Jess

“Are you there God? It’s me…” I laughed as I slid my best friend’s sled onto the icy lake, then shoved him towards it. I both loved and despised Jess.

He was better looking, more popular with girls, and probably smarter than me too.

Being a preteen was hard for everyone in at least some aspects. But, he took everything away from me in an instant.

Peering over my locker, I felt like a peeping tom, etching the sight of my best friend kissing the one I loved most into permanent memory.

No one was more beautiful than Kelly. Although I had never spoken to her, I knew that I loved her.

Instead of confronting Jess about it, I pretended like I hadn’t seen anything. As my resentment festered, I felt myself silently losing control.

I constantly questioned whether I had a soul as I planned Jess’ demise.

I didn’t really want Jess gone, I told myself. I really just wanted Kelly to myself.

February 13, 2022

It’s hard to accept that I can’t have both Jess and Kelly in my life. Part of me cannot believe that it is going to end this way.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It’s been two years since the event that changed my life. I will never be able to forgive Jess for what he did. He KNEW I loved Kelly, and kissed her anyway–just to spite me.

They’re calling for snow tomorrow. Can’t wait.

~Evan

Jess smiled as he opened his locker. It was Valentine’s Day, a day typically full of love for him. Several love notes fell onto the fake tile floor that was almost as cool as most people, including Jess, thought he was.

He’d had a great childhood and was ready to begin his adolescence. He was athletic, handsome, and had a big heart.

He could befriend seemingly anyone, which made what happened after school all the more surprising.

Kelly would become the Valedictorian of their Country Day High School. She was quiet and shy, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, but she was fiery, and had a passion for helping others. There was nothing to dislike about Kelly.

Jess and Kelly were in love and nothing could separate them.

Valentine’s Day 2022

Will you be my Valentine? :-)

Meet me at the hill by the lake after school. Bring your snow boots.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

It was unlike Kelly to be so secretive, thought Jess.

When he showed her the note at lunch, she laughed and said it wasn’t from her–it must be from a different secret admirer of his.

They decided to go to the lake after school to see who was behind it, together.

Kelly and Jess were in deep conversation about which soccer team each thought would win the English Premier League, when they looked up and saw Evan’s dark silhouette standing at the top of the hill with a sled.

“Evan? You’re my secret admirer?” laughed Jess.

Evan laughed back. “Yes good sir, I am!”

“Good sir?” Jess laughed again. “You ok, brotha man?

“Of course.” Evan looked simultaneously sad and manic.

Jess and Kelly looked at each other with raised eyebrows and quizzical faces.

“C’mon let’s go sledding guys!” Evan yelled as he jumped on what was presumably the top of a school trash bin.

“OK…” thought Jess. “If my best friend says so!” he yelled back.

Kelly watched them for a while until she got a call from her mom to come to the pick up lane to go home. She texted Jess to let him know before leaving.

It was at that point that Evan would find out if he had a soul.

Kelly opened her Facebook account when she got home to a feed full of comments about her boyfriend, who she hoped would be her future husband.

“What happened?!!” 

“What is Evan doing!”

“OMG! Is he alive!?

Kelly immediately called Jess’ phone, which went straight to voicemail. She told her mom, who called 911.

When she looked back on that day and all the days of high school that followed, as she wrote her Valedictorian speech, the strongest emotion she felt was gratitude.

“...When my boyfriend Jess lost his leg in the winter of 2022, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that he would no longer be able to participate in the same capacity in things like his favorite sport, soccer. Things just wouldn’t be the same. But I wasn’t worried about him. He displayed courage in the face of his adversity. Nothing would stop him from achieving what he wanted, and his goals in high school were something to be proud of. We can all learn from Jess, from what he did after losing a limb–he didn’t feel self-pity, he adapted to his circumstances and remained focused on what he could control instead of what he couldn’t.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

Born deaf and blind, it could have been easy for Hellen Keller to feel sorry for herself and maybe give up on herself. Instead, she made the most of her situation, and then some…”

After her graduation speech, after shedding tear after tear, Jess and Kelly walked past the infamous lake to Jess’ car and drove to the prison to see Evan.

With summer approaching, they were already feeling anticipatory longing for each other. Being on separate coasts would not be easy for them, but they weren’t worried.

Evan had never been a spiritual or religious person. He lived life in extremes, and when he thought of religion, he thought of it in the same way. It wasn’t until he was imprisoned that he began to question his previous assumptions and begin to explore faith.

As Evan fell asleep in his prison cell that night, he wondered what tomorrow would look like. He whispered with a smile, “Thank you God. Thanks an awful lot.”