Watch the Fireflies

You're lost. You're lost.

Lost among the lights that shield you from the void overhead. Lost from your companions. Lost from the cheerful babble that accompanies such a cluster of people. Lost, lost, lost. Maybe you lost them, maybe they lost you. There's a lot of losing going on. Shhh, calm down. Calm down. It's okay, there's nothing in the shadows. There's nothing to jump out at you. You've not been kidnapped by some kind of nightmarish clown. Everything is fine.

Now, think. Where are you? What were you doing beforehand? You were with your friends, at the carnaval. It was getting late, wasn't it? There, there you go. That's good. You remembered where you were beforehand. Now, how did you end up here? Chasing something? Someone? Yes, that's it. You were chasing someone. One of your friends had wandered off, isn't that right? That's nice of you, to go bring them back to the group. Now, try to remember who that friend was. Camilla. That's right. You need to go find Camilla now. Your sister, your sister is Camilla. Go find her.

You stand up, shake your hair out of your eyes. There is an open crate next to you, why don't you see what's inside? Nothing. There's nothing inside. Okay, that's okay. You look about you, wondering. What are you wondering about? Where your sister could be? Okay. You're behind a tent. There isn't a light on inside the tent. Can't be anyone there, right? Right, you're right. The ground beneath you is more like... I don't know, dust that's gotten lost. It's just like you, then! It's gotten lost, and so have you. You're cold. I'd give you my jacket, if I were wearing one. How cold do you think Camilla is? She was wearing a short sleeved shirt. You need to go find her, got that?

You peer around the corner of the tent. Why're you so nervous? There's nothing to hurt you. Maybe a few spiders. That explains the nervousness. Spiders are scary. Okay, now I'm nervous, too. Do you think there are spiders under that crate you looked in earlier?

No, no, there weren't. There’s no reason to be afraid, friend. Calm down. Go find your sister. Maybe she's that way, to your left. Left, not- no, okay, right works too. That's where you're going, in any case. Your heartbeat echoes in your ears, and you're fairly sure that's not normal. Hey, what's that? Up ahead, just a bit further. It's a light. And where there's a light, there's a person. There's some semblance of civility. There is a world hidden within the idea of light itself, really. There is walking downstairs on a late Saturday morning, watching the dust motes flit through the beams cast by a lazy sun filtering through your curtains. There is running through the rain, wondering where the sun went, and skidding inside to make hot cocoa. There is wandering about the woods without any kind of obligations, listening to the wind whistle tunes that no human can quite get acquainted with while you marvel at the way sunshine reflects on that one special little brook.

Go ahead, look and see where that light will lead you. Nothing bad can happen, can it? Don't think so. Your hands are shaking. That's okay, it's normal. You're nervous. There, just walk around that corner, see what's there. Maybe your sister will be there. Ah, good, you're just standing there. Catching your breath after walking about five yards? Okay. That's fine.

Now you peek about the corner, carefully. Nothing's going to jump out at you, you know. There isn't anything there. Look, what do you see? A clearing among the boxes and tents, lit by a messy cascade of fireflies. Little pinpricks resting gently against the velvet molasses that coalesces into nighttime, they hover and part before your curious eyes. There's nothing in their midst, of course, not that you think.

No, that's not right. There is someone there. Someone you seem to recognize, correct? Good job, you've found your sister. Camilla, that's her name. See? There's nothing to be worried about anymore. She's smiling at the fireflies. Their aureate glow shimmers about your sister, your best friend.

"Cam?"

Your voice is a bit wobbly. She seems to recognize it, though.

"Hey, there you are."

Her voice is calmer than yours, by a longshot. Ah, what's happening now? You're going to knock her over- oh, no, you're both still upright. Hugging, too. That's nice.

"Where'd you go, Cam?" You ask, quietly.

"To chase the lighting bugs. See?" She points to one of the fireflies, and it decides to land on her finger, "Just like when we were kids."

You nod. There was one occasion, about five or six years ago, where the courtyard was overrun with vibrant fireflies. You and Camilla had spent hours out there, playing fairy tales within the gentle embrace of a million lights. That's a fond memory. You wonder if these are the same fireflies, the same little blips of frantic peace that have drifted through your dreams for so long. While I applaud your imagination, I don't think fireflies live for such an unwieldy amount of time.

Something reminds you that your friends would be getting a bit worried by now. You've both been gone for at least half an hour, I think. You just have to get back there, and explain a few things, and off on the rest of the evening. You've already found your sister. Good, this is good! Wonderful, actually. Why aren't you going yet? You're just watching the fireflies. Just standing in that little clearing, watching the fireflies. Your sister is watching them too, and who knows how much longer she'll be able to do that for.

Okay. Watch the fireflies, my friend. Leave the troubles of the rest of the world out there, where nothing can touch your or your sister. You’re safe here, so let it be. Surrender your worries. Who knows what you’re surrendering them to, but they’re not yours anymore. There is nothing to hurt you here. 

Watch the fireflies, and be at peace for a bit.