I Do?

CW: cursing, infidelity

January 3rd, 2017

“So, what’s the catch,” Piper asked. She reached for some Goldfish crackers in the top of her pantry, vaguely feeling her phone as it started to slip from her shoulder-cheek grip. 

“No catch,” Alex said. Her voice was brimming over with happiness and Piper knew she was staring at that giant diamond ring on her finger as she added, “He’s perfect.”

“No man is perfect,” asserted Piper. “No human is,” she corrected her statement while pouring out Genevie’s snack.

“Genevieve is,” Alex breathed dragon flames in her words, despite being ten miles away.

“Fuck you,” returned Piper, not caring that her precious toddler is a few feet away. The toxic thought that she shouldn’t raise her children onto a pedestal just because it took eight years and a hundred doctor bills to conceive them drifted into her mind, though.

She disconnected the call just as she hears her youngest’s little voice parrot, “Fuck!”

August 19th, 2018

Piper’s cool fingers ran over Genevieve’s pink shoulders at the bridal shop-perfectly sunkissed. She crossed and uncrossed her long legs as she anxiously waited with the rest of the bridal party for her sister to exit the changing room. Alex stepped out in a mermaid style dress with old fashioned buttons all down her back. Piper felt a tinge of envy as the way her sister slipped into the gown. Her elastic smile didn’t catch the attention of the bridal party as they cooed over the bride.

“That’s the one,” proclaimed Ashley from Austin. Ashley was Alex’s very bestest friend in the world and she simply insisted that Piper Facetimed her during the bridal appointment. Alex swirled the tule around her, little bare toes painted pastel pink peeked out with each flourish. “Really?” she asked and frowned in the mirror. 

“Alex,” interrupted Piper as she grabbed at her toddler who was drawn to the shiny lace of the dress, “If it’s not the one, it’s not the one. Put it back.” Piper lifted Genevieve into her lap, handed her phone holding Ashley to her mother, Fiona, and proceeded to take out a picture book depicting barn animals and their various noises. Alex began to retreat to the changing room, even as Ashley protested. 

She returned in jeans and a T-shirt. Her long, black hair was disheveled and she clutched her wallet tightly. “Well, that was the last one,” she said softly. The bridal party trailed her as she brushed off sales floor attendants who were trying to convince her to give it just one last look. Somewhere, in the background of the hustle, a soft beeping indicated the ending of Ashley’s video chat. “I’m going home,” she said as she swung open the glass door. A gust of hot air blew into the distraught faces of everyone. They all trailed after the bride, worried. 

The army marched across the street to the parking structure-their heels loudly clicked along black pavement steaming from summer heat. Piper rounded up the rear, clutching her daughter, whose face was buried in her mother’s bosom. Alex offered hugs to her friends and popped into her big, black car. She peeled out of the parking lot in seconds. 

“Jeez,” sighed Fiona as she pushed strands of silver from her forehead. “This is like the fifth bridal shop,” she complained. The women nodded in fretful agreement. 

“Ashley will talk her down,” quipped Piper as she shifted her weight from one flamingo leg to the next. Genevieve had reached her limit for the day and bellowed her disapproval of the day. Her grandmother swooped her up in a big hug which Genevieve protested by smacking her in the nose. Piper took her from her mother and belted her into the car as she waved an apology at the girls. The AC took a moment to start up, but when it did, it came with instant relief. It was a 45 minute drive from downtown to their home and Piper played a kid’s mix on her phone. When she glanced back, she saw the image of her sleeping daughter. 

May 26th, 2019

“Do you like it?” asked Alex. She twirled in the dress for her bridal party who all maintained a happy, but shocked face.

“Do you?” asked Piper in a high pitched anxious voice. The sun streamed through her mother’s living room window, bathing her sister in an angelic glow. 

“I am obsessed,” Alex answered and flopped onto Fiona’s couch. The dress was a halter swing style. It was, at least, white. But the most eye-catching feature was the huge sunflowers decorating the gown. Alex picked up and fingered the satin material. Her heart was full, but the look on her mother’s face made her anxious “Ash is a fashion student, you know. She made it just for me!” she explained. 

 “It’s certainly unique,” remarked Fiona. Alex beamed.

May 30th, 2019

Ashley’s flight arrived at 11am. It had been a long day already. She awoke at 6am, showered and changed into leggings with an oversized sweatshirt. Her brunette curls were tossed into a quick bun. She slipped on sneakers, rolled her suitcase into the kitchen, and grabbed a coffee before her cab arrived. Security took their time, but before she knew it, she was nestled into seat 15B on flight 1166 to Denver. Ashley texted Alex, put on her sleeping mask, and started up a movie. When she landed, she collected her things and found Alex holding a huge sign bearing her name and some embarrassing childhood photos. 

“Oh my God!” she screeched and clutched her best friend tight. Alex always smelled like Lemongrass and lavender. Ashley breathed it in. “Look at those two!” she said while jabbing a finger at two little girls sitting out on Alex’s front lawn, lips painted red from rocket pops, smiling for the camera. They wore matching dresses embossed with the US flag. 

The drive to Alex’s apartment was long and full of giggling and catching up. “You’re getting married!” squealed Ashley. Alex beamed at her. “I knew it, you know,” she gushed, “I knew Blake was the one from the moment you met him. ‘Member that?” 

Of course Alex remembered the lanky young man rushing into bio class fifteen minutes late on the first day of their sophomore year of highschool. Of course she remembered the deep blush in his cheeks, his black backpack with wheels. Of course she remembered the way the sun caught his deep green eyes. She pretended to forget that one time Blake was forced to kiss Ashley in a game of Kiss the Bottle. The Colorado air felt familiar. It was light compared to Texas, but still very warm. Alex grabbed Ashley’s luggage, “Are you sure you can’t stay longer than the wedding?” 

Ashley glanced up and nodded silently. She was led to a small back room where a guest bed had been neatly made up. On Alex’s white walls hung endless photos of all of the happy couple-highschool, college, and the engagement shoot. They elicited a slow smile. Her cheeks flushed at the image of the young couple’s lips entwined in front of a big, oak tree. Ashley stared at her sneakers, noting that one white lace was threatening to break free from its aglet. 

The bridesmaid dress hung, shimmering and disgustingly silver, on the white closet door. It was long and sleeveless. A pair of blue kitten heels were tucked neatly at the base of the dress. Ashley's long red nails trailed down the sleek material. “It’s lovely,” she complimented. Alex hugged her one last time before leaving her to her thoughts. Ashley collapsed on the bed and felt her heartbeat begin to slow down. Her cheeks began to cool and she buried her face in a pillow. Tears were muffled by a cotton pillowcase before she fell asleep. 

A knock on the door and the soft voice of Alex woke Ashley, “Dinner.” Ashley splashed water on her face and smoothed out her bed head. She walked out the dark hallway to the dining room. There sat Blake in a navy blue suit, white button down. It was the kind of shirt Ashley wanted to rip off. He swirled his white wine in a tall glass with a long stem. Ashley felt her heart catch in her chest. She put on her best smile and approached the table. Blake stood. He towered over her and offered a hug. She embraced him cautiously. Blake always smelled like a sweet cinnamon cologne, but this time Ashley noticed something new: Lemongrass. 

“Do you want a glass?” offered Alex. She set down the meal in front of the two sitting at the table. Ashley nodded and gratefully listened to the sound of wine being poured. She helped herself to a long sip, let the burn fill her mouth and then stomach. “They’re Bao Buns!” exclaimed Alex happily. In front of Ashley sat 12 bulging buns. She recognized them from social media and listened half heartedly as Alex explained each of the flavors. Her first glass of wine was downed quickly. Blake didn’t say much as Alex and Ashley clucked on about the wedding.

A few hours later, Ashley snuck out of her room after tossing and turning for twenty minutes. She tiptoed out to the kitchen and headed for the backdoor which led to a tiny balcony. She could see his dark curls that broke free from his hair gel, his broad shoulders. A single, bright dot, lit up the evening. Ashley’s heart raced as she clenched and unclenched her fists. She leaned  against the counter for a moment, flicked on the light switch, and the kitchen was bathed in bright light. Blake didn’t turn around. Ashley opened three wooden cupboards before finding a blue glass. She ran the tap, allowing the water to turn cold and crisp, before filling it and taking a long slip. Her glass was filled once more when the door was opened with a creak. Ashley turned to see Blake. His curls were now running wild; his eyes carried sadness. 

“You ok?” he asked. She nodded and sipped her water. Her hips pressed against the cold, plastic counter top. 

“You?” she asked and set her glass down. He nodded and stepped closer to her. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, grabbing a glass. Her feet felt suddenly cold as they side stepped so he could fill his glass. Blake’s lips curved into a pained smile before fading just as quickly. The kitchen felt cold from the night air, but Ashley felt Blake’s warmth radiating off him. She noted the gooseflesh poking up along his arms. She ran her hands over her bare arms as her nipples hardened against her cotton night shirt. Ashley cleared her throat, placed the glass in the sink, and turned to walk away. “You wouldn’t want something stronger, would you?” Blake’s question surprised her. 

She spun on her toes and faced him, watching as his long fingers ran through his hair. A devilish grin tickled her lips as she nodded. He poured more wine and opened the glass door to the night once more. As she stepped out, her breath caught in her throat. Her cheeks were flushed with liquor. She leaned against the wooden railing of the porch and gazed into the spring moon, full of bright beams and hope. Her lips curved around her wine glass for another strong sip. She could feel Blake’s eyes, watching her. And she let him.

“Ash,” his voice croaked and cracked like they were teens once again, “Why’d you leave?”

Ashley turned slowly and locked eyes with him. Her glass was set on the railing and his glass fell to the ground, shattering in pieces. She tasted the cigarette on his lips. He sampled the wine on hers. Crickets sang a love song into the deep, velvet night. 

May 31st, 2019

Genevieve did not want to wear the dress. She threw her little body onto the floor and began the tantrum of the decade. “Genny, don’t you want to look pretty for aunty?” pleaded Piper. She rubbed her forehead furiously and finally, picked her daughter up. She was buckled into her seat kicking and screaming. Piper’s husband opened the door of the car, shot one look at his daughter, and started the ignition in peace. She admired his profile when he drove, the strong set of his jaw, the beginnings of crow’s feet. His deep, brown eyes were focused on the road, but she knew the magic that she felt when they were focused on her. Piper listened to the soft chatter of her son, Colton, as he played with his baby sister. He showed her all the pictures of different bugs that he had seen in real life from his book. His eyes, like his father’s, lit up when discussing nature. At a stoplight, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. 

Piper ventured off with a hot and heavy Genevieve to the girls’ room while Colton and Parker went looking for more bugs. Her mother’s old office was bustling like a loud bee hive. Piper joined the chaos and began to dress her daughter. Genevieve was in a better mood, but not in the best while getting her hair and makeup done. Alex was sitting next to her and awfully quiet. 

“Are you ok?” Piper whispered. Alex nodded, but Piper noted that Alex had her bottom lip in a death grip between her teeth. After a quick lunch, the photographer hustled the girls out to the backyard which was sunny and dewey from the morning sprinklers. 

Fiona had raised her girls on a large property. She and her husband planted sunflowers along a white picket fence and a cluster of trees along the west side when she found out she was pregnant with Piper. Alex came kicking and screaming into the picture two years later. Fiona smiled fondly at the yard as she reminisced over all the barbecues, backyard camping adventures, and movie nights they hosted. This yard was filled with squirt guns, water balloons, popcorn, and chocolate bars. It was their home, their pride and joy, right next door to Ashley and her family.

Genevieve began doing the potty dance after pictures. Piper swept her daughter up and began to head towards the basement. Her daughter began to whine for her father and Piper said a prayer that he was down there with the boys getting dressed. The sound of soft voices coming from the laundry room startled Genevieve. She set her daughter down at the top of the stairs and told her to find Parker. She peered through the crack of the laundry room-call it a gut feeling- to find the groom stood embraced in the arms of a woman in a silver dress on the landing between the two staircases leading to the basement. Her soft hair was curled and styled into an updo fitting of the maid of honor. As their kiss deepened, her foot popped up, revealing a blue kitten heel. Piper fumbled to find her phone and took two photos

Piper ran to find her sister. She led her to the kitchen. They pushed past the caterers and found a quiet spot in the dining room. Piper’s encounter came rushing, gushing out like a geyser. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes as she stared at her sister. Alex’s face was startlingly blank as she whispered, “I know.” Piper collapsed into one of the waiting chairs and watched as Alex paced the room like a caged animal. “I found them on the balcony last night,” she said. 

Piper’s hands flew to her mouth and she began to explain a plan to get Alex out of all of this, “The question is how. How will we sneak you out? I’ll get Parker. He can help…”

“No,” corrected Alex in an even voice. She locked eyes with her sister. “The question is whether or not I forgive him. And I do,” Alex said while snagging a flute of champagne which was downed in fifteen minutes. “Ashley will leave. She has to go back to Texas. It’s a one moment thing,” Alex said, shrugging her bare shoulders before making her exit.

Sixty minutes later, Genevieve walked down the aisle scattering pink petals as she went. The bridesmaid took the hot, meaty arms of the groomsmen. They glided down the aisle like paired swans. Colton raced down the aisle and into his father’s arm. His bashful face was captured expertly by the photographer. Everyone stood as Alex, in her sunflower gown, walked down the aisle as Piper pleaded silently with her. Vows were exchanged. A kiss. Some part of Ashley’s heart shattered. 

Dinner was chicken or fish. Piper stared at the index cards in front of her. She guzzled a glass of water and stood when the DJ told the crowd it was time for speeches. 

“Hello everyone,” she began. The microphone gave her a squeal of feedback. She smiled, “Sorry about that. Um, most of you know me. I am Piper, the older sister of Alex. And she was kind enough to give me a speech on my wedding day.” Piper paused and gazed at her husband. “My little sister is strong,” Piper tossed the notecards over her shoulder. The crowd laughed. “She is honest and kind and resilient,” Piper glanced at the bride who was staring down at her platter of chicken. “She has never needed a man and,” Piper paused and looked at the groom, “God knows she never will. So, Blake,” he looked up at her, Piper wondered if she saw a hint of guilt in his dilated eyes. “The fact that she chose you,” the microphone squealed again and a throat was cleared in the crowd, “Means something. Never forget that.” Piper clutched the microphone. Her fingers were slick with sweat. Her heartbeat thudded.

She smiled painfully and raised her glass. “Welcome to the family.”