A Forbidden Fellow's Abyss

Making sure the bed frame doesn’t squeak as I lift myself from the two-inch foam roll that they call a mattress is the most daunting task at 3:47 am, especially when I’m already exhausted from a full day of drills. I guess I should be grateful that I’m not a mindless wanderer in Abyss, but I’m almost fifteen so it’s practically inevitable. The most rebellious and disobedient fellows are assigned to Abyss, which I already embrace as my fate. The Council Fellows review our performance for ten years and put us in our “forever homes” the day after our fifteenth creation date. Most Unit Fellows were created, but I’m one of the few who believes they were born.

“You should really be more careful, you never know when a Council Fellow is going to be disguised as a guard. They live for catching Unit Fellows like you,” Fellow 1283 stated in a mundane, hushed tone as she laid in her bed. 

“83, you know I don’t care who’s out there… but thanks for looking out for me.” My voice got deeper two weeks ago, which is odd for Unit Fellows. Most of them have an airy, monotonous intonation that makes every sentence sound rehearsed. No emotion or inflection ever comes through most Fellows’ voices, but for my three best Unit-Mates and me, it was a different story. I swirled my locs around the crown of my head and tucked them into my hat so they wouldn’t get caught on anything outside. Hair past your neck gets cut, so I hid mine with ease. If they found out my locs were to my waist, I would be double-drilled for weeks. “I’ll be out with the usual crew. Don’t wait up.”

“Very well, Fellow 1437. Be safe.” 83 closed her eyes and shut down immediately. 

I made up my bed and hopped out of the window. We only had two hours tonight, so we had to cover enough ground to make up for lost time. I walked to the broken lamp post and tried my hardest not to step on any glass. Our boots were already so heavy that we couldn’t go completely unheard, but the puddles from the monsoon-like rainfall we had earlier tripled our chances of getting caught.

“I don’t know about this, 37. I think we should wait until next week.” 22 was the most cautious out of all of us, especially since he was the tallest. He kept his head down at all times like he was ashamed, but it still didn’t shrink his height enough to not be noticed. 

“I don’t either, honestly. You guys know Council Fellows are hot on us right now.” 68 said as she walked toward us. She was the voice of reason and always tried to see things from every perspective for the best conclusion. For her to be hesitant right now meant that something really must have felt ‘off’ to her.

“Oh my gosh, YAWN! Stop being so boring, man. We’re the born crew. Get it together! If we hurry up and go now, we can make it back before any Guard, Council Fellow or High Executive even bats an eye.” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. Young and small, 90 was always ready for anything. He was my little ride or die, and I knew he wouldn’t let me down. 

I tilted my head toward 68 and gave her the biggest puppy dog eyes possible. If I could convince her that we’d make it through tonight unscathed, 22 would ultimately follow. If I couldn’t, she would take 22 and her younger cousin with her back to the Unit. 

“Not this time, 37. I can’t risk Abyss. They might know we’re out here, but they don’t know who we are. Maybe they’ll be off our tracks by this time next week. We’ll try again later.”

“68, please don’t back out! You know if we don’t cover any ground tonight, we’ll lose all of our progress. We might as well just quit if we don’t make it past the hill!” I begged her to keep going, but her expression was unchanged. 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine! You said yourself that they don’t know who we are, we can dodge them!”

“No, 90. Come on, let’s go. I’m not risking Abyss for you either, especially this early in your existence. No discussion.” 90 rolled his eyes and waved at me as he turned around and shuffled behind 68.

“Go back to Unit and get some rest, man. We shouldn’t be out here anyway. If they catch us, it’s over. And our minds aren’t as strong as yours, we have to chill out for a few days. If we get injected, you’ll be fine, but the rest of our brains? Mush. Besides, you know this is too dangerous to do by yourself. See ya in a few.” 22 pounded my fist, crouched down and jogged off. 

I crossed my arms and let out a huge sigh as I started to walk back to Unit. I stopped abruptly and thought about the information I was giving up. “I don’t actually need them. I’m covering this ground on my own.” It was better to go by myself than to not go at all, so I jogged toward the hill where the Guards were. They were pacing back and forth with guns in their arms, and I put all of my concentration into deducing how to get past them. With no mates there to act as a distraction, the risk was increased, but I was determined to make it happen. The hill was technically the end of the road for us. Supposedly we’re in an enclosure, but rumors say otherwise even though no Fellows have ever seen what’s beyond the hill. There’s no way I’m not making it to the outskirts to at least see what else is out there. I refuse to spend my entire existence in Abyss without a view of whatever’s beyond the hill readily available in my mind. The only other option is to infiltrate the Executive Library, and no Unit Fellow has ever made it out of the Executive Tower alive. Even though Council Fellows were already onto us, I still liked these odds better. 

I hid behind a bush and broke one of the zipper tabs off my pocket. The bush was in the exact spot to avoid the blinding spotlights – one step over and I would be toast. I held the zipper tab to the edge of the bush, making a reflective surface that would shoot to the top of the hill. 

“Do you see that?” One of the Guards asked his comrade. 

“Yeah, I do actually.” He nodded his head and yelled to the rest of the hill “We got one! Move, now!”

Once the Guards gathered and floated down the steps on the side of the hill, I ran through the bushes to make my way to the back. To my surprise, Council Fellows had gotten smarter. There were three Guards waiting at the back of the hill in case anyone decided to do exactly what I was trying to do. The bushes were high, but they were in a single line. There was no way I could hide from the Guards in the back and stay out of sight of the ones running around to the front.

“Pssst!” I turned my head around sharply and my eyes landed on 90. He must have snuck out as soon as they made it back to Unit. My mouth dropped open, but I didn’t have time to chastise him. I followed him and crawled into a hole by one of the bushes.

“90 what the hell are you doing here? If your cousin finds out, we’re done for! I’m more scared of her than the High Executives!” I whispered loudly. We had to stay quiet, but I still had to get my point across. The hole was pitch black and I couldn’t see his face, but when his shoulders dropped, I knew he slightly regretted his decision. 90 was tenacious and ready for the world, but he was also so young that he didn’t realize the consequences of his actions. Dealing with 90 was like looking into a small, brown eyed mirror. 

“I just want to be like you, 37. You’re…” I covered his face as we heard hushed tones and steel toes walk past us. “You’re never scared of anything, and I want to spend my time finding out the secrets of Unit too! I’ll never do that if I go by 68’s rules. Please let me come along, just this once!” 

It was clear that the emotion in his voice was that of pure longing and desperation. He was me, and I had a soft spot for anybody who didn’t blindly follow the rules like every other Unit Fellow. I sighed aloud and shook my head in disbelief. “Fine, but we’re going back in 20 minutes, and you will never speak of this. Understood?”

“Got it!” He sounded like was smiling again, but my heart rate shot up at the thought of being responsible for 68’s only family. “What’s next? How are we gonna get out of here?”

“We have to wait for a few minutes to make sure all of the Guards are gone. The ones at the back will probably still be there, so we have to go around to the other side of the hill while the ones from the top cross over to the back.”

“But that’s where the Tower is...” 90’s voice started to tremble. We all knew what would happen if we got caught anywhere near the Executive Tower, but I was still willing to risk it all. 

“Listen, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. If anything goes down with me, you run back to 68 as fast as you can and don’t tell anyone where I am.” 90 nodded his head in agreement. Something told me to take him back to Unit at that exact moment, but my curiosity continued to take over. “I don’t hear anything, come on.” I peeped my eyes out of the dark hole to make sure I didn’t see anyone, then proceeded to crawl out. It didn’t take much for 90 to escape, but his stealth was at an all time low because of his fear of the Tower. I motioned for us to get lower and walk with our backs to the opposite side of the bushes. We only had about fifteen minutes left, but I was determined to make it past the hill. It was almost 4:30 am, so the Guards were switching shifts. “On my count, we’re making a run for it,” I whispered to 90. He waited in anxious anticipation. “3…2…1!” I sprinted as fast as I could to the other side of the hill while the Guards were preoccupied. When I made it around to the backside, my hopes and dreams were crushed in an instant. What stopped me in my tracks was a black wall filled with nuts and bolts that went so high, you could see nothing but the night stars above it. I wanted to scream, but I was speechless. I suddenly realized that I didn’t feel any presence behind me. I swung my head around and saw two Guards holding 90 in a headlock with his hands behind his back. Tears filled his eyes, and we both knew that the life he had was over. My hopes and dreams were already crushed, and my soul followed. How could I run so fast that I left 90 behind? I should have been holding his hand, but I let my curiosity get the best of me.

At that moment, I had two choices. I could either make myself known and have both of us get caught, or I could make a run for it and try to save him later. Knowing that I could get 68 and 22 to help me bring him back, I chose the latter. There was nowhere else to go but the Executive Tower. I couldn’t disguise myself as a Guard because my clothes were muddy from being in the hole and my boots were wet from the puddles. My instinct said to get as high as possible, so I planted my boots inside the cobblestone walls and climbed up the side of the tower to the window. Making sure there was no one in the room, I crawled through the tiny circle and landed as softly as I could on the concrete floor. Thankfully it was nighttime, so no one could see me. The problem was, I couldn’t see them either. 

Tiptoeing through the Tower, I finally came to a huge wooden door with yellow gold finishes on it. “Must be the Executive Library.” The door cracked open, and luckily there was a chair on the opposite side of the hallway. I balled up my skinny legs as much as I possibly could and hid under the chair so I could still see what was happening. It was hard for me to hear, but I saw one High Executive in a suit come out first.

“It’s very important that you keep us informed. We need to know their every move. Especially if you find out who it is, send word immediately. I know what protocol is, but this is more important than following the rules.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Dismissed.” The High Executive walked away, and the Guard that he was speaking to finally walked completely out of the door. He banged his head against the wall a few times like he was extremely stressed, and then he turned around. 

“No way… Can’t be…” I said as I saw his face and started to hyperventilate. 22 was my best Unit-Mate, and here he was, being a snake for High Executives. The good thing is, he didn’t rat us out. I guess it’s only a matter of time though. I was at my third impasse of the night. Do I confront him right here, or do I sneak back to Unit and talk to him during drills in the afternoon? There was no telling how many other Guards were around the Executive Library. I decided to cut my losses and go back to Unit to get 68. It was past 5:00 am now, which put me in dangerous territory. Guard numbers increased at 5:30 am, and the suns were going to rise soon after that. Thankfully, the Tower was so forbidden that there were not many Guards surrounding it, and I was able to escape before almost getting caught again. 

“68!! Wake up!!”

“What are you doing, 37? You know we’ll both be double-drilled if you get caught!”

“It’s 90. They got him. You can yell and curse later, but right now, we have to sneak into the Council Fellow’s Quarters before he gets injected. I know who took him, come on.” 

Instead of 68 being upset, she was scared and lost. “We need to get 22 first.”

“NO! We CANNOT trust 22.” She looked extremely confused, but followed closely behind me. We made it to the Council Fellow’s Quarters and looked through the window. Regretfully, 90 was nowhere to be found. “Dammit! It was less than an hour ago, where would they have taken him?”

A resolute expression took over 68’s face, and she took off running. “Where are you going?!” I shouted as I ran after her. The further we ran, the quicker I started to realize where she was headed. She stopped just before she fell over the edge into Abyss. She dropped to her knees and started to cry. Walking around Abyss was a ten-year-old vacant soul with brown eyes, short dark hair, and a gun in his hand. We were too late. 68 lifted from the ground and turned toward me. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she let out a sharp gasp. A Guard had snuck up behind her and injected her. Her fifteenth creation date was in 7 days, and she was on track to be in good graces of the High Executives so she could choose her own “forever home” placement. When he removed the needle, her eyes went blank. She jumped into Abyss and started to wander. Her gun would follow soon. 

The Guard came toward me, and I didn’t even object. I let him stick me. My life was over anyway. 90 was injected five years early for saving me. 68 was injected when she was never supposed to be. My best Unit-Mate was actually one of my worst enemies. I was expecting to feel the warmth leave my body, but I felt exactly the same. Those three said I had a strong mind, but I had no idea it was completely immune to injection. The Guard tried to push me into Abyss, but I dodged his hands and ran away. I ran past the Council Fellow’s Quarters, Unit, and the Executive Tower to the big wall behind the hill. I had nothing to lose, so I capitalized on my adrenaline and scaled the wall. 22 saw me out of the tower window, and screamed my name as I kept climbing. Gunshots commenced, but I didn’t stop. I made it to the top where the suns were rising. I stood on top of the wall, and what I saw took my breath away. I was right. There was so much more out there, and this is exactly why they didn’t want us to see it. The Guards were trailing me, and it was either die or escape. I stepped off the side of the wall and fell into the unknown with a smile on my face. My Abyss was one of a different fate.