Gwen

GWEN  WHITE SCREEN 

 Heavy Snow falls. Crystal feathers drifting.  

A soft light pushes from the apartment window  

with Burning Joan's urgent cry following close behind.   

'Doors are all locked, shades are pulled down. Cold outside. Nobody's home.'  

Moving through the windless, wet snow, pulled  

to the light.  

'Grass is not green there's no rain in the air.

Peer through the window. Nothing's in there.'

A sparsely furnished room. A futon with lots of  

blankets and over sized pillows. A cat with long orange  

fur curled up in the covers. A littered coffee  

table, a cheap couch, and a couple chairs. The place  

hasn't been cleaned for quite some time.                         

Gwen sits cross-legged on the floor by the messy mattress. 

 'And he wants what he wants, and she wants it too... 

And nobody's certain who has been used...

The battle with life will be over soon...                 

We are the ones who will lose.'                                                           

 She reaches over and shuts off the boom box. Now  

she can hear the snowflakes thudding against  

the window.  

There's a semi-circle of empty liquor bottles and  

full ashtrays surrounding her. She's arrived at  

Critical Mass.                                                                                     

Taking a swig of Everclear, lighting a cigarette,  

she picks up the receiver and punches in a  

number.  

She drags on her cigarette as it rings once,  

twice. She drops the phone and cries.     

She wipes away tears and snot, lights another  

cigarette, another gulp of death, takes a deep  

shuddering breath and redials the phone.                                                                                                         

"Hello, Mom? It's me! I need…"                                                                                                                         

"For Christ's Sake, Gwen! It's almost four o'clock! What on earth are you doing…"                         

"Can I talk to Daddy?"                                                                                                                                                    

"Of course not! He's sound asleep!"                                                   

"But Mom, I need help! I'm in trouble, Mom!  

I need to come home!"                                                                  

"You need to stop drinking is what you need to do!"                                                                                  

"Please, Mommy! Bring me home! I'm  

scared!"                                                                                              

"Now? If you haven't noticed, there's a blizzard out there!"                                         

"But Mom, I need help NOW! I'm so  alone!"                                                                                     

 Silence

Gwen lights a smoke. Drops it, can't find it. 

"Gwen! Gwen! Are you still there? Gwen?"                                                                                               

"I'm here. Please Come Get Me! I Can't Be  

Alone Any Longer!  

I'm DYING…"                             

"Stop being so dramatic! You're not Dying! It's four o'clock in the morning. The sun will be coming up in a couple hours. Lay down with Fluffy and get some sleep."                                                                                           

"I know, Mom! I have a great idea! Come get me, and we can make waffles for Daddy the way we used…to…with Jimmy…"                                                                                                               

 Very Long Silence 

"I can hear the waves, Mom. Are you  

at the... beach with Jimmy?" 

Jimmy is Gwen's little brother.                                       

Jimmy is dead.                                                                                                             

Gwen and Jimmy are on a Mexico beach with their  

tie-dyed parents who are nearby...somewhere.  

Meanwhile, little Gwen and littler Jimmy are  

frolicking in the gentle surf.                                                                                    

All is Good...until the kids drift out just a bit too  

far. Far enough for Jimmy to encounter a riptide  

that eagerly pulls him out and away from his sister.                         

Gwen and Jimmy, experiencing pure panic for the  

first time, have predictable reactions.                                                     

Jimmy frantically grabs at Gwen, pulling her  

down. Gwen frantically fights back, escaping his  

grasp.                                        

And there is nothing left to do but watch his  

stricken face disappear into the foamy darkness.                                          

'Why did you let me gooooo?'  

His face cries out.         

Jimmy is gone.                                                               

Now she is alone.                                                                                                                                                       

'I couldn't hold on

He was pulling me down

I had to let go

I let go of jimmy

I killed jimmy

I killed him I killed him I killed him I killed I killed

my fault jimmy dead I let go my fault my fault

I 

killed 

my 

little 

brother' 

But don't worry about Gwen.  

She'll [certainly] [probably] [possibly] hopefully be  

just fine.                                                                                 

"Do you remember what the counselor told us? It's time for tough love, Gwen!" 

Gwen is sobbing, thinking about Jimmy, not  

wanting to.  

But mom isn't buying it. 

"You're 25 years old, for crying out loud! We can't keep saving you every time you do something stup…"                                    

'I almost forgot my homework...  

No more Gwen shaming.'  

"But Mom, I…please, Mom, help me!"                                       

"It's time for you to handle your problems without our help! We can't coddle you anymore, Gwen!"       

"Mommy?"                                                                                                              

"I'm hanging up now! I'll tell your father you called when he gets up. You get some sleep! I'll call you in the morning!"                                                                            

"Mom! Don't hang up! Please, Mommy! I…"  

'CLICK' 

She tried to forget.  

Nothing worked. 

Liquor. Pharmaceuticals.  

Worshipful men.  

Nothing helped. 

Real love might have saved her, but  

she lost it on that beach down in Mexico  

and never found it again. 

The wind picks up, creating snow devils outside  

the window. Gwen drops the phone, crying into  

her hands.  

She takes her last drink, knocking over the last  

bottle, snuffing out her last cigarette. In a 

trance, she fumbles with the boom box until  

finally finding the PLAY button.  

'Shattered glass pressed in our hands.'

She stumbles to the front door, letting snow  

spirits swirl into the room.                                                                                                                                                   

"Clenching fist blood to the sand" 

Framed in the windblown doorway, she 

steps naked into the night.                                                                             

"Skin turns to foam on the top of the sea." 

She disappears through the open door into the  

white darkness, not concerned with the cold.                                                                                    

"In four directions away from me..." 

A large owl, mantled in snow, looks down at a  

small icy creek.  

Gwen appears from the pale murk.  

Walking to the stream bank, she casually steps   

in, crunching the surface ice with her bare feet.                                               

Like stepping into a freshly drawn bath, she lays  

down and dies in the bitter water.    

The owl watches the color drain from her eyes.  

Her skin turns as blue as the  

darkest ocean.  

Hearing a mouse fifty yards southeast, the owl  

lifts off and is gone, leaving Gwen with her 

 little brother, playing in the foamy surf. 

Mom and Dad sit close by on colorful beach towels 

watching Gwen and Jimmy's every move with a 

strange mixture of primal bliss and parental fear.   

And All is Good. 

FADE TO BLUE 

Burning Joan lyrics by Kim Treiber