Still existing

I've never liked staying in the house. It makes me feel crowded....but now I feel like that wherever I go. It has been a year since the pandemic but I still feel unsafe and dirty. I still have to go to work though. During the pandemic, they shut everything down despite their efforts to try and keep people safe they were still going out not wearing a mask, "Did they not care that they could die as well? guess not '' Today I'm going to go to the park this is going to be my first day out since quarantine and mask requirements were lifted. The sun was shining on my face and the birds were singing. It was a beautiful day.  “Hey wait a minute, why is she looking at me? Is something on my face, did I do something wrong?” The lady approached me and said: “ young man why are you still wearing that?” Huh oh, she must be referring to the doctor mask covering 80% of my face. She started staring at me intensely “you know it's safe you don't have to put up with those ratchet things anymore. She was probably right but I know that it still exists and it's not gone,   “I just feel safe with this on” I gave her a nod and walked away. As I made my way downtown I heard the terrifying sound of coughing. He was walking on the opposite side of the street he was coughing and hacking and he wasn't even covering his mouth …Disgusting. I really can't see how anyone can go back to how things where millions had died and those who did survive lost the ones they loved all because Betty didn't want to wear a mask around George, I will never understand it just because it's gone doesn't mean it doesn't exist. “Hey Robert,” I turned around to see my boss. He was mask-less of course but he looked happy “Hello Mr.Smith.” I gave a weak wave but Mr.smith was always a kind person who liked to show his affection...What I'm saying is He tried to come in for a hug. I was hesitant and took a step back. “S-sorry I just…” smith also took a step back “No, No It's fine I get some people still aren't the same after the pandemic.”  I couldn't speak I was choked up I wanted to say something like: “Haha just kidding gimme a hug” but instead I ran away from him like a little kid I felt stupid, embarrassed, and weak I couldn't even give someone a fucking hug how pathetic I just can't shake the feeling that the pandemic isn't over there are so many possibilities like Another wave could hit us, The virus has evolved again, There's a new sickness that's spreading like a wildfire, they ran out of vaccines and the stuff needed to make the vaccines. Thoughts like that make me worry makes it hard for me to move on and continue life, when I got back to the apartment I saw my next-door neighbor lucy she looked like she was heading out for an evening dinner I built up the courage and walked over “H-hey lucy how are you?” The mask must have muffled my voice because after she looked up after locking her door she gave me a confused look “Oh hi Robert, were you just going to stand there and not say hello?” She looked even more confused when she saw how much distance was between us. I was standing exactly 6 feet away from Lucy. “Well that's rude, you think I have the virus don't you?” She said that in an offensive tone while folding her arms. Maybe this was a little excessive so I walked a little closer, Lucy then put her hand up saying “Stop!” I stopped with one foot up in the air she said: “Robert you don't have to come closer if you don't have to I was just kidding” She was smiling at me She's always been so kind and caring to me I will never forget she was the one who brought food to me during the pandemic while I hid like a coward behind locked doors and yet she still brings me food every day because I'm still scared to leave my safe haven. “Well, it was nice seeing you today you usually don't come out much.” “Yeah i-i wanted to go for a walk and stretch my legs.'' she started applauding “That's wonderful glad that you're finally acting normal”. “Huh?” did she just say acting “normal”  “I don't mean to be offensive, it's just that no one is wearing their mask anymore so why are you??” Lucy then said goodbye and headed downstairs but she left me with something. As I sat down on my bed I started to ache. Was I hurt? Not physically, why was my heart hurting? Because her words struck me deep enough to penetrate my heart, maybe Lucy's right, maybe I should start acting normal. The next day I woke up with a new motive to being normal. I wanted to try to be my old self again like before the pandemic even happened. The next day I lied to myself and got up feeling even more traumatized by Lucy's words. I didn't leave the apartment that day. I stayed in bed and slept. The only time I got up was to use the bathroom and warm up some ramen. I don't know why but I felt tired that day after eating lunch. I Laid down to take a nap then I heard a voice; “: Hey Robert, where have you been.” Where ever I was it was wet and cold “who are you??” No one responded and I was willing to walk out further into the darkness “ROBERT!!!!!” I heard a distorted voice yell my name “ROBERT, ROBERT, ROBERT, ROBERTTTTTTT!” They continued to yell out to me but the yelling had now turned into screaming  “Ughh damn my ears are bleeding” i fell to the ground covering my leaking ears. “Why won't you.?” the screaming had stopped “huh?” The voice seemed to be getting closer “Why won’t you?” a body had emerged from the darkness to my surprise it was lucy or just a figure of her “Why won't you?” she repeated “ why won't i what?” she seemed to get even more upset “why won't you?” i had gotten annoyed “ Why haven't i WHAT?” I yelled at her. She then appeared directly in front of me as if she teleported “Why WON'T YOU TAKE the MASK OF~?” I had woken up in a sweat “it was just a dream.” The next event that took place left me speechless *DIng* “I guess i have a new message” as I picked up the phone it was a message from lucy.

Lucy: “hey rob I'm having a little celebration tonight i was wondering if you would like to come to help you get back to your old life LoL, it's only going to be 10 people if that helps” 

Lucy: “And no mask Kay 😷”

It took me a while to warm up to the idea of being around so many people, but i felt like this i owe to lucy for helping me all those times so i finally built up the courage to go to her party it was around 6 pm when i had arrived, i could tell i was still not up to the idea because as soon as i stepped out the car my legs turned to Jell-O Well there's no turning back now i sighed as i took another weak step forward Things were already weird but it got even worse i walked into the building to see way more than 10 people Did lucy lie to me? she said it would be a small group Then all their eyes Met mine. Why was everyone staring into my soul? I found my way to the punch table when i was met with a female voice whispering “Why won't you take the mask off?” i was paralyzed surely i was just still nervous i turned to see lucy hovering behind me “W-well i just…” Lucy then Busted out into laughter “ I'm just kidding you're such a snowflake.” Trying not to feel insulted I gave a weak laugh and forced smile. wait she can't even see me smiling “ugh such a dumbass” lucy stopped smiling she looked worried “are you feeling alright you don't have to stay if you don't wanna it's cool enough that you made it.”  Great now she thinks I'm weak “Ha no I'm fine i just have to use the bathroom”   As I left Lucy at the punch table I went to the bathroom and I began to feel nauseous my stomach was in knots and my heart was beating harder than ever before. What's wrong I feel so sick “maybe Lucy was right maybe I should leave” I felt like everything is closing around me, as if the walls are closing in, and they were at the door knocking and banging telling me to take my mask off. Then that's when i saw lucy standing above me "Lucy i think I'm going to have to leave." God, i hate that I'm like this. Lucy then bend down her face was bright red she looked drunk "H-Hey lucy are you al-" My sentence was cut short when lucy had pulled down my mask What the hell is she doing i-i don't know what to do i could feel my heart was pounding out of my chest. Lucy looked up at me "I missed seeing this face" A soon as i opened my mouth to speak lucy leaned in with a kiss. So this is what I've been missing out on wearing this stupid mask. Lucy then sat back giving me a drunk smile saying "There do you feel better" As i was about to respond until i was interrupted by lucy throwing up all over me. Oh, no-no-no what if she had covid could I get it by her throw-up? or just from kissing her? The next thing i knew my eyes were twitching and i had blacked out. When i woke up i was in a hospital bed i remember the nurse telling me that they had found me on the bathroom floor passed out, i wonder if lucy is okay. then that's when i heard it the tv was on the news and the headline read "It still exist covid isn't gone" i couldn't believe my eyes 

News: I have received a report that a girl at a resident hospital has been discovered to have a new type of COvid and is said to be patient zero

I started to panic i couldn't breathe it was still out there hiding, living, thriving i was right to not move on with life.

News; "This goes to show us, ladies and gentlemen, that covid is still existing be safe and start wearing your mask."