Blood splatters dribbled between their feet and her mother now had a tight grip on both arms as she raggedly gasped for air.

"Momma, please!" Natalia pleaded to the best of her ability with her cracking voice. "Just put on a mask! I'm begging you!"

Her mother ignored her protests and began rifling through her pockets until a pastel yellow handkerchief was found. She wiped the blood from her mouth on her crusty sleeve before handing the handkerchief to her daughter through shaky hands.

Natalia glanced at the handkerchief resting in her hands and felt small pebbles within its folds.

"I need you to-" her mother labored through every word "-you to ensure that these children have a world to look forward to." she finished, and gave the handkerchief a small pat.

A sharp whistle broke through their conversation startling them both.

"Five minutes till departure! I repeat, five minutes till departure!" a man with a gas mask boomed while walking through the crowd of passengers giving tearful goodbyes.

Natalia looked at her mother with panicked eyes and her mother simply nodded and wrapped her into a wordless hug.

" This is not goodbye; this is see you later." she assured Natalia before shoving her towards the train's entrance.

The mass of people flooding into the small space of the train forced her inside as she frantically searched the crowd to see her mother's face one last time to no avail. She wiped at her tears and hugged her luggage closer as pregnant women crowded around her, filling the train cart with the sounds of muffled cries and sniffles. She weaved her way towards the tail end;bumping shoulder to shoulder with the other passengers until she found a mostly free metal pole and wrapped an arm around it to keep herself steady for the jerky departure. The cries of the room began morphing into murmurs of small talk and excitement for their destination. Natalia exhaled slowly and allowed herself to release the tension she had been holding in her shoulders. As if sensing the sudden air of relief, her baby shifted its position and she absent-mindedly placed her hand over the baby's new location.

After some time had passed, Natalia finally began glancing at her surroundings and fellow passengers. The air in the cabin seemed lighter and more hopeful than when they had originally left the station. Although already quaint to begin with, the many bulging stomachs of the women tightly jammed together seemed to have a fun-house mirror effect to the space around them causing it to appear two times smaller than reality. She lifted onto the tips of her worn down sneakers and craned her neck to see over some of their heads and noticed an empty seat. Her swollen ankles happily carried her to the bench where she sat with a deep sigh that almost caused her eyes to roll back in joy. She unzipped her bag and withdrew the crinkled pamphlet that had sparked this whole endeavor.

Are you or someone you know pregnant? Are you worried about the safety of your child and wonder what is in store for them in this crumbling society? Do you want to be able to breathe pure air again? Well worry no more!...

Natalia crumpled the paper and angrily shoved it into her pocket while turning to look out the window.

She would hardly call any of it "a view", but it was definitely better than continuing to listen to mindless babble or read what was surely false promises. Barren land with flicks of burnt tree nubs between mounds of plastic bottles flashed by, seemingly with a hazy gray filter shrouding it all. She wiped at the window with her sleeve but knew better that the smog was outside and not the result of dirty windows. The pollutants settled heavy on the back of her throat and it seemed to always leave a bad taste in her mouth she could never escape. She closed her eyes and flopped her head backwards in frustration. She remembered a childhood filled with bountiful green fields, vibrant flowers, fresh air, and most of all… hope. When had it become like this? Through her teenage years, littering became more common and wearing a gas mask became more mandatory than a luxury but it happened so gradually that the cause for alarm never occurred to her or her mother. Her mind flashed to the image of her mother gasping for air and Natalia had to begin rubbing at her temples to keep from getting a migraine from the anger that brewed within. In the beginning her mother had followed the masking protocols, but once her doctor informed her that her lungs were already failing, she essentially gave up and refused to do anything else preventive. Her mother had been the one who had brought home the pamphlet and insisted that it was an amazing opportunity to escape Natalia's own future bodily failure.

"How can they ensure a future for my child when they can't even clean the air or prevent pollution currently?" Natalia had thrown at her.

She pressed her forearm over her eyes and tried to ignore the growing ache of guilt in her chest at leaving her mother behind.

"Now approaching the destination. Please remain in current positions until the train has come to a complete stop." a robotic woman's voice chimed over the speakers.

Natalia looked out the window but they were parking in some sort of tunnel or covering that had completely darkened the view.

Her doubt kept her chained to her seat while the other passengers piled out the exit with glee.

As the last person to exit the train, she hesitantly descended the stairs with a shaky hand on the railing. The train was indeed parked within a tunnel and she almost had to shield her eyes from the brightness that exuded from the end of the tunnel. She cautiously walked beside the tracks towards the light and tried to push aside the irony of walking into the light in an already doubtful situation.

Outside the tunnel, she painfully squinted until her eyes could adjust to the stark contrast of light. Once she could fully open them, tears immediately pricked at the corners and her knees buckled until she was kneeling on the ground.

"How-how is this possible?" she stammered in disbelief.

Rolling hills of emerald green stretched on before her for miles, patches of wildflowers speckled each hilltop and valley, the sound of distant bubbling streams tickled her ears, and lush grass peeked out beneath her bent legs. She rolled to her side and stretched out; she twirled blades of grass between her fingers and effortlessly inhaled deeply for the first time in years. The smells of nature swirled around her and replaced the saturation of smog in her throat with sweet florals and fresh grass. If she weren't so heavily pregnant, she probably would have started skipping from the sheer joy that was overflowing within her. She sat back up and withdrew the handkerchief from her pocket; being careful with its contents, she gently shook it and let it unfold in her hands. In the center of her palm sat three unknown seeds and although nearly weightless, they felt heavier than any luggage or pregnancy weight she had been carrying. She clamped her hand shut and held it close to her heart.

"I don't know how this is possible." she mumbled, looking around in astonishment. "And I don't know if this will always be maintained for the future I want for you." she placed her other hand on her belly and smiled. "But for once in my adult life, I'm hopeful." She unfurled her hand and looked at the seeds once more. "We will do better this time. Future generations will have hope. For now, I have you-" she looked down at the baby girl growing within her "-Hope."