Crime Mystery Suspense

It was spring season. The train was moving fast, as it passed through every station, I could see people, some were working, some were with there family to travel somewhere. I was enjoying the scenery, it was early morning. The sun was rising, it was beautiful scene to watch from the train, it felt very pleasant. I was returning from my college. I was studying far away from home, as I was having vacation, I decided to visit my house.

 I was lost in this beautiful moment for a minute, then suddenly I heard the announcement that soon my station will be arriving. I packed my things and took my bag and headed towards the door. Soon I reached my station, I moved my luggage from train and started to look for the taxi.

It was very pleasant weather, I was able to feel the warmth of sun rays, “So this is the feeling of returning to your hometown”, I said to myself. I called for the taxi and made my way to the home. I didn’t notify my parents about my return, I wanted to surprise them.

But I was not knowing what was going to happen with me, how this vacation will finally reveal the truth about my family, and how I had to cut my ties with my father!!!!!!

I belonged to a wealthy household. My family consist of three people me, my father and mother. My father is the owner of a company and my mother is a housewife. My childhood was normal as any other child. We were like a normal family, we always dined together, we had our family outings, family functions like other families, we were rich but we never behaved like that. I was happy with my life, my family and my friends.

As I wanted to surprise my family, I didn’t enter through main gate and made my way inside through the back gate. I slowly keeping the sound of my footsteps as low as possible headed towards my parent’s room. As I reached near, I heard something, it was the sound of a lady crying, I was surprised, is my mother crying? But why? did something happen when I was not here? Various questions were rising in my mind.

The door of the room was slightly open, I was able to see my mother. She was sitting on the ground and was crying while looking at some photo, I was unable to see the photo, so I didn’t know for whom she was sobbing her tears. Finally she said something, “Why I have to pretend like this, why are you not alive? How long I am supposed to bear this? I re….ally really wished for a real family!”.

“ Re….al?”, what is she saying, what is the meaning of all this?, I was so confused at that moment, I eagerly wanted to open the door and ask my mother about the situation, but no I can’t do this, I know my mother she will never tell me things that will make me worry, so I decided not to ask her. My mother after wiping her tears kept the photo in her bedside drawer. As she was about to turn, I quickly left the place and headed towards the main gate. I decided not to worry her by asking questions. I decided to pretend to enter the house by main gate, so I rang the doorbell.

She came and opened the door, she was surprised and happy to see me, I can sense her happiness, just before she was crying and now look at this women, she is so happy, she really loves me ha…..I thought. She hugged me and asked. “Why are you here? Why don’t you tell me you are coming? I would have prepared your favorite food!”, Just like a typical mother she started complaining. “Oh my sweet mother, enough with your questions, I had a long way, please provide me with some food”, I avoided her questions. “Ok ….ok, go to your room, freshen up, I will send food to your room”, she replied.

I wanted to ask her, what I am supposed to do now? So many questions, “Ughhhh….. I am so tired”. After giving a thought, I decided to find the answers myself without asking my mother. So first I decided to look for the photo that my mother had. I went to my mother’s room and opened the bedside drawer and looked for the photo, I also found a dairy. I took both the things and hurriedly left the room. I locked my room, and looked at the photo, it was of my mother and a man was standing beside her, it was like a couple photo. Who is this man? I have never seen this man. Then I looked at the diary, It was my mother’s personal diary. I looked inside the diary with a sense of guilt as it was inappropriate to look at someone’s personal diary without their permission.

I started to read the diary, as I read further, a shocking truth was revealed. The man in the photo was actually my real father and the owner of our company. My real dad was murdered by my current father when I was in my mother’s womb and he threatened my mother to kill her unborn baby if she tries to reveal the truth, he kept me and my mother because my father had given the ownership of the company to his unborn child. He pretended to be my real father so he could take the company from me in the future, when I will be at the age of twenty legally.

I was completely shattered, the father I loved the most was just pretending to be my father, this family of mine which was perfect was completely fake. Tears started to burst from my eyes, I was unable to accept the truth. My mother was suffering this from nineteen years and I was enjoying my life. I left her alone to suffer, how I am able to face my mother now. I should do something now, I have to fight against this, I have to free me and my mother from this cage.

 My mother suddenly knocked at my door. I opened the door, she saw me in this state and asked me “What happened erza, why are you crying?”. I told her whole story. She hugged me and said “Erza, please don’t do anything now, it’s not the time now to fight against this, there is always a right time”. She told me to pretend to know nothing in front my current father. My father came from the work, he pretended to be happy to see me, I also pretended to be happy and continued the family drama. My mother told me to leave the house  and continue my studies. I was worried about to leave her alone with that man, but she assured me that nothing will happen to her. I promised her “One day, I will definitely free us from this hell and we will live like a real family”.

Three years have passed since, I never once visited my house. I was completely focused on my studies and planned everything that has to be done. I was in contact with my mother through phone. I finally graduated and decided to visit my home and informed my parents about my return. I was knowing that my father will be waiting for me to sign the papers.

I reached my home, my father specially welcomed me, he was looking very happy, but little was he knowing that I have a planned a huge surprise for him! I freshened up and had dinner. I was waiting for him to show his true colors. He finally asked me to sign some documents, he told me that they were related to some investments. I immediately dialed a number. “Whom are you calling Erza?”, he asked me. “Just a little surprise for you father”, I replied. Suddenly we heard the doorbell, as he opened the police officers arrested him.

He was so confused, it was fun to watch. I told him whole story and my plans. He was shocked and tried to convince me, but it was of no use. When the police officers were taking him away, I said to my mother “It’s finally the time to cut ties with him!”………………… 

Posted Jan 31, 2021
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

9 likes 2 comments

Courtney C
04:12 Feb 11, 2021

Great work on creating an interesting and atypical family dynamic in your story. I thought the twist was compelling, and that the scene where your character's mother broke down crying felt genuine and piqued the reader's interest.

Just as a note, it seemed to me like you may have given away the ending too early. Foreshadowing is one thing (and could have been a great plot device to use), but to outright say Erza would cut ties with his father before he even knew what was going on seemed premature. Leaving that until later could help maintain a degree of tension and suspense.

Other than that, and a few spelling and convention mistakes (you should be spelling out 'okay', not leaving it at 'ok', some dialogue punctuation mishaps, not capitalizing Erza's name at one point, etc.) this felt like a strong first draft. Good work!

Reply

Komal Patil
18:08 Feb 11, 2021

Thankyou very much for your advice , I am happy that you read my work.

Reply

RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. All for free.